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CoCo Sticks It To NBC

Ratings for The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien are up more than 50 percent since the whole brouhaha with NBC began.

The shame is that so many people who have been drawn in by the drama haven’t been able to enjoy the Conan experience, and soon will have him disappear from the airwaves. Well, for a while at least.

I’m not going to feel too bad for someone who today signed a severance deal that will pay him $33 million. But it will be sad for him to lose a show he has wanted for so long. After some length of a non-compete clause in the settlement, Conan will be back somewhere–Fox?–but until then enjoy the last two days.

One of the perks of working a few overnight shifts in the past two weeks has been watching Conan live while at work. The level of sticking it to NBC has been borderline surprising, and yet just gets funnier and funnier with each step.

Take last night for example. This clip shows a segment where Conan points out that while the show is still on the air, they can do anything they want and NBC has to pay for it. So he does the only natural thing and brings in an insanely expensive car with background music that costs a fortune to license. The result is a minute of TV that cost NBC $1.5 million for absolutely no reason other than spite.

In announcing the segment, Conan made it seem like it was going to be a recurring theme for the rest of his time there, which we now know will be just two more shows. I also found it interesting that among the many clips from this episode, the skit is not one offered on NBC.com. It’s also not on Hulu, which is partially owned by NBC Universal.

At least Hulu does have a clip from last night’s episode with Ed Helms offering a very special song for Conan.

Cooooooooooooooooooooooooooonan, Cooooooooooooooonaaaaaan.

January 21, 2010 television Uncategorized
Rush-ing to Judgment

I don’t listen to Rush Limbaugh. If you do, that’s fine.

But I have to take exception with his comments regarding Haiti in the wake of this week’s deadly earthquake.

The island, one of the poorest nations on Earth, has been devastated by yet another natural disaster. If you’ll recall in 2007 Haiti was slammed by several major hurricanes in the span of a few weeks. The people of Haiti were still rebuilding many of the basic services we take for granted when the earthquake hit.

Now they have to start all over. What they need now is help, and for most of us the best we can do to offer aide is by making monetary donations. So when Rush Limbaugh takes issue with calls to give monetarily, that’s not helping anyone.

Here’s a link to a clip of his radio show where Limbaugh says two things. First, he says “We’ve already donated to Haiti. It’s called the U.S. income tax.” The other statement is in response to a caller who take exception to President Barack Obama directing people to the WhiteHouse.gov site for donation information.

Limbaugh, and the caller, question whether the money would actually be going to Haiti and whether your name would end up on some mailing list. I’ll start with this point.

A big story yesterday was the appearance of fraudulent donation seekers, people who were using the situation in Haiti to procure money from people trying to help. If you are someone who wants to be sure your money is going to the right place, what you want is a trusted clearinghouse for that information. I would feel pretty good about getting a lead on where to donate from the White House.

If Limbaugh had bothered to go to the site, he would have seen a few things that make his argument moot. You click a big banner that says “Help for Haiti.” That brings you to a page with three options for donating: Instructions for texting your donation to the American Red Cross, a link to the Red Cross site and a link to the Center for International Disaster Information. Nowhere on the White House site does it give you the option to give money directly. If you can’t give directly, how then would your money be diverted elsewhere and how would you end up on a mailing list?

To the point of “already donating” through the income tax, that’s a tough position to take. At the risk of making an ad absurdum argument, here goes.

When 7-year-old Johnny from down the street stops by your house selling giftwrap to raise money for his school, do you tell him you already gave the school money through taxes? If a fire department is sponsoring a “Fill the Boot” campaign, do you roll down your window and tell them you’re sorry, but you already gave the department money through taxes? Should people avoid giving money to organizations like the USO and Wounded Warrior Project because we already pay taxes that support the troops?

No. If you feel the desire to give of your time or money to support a cause, you should do it. If you want to abstain, that’s fine. You have every right to do so. Sometimes it’s OK to open your heart, and your wallet, and give to people who quite frankly are having a really really crappy time.

January 15, 2010 Uncategorized
And the Oscar Goes To…

We are about two weeks away from the Oscar nominations, a chance to debate the year that was in movies.

Thanks to Netflix, I think I saw no more than two movies in the theater this year. But also thanks to Netflix, I will be able to catch up on all the best films once they hit DVD.

The other day I watched The Reader, one of the five films nominated for Best Picture last year. The others, in case you have forgotten, were Frost/Nixon, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Milk and winner Slumdog Millionaire.

Having seen all except Benjamin Button, I can say I am glad I didn’t have to cast a vote in that category. I still agree with the Slumdog pick, but any of the others are a great way to spend a few hours. Throw in Changeling, Rachel Getting Married and The Wrestler and we’re talking about a stellar year in film.

The previous year was also strong with Best Picture nominations going to Juno, Michael Clayton, Atonement, There Will Be Blood and winner No Country for Old Men. There weren’t as many top flight films, especially compared with what we got in 2008.

Then again, 2007 did bring us The Simpsons Movie and Superbad.

The latter I saw at 10:45 a.m. in a theater that featured myself, my brother and three other adults. Before our show, they had some sort of discount children’s movie day. The place was packed to the gills with little kids and their parents.

As soon as they filed out of the theater, we started to go in just as everybody does when the previous showing lets out. We were downright yelled at by a theater employee who said we couldn’t go in yet. He even went as far as putting up a little rope to prevent five adults from disobeying his verbal warning.

Then again, he did have to clean up tons and tons of spilled candy/popcorn from all those damn kids.

January 14, 2010 movies Netflix Uncategorized
Dieting Outside the Bun

Sometimes you see a commercial and think, “these people cannot be serious.”

Such was the case the first time I saw the ad for Taco Bell’s new campaign, the Drive Thru Diet. For the first 10 seconds or so I thought it was a joke.

As a longtime patron of The Bell, I must say I’m a little confused by this tactic. Sure, it probably did wonders for Subway to get people thinking about being like Jared. And for people who replaced a bucket of fried chicken with a Subway cold cut, that was a great nutritional move.

But Taco Bell? Thinking outside the bun doesn’t exactly scream “healthy,” even with their lower-fat “fresco” options.

The other part I don’t buy is calling it the “Drive Thru Diet.” Diets and drive thrus should be on opposite ends of the life spectrum — if you’re trying to lose weight, at least walk from your car into the Taco Bell before taking down a few burritos.

Then again, I have been on the Taco Bell diet for years and it seems to be working pretty well. In fact, thanks to a stress fracture in my foot I haven’t exercised for a solid six weeks and in that time have taken down quite a bit of Taco Bell food. The result? I’m fairly certain I have lost about five pounds. And that’s without partaking in anything off the “fresco” menu.

Maybe Taco Bell is onto something after all.

January 6, 2010 food Taco Bell Uncategorized
Do You Like Hot Sauce?

Technology is great.

With out it, how would I quickly find the answer to pressing questions like “I wonder if a girl would ever say yes to a proposal done with a Taco Bell sauce packet?”

The fine folks at Taco Bell have for years put little sayings on their sauce packets. On the “Hot” variety, one of the lines is “Will You Marry Me?” My roommate picks that one up every time we go, and so far hasn’t had any luck with me.

But that made us think, could that actually work? And further, could you convince the girl to actually have the wedding at a Taco Bell?

We hoped both were possible.

So of course I posed the question on Facebook and quickly got a response from every possible part of the spectrum. A no: “Not unless there’s a ring inside the packet.” A yes: “Love it!” A response I could have predicted (from my mom): “Is there something you would like to share with us?”

I’ll take a moment and address the last one first. My mom and I have a longstanding joke that I’m going to be married for several years with several kids before I bother to let her know I’m even in a relationship. I take this as a challenge.

Now putting a ring in the packet does seem like a logical next step. But I would fear the reaction of a significant other who has to deal with a ring covered in hot sauce. Doesn’t seem like the best way to start things off.

In case you’re wondering, yes I did tape a hot sauce packet to my wall

As for the “Love it!” comment, I’m glad I’m friends with that person.

Lest you think this is a crazy plan and no one would actually go through with it, I invite you to meet Chellie. She not only was on the receiving end of this tactic, but was cool enough to say yes. Read her account on what I presume is her blog.

If you’re the kind of gal who is down with the packet proposal, it’s not much of a stretch to think you would be OK with doing the ceremony there as well. And, well, that has happened too. Check out this story from the Associated Press (Via HuffingtonPost). The best line of the story, “He proposed on New Year’s Eve and, because they like to spend time at the local Taco Bell, they decided to wed there.”

Maybe I should spend more time hanging out at Taco Bell.

January 4, 2010 life plans Taco Bell Uncategorized
And So It Was Written

Another year has come to an end, and with it another round of books has been added to the “already read” portion of my bookshelf.

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December 31, 2009 book recap books nerdness
Ho Ho…Wait, What Happened?

If you happened to witness our Christmas Day 2004 festivities, my family could use your help.

We apparently have a good idea of what happened at all of the other Christmases since 2002, but for some reason that year is a blur. At least, when it comes to the bunny suit.

Inspired by “A Christmas Story” I gave my younger brother a bunny suit as part of his 2002 gift. It’s not as awesome as it sounds. Given the incredible prices of adult-size bunny suits at the time, I went with a roughly $4 infant-size suit I got on eBay.

The first recipient, circa 2002

Since then the bunny suit has made the rounds, ending up in the hands of just about everyone in the family. This year we decided we should make an official record, and that’s where the amnesia set in.

Everyone insists they’ve only had it a certain number of times, and that leaves a year missing. Putting together other bits of information — like knowing to whom we gave it or who gave it to us — has filled in most of the years.

But 2004 is a complete mystery.

Not a mystery are two of the more interesting holiday songs in existence. One has to do with hippos and rhinocerosesses. The other, with an Italian donkey.

I also should mention that my roommate and I have official parental support for our Nerf gun activities. His parents presented us with two more guns for our collection, this time with suction darts. Get excited.

December 28, 2009 Christmas Uncategorized
I Don’t Want to Grow Up

A week ago my roommate and I spent a few hours playing 1080 Snowboarding on Nintendo 64. We were very much aware it was 2009 and not 1999, but it’s a fun game.

That was apparently the clincher for his girlfriend later remarking that we were acting more kid-like lately. So it should have been no surprise that just a few days later we went to Toys ‘R Us and purchased Nerf guns.

It was after that trip that we jokingly said next we’d be building forts, and well, look what happened.

Nerf guns are quite advanced these days, which fortunately supported our hypothesis about how far toys could come since our childhood. The model we selected (we got the same kind) has detachable parts that allow you to make anything from a handgun up to an assault rifle. It is also complete with a “laser” site that is quite enjoyable to use when trying to shoot your roommate in the dark.

The gloriousness of the modern Nerf gun

In fact, in our short experience with our toy weapons it is clear that everyone should own one. See a stuffed animal on the other side of the room? Blast it with a Nerf dart. Your roommate walks in after a long day at work? Shoot him as he flips through the mail. The fun is endless.

Maybe everyone should take a step back and recapture a piece of their childhood. Mad after a crappy day at work? Play some old-school MarioKart. Get dumped by your boyfriend? Tape his picture to the wall and hit it with a Nerf gun. Two feet of snow falls, dashing your weekend plans? Get out a sled (or make a sweet fort). The world is your candy cane (candy canes being far tastier than oysters).

December 21, 2009 snow Uncategorized video games
Let It Snow

The recliner in our family room has a great view of the TV, and is where I write most of these posts. It also looks out onto our back deck.

That last part is what leads to things like: “It’s going to snow like a mother. I bet I could use that patio furniture to make a cool snow fort.” When the forecast called for 16-22 inches in our area, I set to work arranging the pieces into a rudimentary frame.

With a table, two Adirondack chairs, four side tables and a pile of leaves, I came up with this:

This storm turned out to be one of the biggest snowfalls in my lifetime in the Washington, D.C., area. I was here in 1996 for a similar storm and remember making snow forts the hard way back then. The process involved making a huge pile of packed snow, and then digging out the inside for a sort of igloo effect.

While it was a good system, it took forever. It also had stability issues since in trying to maximize your interior space you have to make the walls thinner and thinner. Eventually that leads to disaster.

So in 2009, using a patio table as the roof seemed like a much better way to go. Initially I didn’t plan to do any construction once the snow started falling. But once there were 7-8 inches on the ground I decided to try to make a nice stable layer for the rest of the snow to sit on.

Here’s what it looked like just before I intervened:

A lot of snow had made it through the sides and into the fort, but I still had to add some more from the rest of the deck to get the walls solid. Fortunately, the snow packed pretty well and I was able to get it all closed up without too much trouble.

And then the snow kept falling. And kept falling. And kept falling. We ended up with about a foot and a half of the fluffy white stuff. By the time the sun was setting, the fort looked like this:

The photos don’t even do it justice — this thing takes up most of the deck. It’s almost laughable to glance outside and see how big it is.

And if it snows again this year, we have a lot more patio furniture sitting around and thus will have a much bigger fort. I bet we could make a sort of tunnel that reaches the back door.

December 20, 2009 snow Uncategorized
Door-othy, We’re Not in Kansas Anymore

Apparently, chivalry isn’t dead. At least, when it comes to car doors that is.

This evening my roommate and I spent quite a while trying to defend his lack of opening car doors for his girlfriend. Our argument is that it is an antiquated expectation that is unrealistically held in the minds of few girls these days.

After all, it is 2009 and not 1919. I believe I even suggested she go back to the 1840s.

But I turned to a scientific process for help, and by that I mean I texted three females for their views. My exact question: “Would you expect a guy to open a car door for you to get in?”

Their responses:

“Not anymore, but he always did when we were dating” — from Married in Raleigh.

“Only if he is driving” — from Hitched in Pennsylvania.

“I don’t know if expect is the right word. But I certainly would like it and regard it highly…sorry, you’re wrong” — Independent in New Jersey.

Damn.

I’ll go ahead and admit that the first source was a bad decision on my part. The guy in that relationship is my brother, and he is one of those who makes the rest of us look bad. Maybe I should have asked more people dating jerks.

Yet even with this evidence, I still stand by our position. It’s not 1919, and a lot has changed in the relationships between men and women. We did draw a distinction between cars and holding doors to buildings/rooms, which we agreed was just a generally polite thing to do. I have no issues there.

I argued that in an era of women’s liberation, it should be a matter of personal honor to open your own door. After all, it’s not like it’s a physically hard thing to do. You pull and handle and get in. If anything, all you’re doing in waiting for me to open the door is delaying us in getting wherever we’re going.

But the source on the other end of that message disagreed, perhaps vehemently: “Not hating on women’s rights…Just appreciative of kind gestures. Besides we carry purses and guys don’t.”

Last time I checked, it didn’t take two hands to carry a purse.

I welcome your opinions on the topic.

And please enjoy this entertaining car-related tale from the deep, deep archives of The Ert Movement.

December 11, 2009 ert Uncategorized