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  • Charting My Fandom

    If you are a sports team, you do not want me as a fan.

    I mentioned in a post back in February that I collect the stubs to just about every event I attend, which means I can go back and look up the results of any games for which I still have the ticket.  The result — I know that the teams I wanted to win those games went 26-37-1 with me there.

    Of course there are many variables that go into that result, and it certainly didn’t help that I back a baseball team that has had a few atrocious years.  But in 64 games, I’ve never been to more than three in a row in which my team won.  In a stretch starting with Capitals-Devils on February 27, 2002 and ending with Nationals-White Sox on June 19, 2010, I saw my teams lose 10 out of 11 games.

    Beyond the nerdily interesting task of putting more of my life in an Excel spreadsheet, reading the recaps of games stretching back to 1993 was really fascinating.

    Some interesting notes:

    -Best pitching matchup: Greg Maddux and Mike Mussina at Camden Yards in 2000.

    -Attended same games as Presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush.

    -Saw Orioles OF Larry Bigbie get traded during a game

    -Went to a Nats game on the wrong day, got a free ticket and saw Roy Halladay pitch a CG 2-hitter to record his 21st win of the season.

    -Watched Caps winger Alex Semin get in a fight.  The video of his effort shows why this is a momentous occasion.

    -Witnessed a Chicago Bears punter — on a fake field goal — throw a 27-yard touchdown pass to linebacker Brian Urlacher to beat the Washington Redskins.

    -This season I’ve been to three Nationals games — all extra-inning wins, including a 13-inning game that featured two runnings of the illustrious Presidents Race.  I saw that happen once last year, too.

    We’ll see what happens next time.  Stay tuned.

    [Note: I found some non-game-related items as well.  Covered in this post.]

  • Five!

    I’m not the world’s greatest golfer, but that has nothing to do with my skill in playing the game.  The problem is my equipment.

    Specifically, the issue is that I no longer have a functional 5-iron after breaking it on a driving range during a pre-round warmup session.  Never mind that this happened in July 2007.

    You may be thinking that at some point during the nearly five years that have passed I could have replaced this club.  You would be right.  But I have a few reasons for wanting to keep things as they are.

    First, it’s been almost five years, a fact that gets funnier as that number grows.  Every time I play golf with roommate MR, he always asks when it was that I broke the club and it brings me great delight to add it up and tell him.

    Second, at some point during said golf outing I am guaranteed to walk over to my bag and pull out the pieces (of course I carry them around).  This either happens in response to the previously mentioned question, or more entertainingly, when I happen to be in a situation in which I would use a 5-iron.  Walking over to the ball and taking a few practice swings with just the graphite shaft is comedy gold.

    Lastly, when I shoot a 97, I can say things like, “Gosh, if I just had a 5-iron I’m sure I could have made it under par today.”  Full set of clubs = no excuse.

    I don’t want to lose any of those things.  I play an anything-goes style of golf, trying not to take things too seriously.  When my friends finish a round with lower scores, I quickly point out that for the same price, I got to take more shots.

    Who needs a 5-iron for that?

    April 18, 2012 golf Uncategorized
  • Take Me Out to the Ball Games

    Baseball is back, and that means another fun season ahead at Nationals Park.

    I went along with my mom and brother to the Nats home opener Thursday, which was a scrappy win that seems to be a preview of what is in store for the team this year.  Here’s a little photo/video montage of the day:

    I didn’t have a shot of it myself, but Gio Gonzalez getting his first Major League hit was a fun moment.  You can see in the video here that he couldn’t help but hide how happy he was.  He even tweeted a screenshot of his “BIG smile.”  In a game played by millionaires, it’s easy to forget the fun aspect, so it’s nice to see someone let loose like that.  Add in his great pitching and amazing attitude so far about playing in Washington, and I think I’m really going to enjoy having him on the team.

    On Friday, my brother and I went back for the second game of the year — a 13-inning marathon that ended with Jayson Werth slapping a game-winning single.  His first words after the game were thanking the fans for their support.  He didn’t have very good numbers last year, but I can’t help but like his attitude too.

    My brother and I wore our presidents shirts for the first time.  For those who don’t know, the Nats have four presidential mascots — George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abe Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt — who wear a jersey with their first name and the number of their presidency.  This year Pat and I got our own shirts honoring some lesser-heralded leaders:


    Note: I am not actually three times the size of my brother

    At first we tried the conventional photo op, but quickly discovered Jefferson’s arm around your shoulder obscures the name.  Plus with taking the photo from behind, it’s awkward to tell when to stop posing.  We opted for this “stand near him” style, which means we also happen to be in the background of several other people’s pictures.

    If you’ve made it this far, stick around for one more story from our Metro ride home Friday night.

    A couple sat down in front of us — the woman immediately turning around in her seat to talk to my brother and I.  To say that she was drunk would be a massive understatement.  She apparently recently read a book about body language and set about examining us, giving such observations as “YOU’RE BROTHERS!” and “You have the same eyes, but a different face.”  For the record, we have very different eyes.

    After about 10 minutes, her male companion (probably boyfriend, but I didn’t ask) mentioned that high-fiving was “her thing” and how he was surprised she hadn’t asked us for one yet.  We gave her one.  And then, in the spirit of the fun we were having, I challenged her to high-five 20 other people in our packed train car.

    There were tons of people around us, so I figured she would high-five all those within reach and be done in roughly a minute.  Instead, she took off down the opposite end, high-fiving her way to meeting all sorts of new friends.  She was gone for a while, her companions occasionally calling out to her and noting her laugh as a response.  But with about five stops before they were set to get off, they didn’t hear anything, and went to look for her.  The male companion came back with a look of frustration and said, “She…got off the train.”

    He stepped off at the next stop to find her, while their friends shook their heads and laughed.  Apparently this wasn’t the first time this kind of thing had happened with her.  Who knew a simple high-five challenge would turn out like that?

  • Shining, Shimmering, Splendid

    I spent most of Easter either asleep or at work, but Saturday was full of some solid family time.

    Having my niece around gave us an excuse to indulge in some more kid-like activities related to the holiday, such as decorating eggs.  Let me tell you, it’s much more fun when you have motor skillz.

    You may not think it from the sight of those eggs, but we’re really pretty serious all the time.

    Just kidding.

    Of course after you decorate eggs, the next step is to send someone on a hunt.  Granted, we used plastic eggs for this stage, but it fits my narrative to put this part here so just go with it.

    Finally, a shout-out to the member of the family who loves having Madelyn around and can’t wait for her little brother, Jebez, to arrive in the summer.

    This is Matics, aka Happy Dog, aka David Hasselruff, aka Justin Whimperlake, aka The Genie (you know, since he loves belly rubs, which are like rubbing a lamp like in that movie Aladdin where the Genie pops out and is all like, “Yo Aladdin, I’ll give you three wishes” only it’s in that crazy Robin Williams kind of Genie voice and has all these rules about not wishing for love or other wishes or tacos or something like that and he decides to become a prince to impress that chick with the wimpy tiger but then that other dude with the stick and the bird come along and jack everything up and only then does the chick realize this dude Aladdin is the bomb and they sing that song up in the clouds without FAA clearance and somehow they magically both know this tune well enough to nail the harmony — you know, like that):

    April 10, 2012 family Uncategorized
  • Mad March

    With Kentucky’s unfortunate victory in Monday’s national championship game, the 2012 NCAA men’s basketball tournament came to a merciful end.

    To say that this was not a good year for my bracket would be a monumental understatement.  I’m pretty sure I could mathematically prove that a goldfish — a pretty dumb one — could have beaten me.

    What went wrong?  Just about everything, including losing three of my Final Four picks in the first round and the last one in the second round.  Check out all these red boxes of failure:

    I know, people say every year their bracket stunk, but most of those people are in the middle of the pack in their pool and sad they aren’t winning.  In a group with 23 family members, I came in dead last.

    Pay particular attention to that number on the far right, the 2.37.  That’s my percentile out of all the people who signed up to do a bracket on ESPN.com.  Put another way, I finished in 6,296,953rd place.

    But I wasn’t always this pathetic.

    In fact, just two years ago I had a miraculous run that had friends posting Facebook comments like, “St. Mary’s though? Who makes that pick?! Dammit!”

    Ahh, much better.  I’d like to thank the fine people at ESPN for preserving this super important data so I can relive the glory days.  Hopefully next year I can recapture the magic, or at least find a goldfish to pick for me.

  • Do the Right Thing, Taco Bell

    This an open letter to the fine people at Taco Bell.

    Dear rulers of my fast food heart,

    Last month you introduced a taco with a shell made of Nacho Cheese Doritos, a highly anticipated item that completely satisfied my expectations.

    In fact, it was even better than I imagined.  When I first heard about this idea, I thought the intensity of flavor found in the chips would be far too strong to pair with the other taco ingredients.  But in practice, the shell you created has a subtlety of Doritos flavor that plays well with everything else.

    So now, knowing that such nuanced flavor is possible, there is only one clear move for you to make: Cool Ranch Doritos shell.

    Everyone knows Cool Ranch is the superior Doritos flavor.  It’s a fact.  If Wikipedia stopped deleting my entries, the Doritos page would tell you as much.  Cool Ranch is also perfectly suited for your menu.  It’s a flavor that was practically built to be a taco shell.  Don’t stand in the way of that destiny.

    I’m not the only one who thinks this should happen.

    Do the right thing.

    In closing, I want to commend you for the overall Doritos taco shell movement, especially the extra touch of including a sleeve that protects the eater from the notorious orange finger problem that comes with eating the Nacho Cheese variety.

    Love always,

    CJH

    [Note: a few days after I posted this, news broke that the Cool Ranch taco thing appears to be happening.]

    April 3, 2012 Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • Mock, Yeah, Ing, Yeah, Jay, Yeah

    I am fully caught up on everything “Hunger Games.”

    In my tradition of posting something about each book I read, I hereby state that I read the final two books, “Catching Fire” and “Mockingjay.”  I know a lot of people are reading the series so I don’t want to say much about the text.

    I do want to mention from my own writing perspective how happy I was with the direction the second and third books took — keeping with the history of the characters and the world the author created without being static and repetitive.  If you told me to write my own sequel now, I would certainly struggle to figure out which direction to go.

    I saw the “Hunger Games” movie on Friday night and thoroughly enjoyed it.  It was cool seeing it with people who were just as into the books as I was, and funny at times to hear the comments from those in the audience who clearly had not read them.

    [Note: I discuss the movie using a few references to the second book.  Nothing major or too revealing plot-wise, but if you want to go into the book clean, come back to this post afterward.]

    I’m very interested to see how the second movie is going to go.  There are several elements in the first one that either leave out something from the book or gloss over it in ways that leave seemingly important questions/relationships unexplored.

    For instance, Gale.  He’s kind of an important part of the trilogy.  Even in “Hunger Games,” his role in Katniss’ life and the interaction with her family are pretty key.  So seeing him in roughly two minutes of the movie was a surprise.  Maybe the extended edition director’s cut Blu-ray will have another half-hour of Gale scenes.  Or, more likely, he is given a more prominent role early in the second movie.

    Perhaps related will be the overall depiction of life in the districts.  There was a brief look early in the movie showing the general sense that these are places different than the Capitol.  But the emotional weight you feel knowing the controlling nature of the government in the book is not well-conveyed in the movie.  It’s not that we didn’t care about Katniss and the other kids getting sent into this killing game, but the audacity and brutality of the whole thing wasn’t as clear.  Again, given the way the second book goes, something that could easily be addressed going forward.

    AV pointed out that the nature of the other tributes wasn’t portrayed as clearly as it could have been.  Most seemed to be the coldblooded killers that are supposed to be embodied by only the few districts that train their kids for the games from an early age.  But most are like Katniss — kids from poor districts who are less interested in killing and would certainly rather be anyplace but in the arena.

    And there’s the mockingjay.  First, another AV point, we never learn what mockingjays are in the movie.  They’re just birds.  But they’re not.  If you don’t know they are a symbol of the Capitol’s failure to control everything, then having Katniss wear a mockingjay pin is completely weightless.  Never mind that the pin comes from her little sister and not the mayor’s daughter — a household that plays a small, but pretty important part in the next portion of the story.

    Of course I’m fully willing to give the filmmakers the benefit of the doubt.  They crammed a lot into 2.5 hours and there’s no book you can fully translate into a normal-length movie.  There’s just only so much you can do, and they certainly made a film that I and many others enjoyed.  It’s harder when you have to explain an entirely new world like Panem compared to a movie like “Happy Gilmore” where you can just focus on the plot.

    I’m definitely looking forward to the second one — due out late next year — after reading that the screenplay for “Catching Fire” is being adapted by the same guy who did “Slumdog Millionaire” and “127 Hours.”  Both are amazing movies and a good omen for the future portrayal of Katniss and the gang.

    April 1, 2012 books movies Uncategorized
  • Houston, We Have a Draft

    It’s been almost three months since my last writing project update, but after tacking on another 30,000 words and making it to the end of what I had outlined for the story, I finally have what I’m calling a complete draft.

    I have to give credit to my heroic printer, which, despite my best efforts to kill it today, managed to spit out a pair of hard copies.  I knew from scrolling around the Word file to tweak a few things in the past week that I had a lot of content, but it seems rather ginormous in this form:


    Yes, I weighed it: 2 lbs.

    I’m interested to see what I find in the story when I read it as a whole and not just little pieces at a time.  Yesterday I rediscovered that one of my main characters is a smoker — a detail I haven’t included with her since roughly July.  Whoops.  I guess that’s why we have drafts.

    I posted on April 1 last year that I was starting writing, and it’s kind of incredible how things have changed since then.  I went on vacation last June with the expectation of writing a lot.  I probably got through 2,000 words in six days.  Lately I’ve been in the habit of going to Starbucks to write a few mornings on my weekend.  I can knock out 1,500 words by the time it takes me to finish a large hot chocolate.

    The biggest difference toward the end was feeling like I knew what I was doing.  I’ve spent so much time with these characters — working on how they talk, how they react to certain things and most of all, how they relate to one other — that I don’t have to sit and ponder how scenes would play out.  They just happen.

    Hopefully I can apply those productive habits to the editing process.  I have a few readers, in addition to chief adviser AV, diving into the story now for some much needed feedback.  More updates as things progress.

    March 31, 2012 Uncategorized writing
  • Gettin Maddie With It

    Here’s the thing.  I have a lot of things to write about, but my lack of posting in the past two weeks can be attributed to both being super busy and perhaps poorly managing what little free time I did have.

    Lots of posts on the way in the coming days.  Promise.  To make it up to you, here’s some delayed content from last weekend featuring baby video.  Who doesn’t like baby video?

    I was down in Richmond for a little family get together, which included a little girl who is quickly becoming my favorite niece.  It’s possible I only have one, but she loves playing a game where she brings you items and then puts them all back where they started.  As someone with a slight tilt toward neat-freakness, these are skills I admire.

    With the cars all put away, we were able to get in a jam session on the piano.  I apologize for the camera work in this one.  It’s slightly difficult to frame a shot when you can’t see it while simultaneously trying to play with a child and the piano.

    The final video features a wardrobe change, downing a giant piece of banana and her taking interest in a game involving a ping pong ball and a cup.  The bigger kids (mostly adults) struggled to succeed with this game, but she shows us we were just making it too hard by standing too far away.

    Coming soon: a major update on the writing project, thoughts on the final two books in the Hunger Games series (and possibly the movie), some Mega Millions happenings and exciting new stuff at Taco Bell.

    Stay tuned.

    March 29, 2012 family Uncategorized video
  • So That’s What Fast Looks Like

    About a quarter-mile into a 5K this morning — my first race back from injury — I passed Haitian Olympian Moise JosephThe race was to benefit orphans in Haiti, and he and a few others were there to meet with runners.

    As soon as I passed him, I started crafting this post in my head, thinking I would follow up that information by stating the obvious: If he ran at my personal-best pace, he would probably barely break a sweat.

    I clicked through the first mile at 7:10, a pace slightly slower than my record but ridiculously fast for how out of shape I am right now.  About two minutes later, my joke became all-too-real when Joseph came up next to me and we had a nice conversation.

    CH: “You aren’t even sweating, come on!”
    MJ: humble laughter

    We talked about the weather, and how he was expecting it to be in the 70s (it was more like 50), but that it was actually really nice for a race.  He asked me if I was shooting for a particular goal time and I told him I was just coming back from injury and hoping to finish with no setbacks.

    “Oh perfect, getting back for racing season.”
    “Yeah, feeling great so far.”

    He wished me luck and jaunted off in a way that only the ridiculously fast can pull off, disappearing from my sight in no time while looking as if he were barely trying.

    My last two miles were slower (8:04, 7:54) to finish in 23:57, but given that I struggled a bit through a two-mile run the other day, I will certainly take that.  I signed up for this race literally two days before I hurt my knee and thought back then there was little chance this would be much of a successful run.  But it was great, and I can’t wait to get out for the next one in a month or so.

    Happy running.

    March 18, 2012 running Uncategorized
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