I’m not the world’s greatest golfer, but that has nothing to do with my skill in playing the game.  The problem is my equipment.

Specifically, the issue is that I no longer have a functional 5-iron after breaking it on a driving range during a pre-round warmup session.  Never mind that this happened in July 2007.

You may be thinking that at some point during the nearly five years that have passed I could have replaced this club.  You would be right.  But I have a few reasons for wanting to keep things as they are.

First, it’s been almost five years, a fact that gets funnier as that number grows.  Every time I play golf with roommate MR, he always asks when it was that I broke the club and it brings me great delight to add it up and tell him.

Second, at some point during said golf outing I am guaranteed to walk over to my bag and pull out the pieces (of course I carry them around).  This either happens in response to the previously mentioned question, or more entertainingly, when I happen to be in a situation in which I would use a 5-iron.  Walking over to the ball and taking a few practice swings with just the graphite shaft is comedy gold.

Lastly, when I shoot a 97, I can say things like, “Gosh, if I just had a 5-iron I’m sure I could have made it under par today.”  Full set of clubs = no excuse.

I don’t want to lose any of those things.  I play an anything-goes style of golf, trying not to take things too seriously.  When my friends finish a round with lower scores, I quickly point out that for the same price, I got to take more shots.

Who needs a 5-iron for that?