Taco Bell

Home / Archive by Category "Taco Bell" ( - Page 3)
  • 18 Jun

    Provident Strasmania

    Today was one of those days that just worked out well.

    I did some work at my parents’ house and disposed of some old paint and other chemicals that had been sitting in their garage for a long time. Both went very smoothly.

    Then I went to a baseball game, where I saw Washington Nationals phenom Stephen Strasburg strike out 10 hitters in seven strong innings of work. Here’s some visual evidence of his awesomeness:

    The game went into extra innings, which led to a really entertaining moment from the woman in the white sleeveless shirt on the left of that picture. Between innings she stood up and took a picture of the guy playing the organ, who was in a suite to our right. Then she gave him a standing ovation and yelled “yaaaaay organ player!”

    Certainly a new experience for me.

    The game wrapped up in time for us to get back to our local Taco Bell before they closed. I decided on the train ride home to get an enchirito, which I had not ordered in years.

    Roommate CA went to the game with me, and we miscalculated his Metro fare by a mere 10 cents. I gave him a dollar for the exit fare and got my 90 cents in change back. My Taco Bell order of a Mexican pizza, enchirito and large cherry Pepsi came to the nice, round amount of $6.90. Providence? I think so.

    As for the game itself, it was pretty solid even though the Nats lost. Strasburg brought a level of excitement I have never seen at a Washington baseball game, and certainly delivered on the hype. It’s a shame the offense couldn’t get him a few runs to go along with his effort.

    CA and I had to get up roughly 32489097 times to let people in and out of our row, which led us to what may be our greatest creation–Flextions.

    A flextion is a section of the stadium that is designated for those people who seem to be constantly getting out of their seat for one reason or another. In any section at any sporting event there always seems to be those 5-10 people who keep getting up, while the majority sits in their seat the entire game.

    The solution is to put all of those people together, making it more relaxing for the rest of us. It also means they don’t have to step over those people who are sitting, making it easier to take care of whatever business they require. Plus it would be really entertaining to see 10 full sections of people get up and leave their seats all at the same time.

    We figured a ratio of one flextion to six regular sections would be appropriate. If there are not enough people to fill a flextion, others can move into those seats (thus the “flex” part).

    To make it seem less like we are herding the people away, the flextions will be located right next to bathrooms and concessions so those getting up can quickly get to wherever they are going.

    Fans with kids are automatically put into the flextion since they are guaranteed to be frequent movers. Others are honest about their game-watching habits and request to be part of those sections, which as discussed earlier will only enhance their game experience.

    I’m sure there are some holes in the plan, but it has to be a start.

    We also decided on the train ride home that no person older than 13 should be allowed to carry a glove to a baseball game. You are probably not going to catch a ball, and if one does happen to come your way, man up and use your hands.

    Heading to another game tomorrow afternoon with a much different perspective out in center field. Let’s Go Nats!

    By cjhannas baseball Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • 24 Mar

    Feeling Lucky, Punk?

    There are times in life where you just have to take a step back and say things like, “Is this really happening?” and “How long could this possibly last?”

    I have been on a pretty good winning streak lately, much of it involving sports but also regarding life in general. It’s definitely one of those runs where you start to think something incredibly bad has to come soon in order to balance out the universe, so I’m on the lookout for thunderstorms that may try to strike me down with their treacherous lightning.

    I posted recently about a string of prognostications about Olympic events, snowfall amounts and hockey games played by small children. If you missed that one, I came up on the winning side many more times than my roommate.

    Now that streak has extended to the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, where teams like St. Mary’s, Xavier and Cornell have propelled my bracket to ridiculous heights in several pools. Before Thursday’s third round, I am in the 100th percentile on ESPN.com. When people are posting things on your Facebook page like, “st. mary’s though? who makes that pick?! dammit!” you know there’s a certain amount of luck on your side.

    Since the end of the college football season I have also been taunting my brother (a Redskins fan) about the prospects of former Florida quarterback Tim Tebow being drafted by his favorite team. As a fan of the rival Giants, and not a fan of Tebow, nothing would make me happier than seeing him in a Washington uniform. While watching my NCAA basketball picks come through last weekend my brother sent me a text message that said the Redskins were giving Tebow serious consideration.

    ESPN also has a contest of sorts where you try to string together streaks of correct picks about sporting events called Streak for the Cash. It’s maddeningly entertaining. Sometimes you lose six games in a row, but sometimes the luck kicks in and you run off a streak of 10-straight correct picks. Of course when you get to 10 (as I did yesterday) it’s only a matter of time before you get a little ahead of yourself and make a dumb pick. Unfortunately UNC beat UAB last night and my streak is no more.

    Hopefully that will be enough of a lightning bolt for now and my bracket picks can continue their run.

    Though maybe I should be trying to raise the stakes a bit–cold call Bill Gates and ask him for a few million dollars, see if the Nationals will let me pitch on opening day, try to get a Taco Bell Express built in place of a neighbor’s house, find out if Mila Kunis wants to have dinner at that Taco Bell Express–you know, get while the gettin’s good.

    This is totally unrelated, but too neat not to pass along: A story about an artist who turns people into a canvas…of themselves.

    By cjhannas basketball Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • 24 Jan

    By the Numbers

    I know I have mentioned it before, but I am a big fan of “This American Life.”

    But sometimes the stories can bring things up that are, well, a little sad. After last week’s episode, a guy I went to college with tweeted, “this week’s This American Life is pretty depressing.”

    The episode is titled “Somewhere Out There” and can be found on their site. Specifically he was talking about the first and last stories.

    The first involved one of the correspondents talking about a time when he was at Harvard and along with some classmates calculated their odds of getting girlfriends.

    They used something called the Drake Equation, in which you take characteristics of subsets of the population and by applying their percentage in that population you end up with a small group that has all of those qualities. In this case they started with the population of Boston, kept just the females, those within a certain age range, those with a certain level of education and of course those who were single.

    The result was a depressingly small number that did not make them feel very good about their prospects.

    So of course I did some research on my local population to see how things shake out. In the name of not being too restrictive, I started with my entire county. Fairfax County, Va., has a total population of about 1 million people. Of that, there are about 34,000 females between the ages of 25-29.

    That number drops even more quickly by applying just two basic characteristics–the need for them to be single and be a college graduate. According to census statistics, about 46 percent of females in that age range are single. That drops eligible number to 15,460.

    I live in an area with a high level of education, with about 62 percent of females in that age range having college degrees. That cuts the pool to 9,696.

    The only other obvious requirement from the census data I found was the ability to speak English (since that’s what I speak). But the data shows a negligible percentage of residents who don’t speak English well.

    I couldn’t find anything on percentage of females in that age range who are not crazy, or those who like Taco Bell. But I’m guessing that second group will certainly cut down the 9,696 significantly.

    You might be saying, nearly 10,000 people is a pretttty big pool. However, that is before you factor in anything like physical appearance, personality and of course the narrowing equation from their end as well. If I had to estimate, I think that brings the original 34,000 down to about 7. Hard to say.

    By cjhannas life plans Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • 06 Jan

    Dieting Outside the Bun

    Sometimes you see a commercial and think, “these people cannot be serious.”

    Such was the case the first time I saw the ad for Taco Bell’s new campaign, the Drive Thru Diet. For the first 10 seconds or so I thought it was a joke.

    As a longtime patron of The Bell, I must say I’m a little confused by this tactic. Sure, it probably did wonders for Subway to get people thinking about being like Jared. And for people who replaced a bucket of fried chicken with a Subway cold cut, that was a great nutritional move.

    But Taco Bell? Thinking outside the bun doesn’t exactly scream “healthy,” even with their lower-fat “fresco” options.

    The other part I don’t buy is calling it the “Drive Thru Diet.” Diets and drive thrus should be on opposite ends of the life spectrum — if you’re trying to lose weight, at least walk from your car into the Taco Bell before taking down a few burritos.

    Then again, I have been on the Taco Bell diet for years and it seems to be working pretty well. In fact, thanks to a stress fracture in my foot I haven’t exercised for a solid six weeks and in that time have taken down quite a bit of Taco Bell food. The result? I’m fairly certain I have lost about five pounds. And that’s without partaking in anything off the “fresco” menu.

    Maybe Taco Bell is onto something after all.

    By cjhannas food Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • 04 Jan

    Do You Like Hot Sauce?

    Technology is great.

    With out it, how would I quickly find the answer to pressing questions like “I wonder if a girl would ever say yes to a proposal done with a Taco Bell sauce packet?”

    The fine folks at Taco Bell have for years put little sayings on their sauce packets. On the “Hot” variety, one of the lines is “Will You Marry Me?” My roommate picks that one up every time we go, and so far hasn’t had any luck with me.

    But that made us think, could that actually work? And further, could you convince the girl to actually have the wedding at a Taco Bell?

    We hoped both were possible.

    So of course I posed the question on Facebook and quickly got a response from every possible part of the spectrum. A no: “Not unless there’s a ring inside the packet.” A yes: “Love it!” A response I could have predicted (from my mom): “Is there something you would like to share with us?”

    I’ll take a moment and address the last one first. My mom and I have a longstanding joke that I’m going to be married for several years with several kids before I bother to let her know I’m even in a relationship. I take this as a challenge.

    Now putting a ring in the packet does seem like a logical next step. But I would fear the reaction of a significant other who has to deal with a ring covered in hot sauce. Doesn’t seem like the best way to start things off.


    In case you’re wondering, yes I did tape a hot sauce packet to my wall

    As for the “Love it!” comment, I’m glad I’m friends with that person.

    Lest you think this is a crazy plan and no one would actually go through with it, I invite you to meet Chellie. She not only was on the receiving end of this tactic, but was cool enough to say yes. Read her account on what I presume is her blog.

    If you’re the kind of gal who is down with the packet proposal, it’s not much of a stretch to think you would be OK with doing the ceremony there as well. And, well, that has happened too. Check out this story from the Associated Press (Via HuffingtonPost). The best line of the story, “He proposed on New Year’s Eve and, because they like to spend time at the local Taco Bell, they decided to wed there.”

    Maybe I should spend more time hanging out at Taco Bell.

    By cjhannas life plans Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • 02 Dec

    Limptastic

    I have learned a lot in the last week about living life at half speed.

    Actually it’s been slightly more than a week. I would have written this yesterday, but one of the things I learned is that going to the grocery store takes forever when you’re limping around. I also found that a shopping cart is kind of like a walker on steroids.

    If you have ever gone someplace with me that involved walking you probably know that I typically stroll quite quickly. So it is less than ideal to have a stress fracture in my foot that means I have to wear a stylish flat-soled shoe.

    In addition to the natural avoidance of pain, I’m also being slowed down by the shoe’s construction. Though today I worked on a sort of combo limp-run, which entails running on the left (uninjured) foot and limping on the right. The result is a slightly faster walking speed without putting the bum foot in jeopardy.

    So we’re making progress.

    Last weekend I found myself in a rare scenario these days. I was wearing a Susquehanna University sweatshirt and was in a place where I bet at least 75 percent of the people around me knew what that was. Of course being at a Taco Bell in central PA is almost cheating in that regard. But it was still a happy time.

    By cjhannas injury running Susquehanna Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • 30 Sep

    In Defense of Sweatpants

    If you read a lot, you’ll undoubtedly come across sentences with which you disagree and even some that make you downright angry.

    But it takes a truly outlandish idea to make you fume over an article, and a particularly needling writer to open that article with a perfectly offensive sentence.

    From this week’s issue of Newsweek, I present the following: “There is nothing wrong with a man owning a pair of sweatpants, but there is something very wrong with a man wearing them in public.”

    I almost don’t know where to begin disagreeing with that sentence, but I’ll try.

    First, every man should own sweatpants (or something equally casual, possibly made of nylon). The writer’s problem with those pants being worn in public goes against a lot of what we should be aspiring towards as a culture.

    When I’m hungry and want to go to Taco Bell, I shouldn’t feel compelled to take a shower, slather on cologne and don a three-piece Armani suit. I’m going to flipping Taco Bell. The signs on the door say “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service.” My only responsibility is to fulfill the basic requirements–wearing some form of shirt and shoes.

    If Taco Bell doesn’t even mention pants on their sign of basic customer clothing, why should it matter what sort of pants I am wearing? I mean, sweatpants are delightfully comfortable. Shouldn’t we live in a world where people can be comfortable?

    How often do you see someone who is clearly trying too hard to impress with their dress? How often do we embrace fictional characters who eschew societal norms and succeed by “being themselves”? If you are a sweatpants person, who’s to say you should have to conform to what other people want to see in public? When you’re considering going outside, your thought should not be about dressing a certain way just so everyone else will have “nice” things to look at.

    If you want to see someone dressed to the nines, do it yourself and look in the mirror. There’s no need to push your visions of fashion perfection on someone who wants to be comfortable and doesn’t feel the need to try to impress you.

    During the summer months it seems perfectly acceptable for people to wear all types of shorts. So why should taking the same basic concept and adapting it for colder weather be any different? Not to mention the obvious double standard explicit in the article’s lead sentence–that men should not wear sweats in public. How would it be more acceptable for women to wear sweats? Aren’t females typically considered to be held to a higher fashion standard than men?

    Then again, I welcome and encourage everyone to wear sweats–I’m all for equal-opportunity comfort. The bottom line, sweats are sweet.

    By cjhannas fashion Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • 28 Jul

    Can We Go to the Shopping Center?

    Four kids and a babysitter walk into a shopping center.

    That’s not the start of a joke, but rather a scene that tells you it’s 2009 and not 1994.

    I saw the group the other day while in a drive-thru line at Taco Bell. The shopping center is a few miles south of my parents’ house–which has another shopping center about a mile to the north.

    The kids looked like they were all in elementary school, maybe one of them in middle school. The chaperon was clearly leading the way on their midday, summer-vacation sojourn.

    I couldn’t help but to think back to my elementary school days. It was then that a shopping center sprang up out of a former strawberry farm, bringing exciting things like a McDonald’s so close to our house. It wasn’t long before me and my three siblings were planning Saturday trips for pawing through the Salvation Army store or scoring a meal at the long-defunct–but tasty–Tippy’s Tacos.

    All we needed was permission to go. Today, there are probably few parents who would let their four kids walk or ride their bikes to a place so full of strangers; a trip that would have them gone for several hours. We didn’t even have cell phones to keep track of us.

    And yet, our parents let us go. During summer vacation, we could go all the time. I’ll never forget learning the lesson of thinking about your mode of transportation before making a purchase I picked up when I acquired a giant red plastic bat from the Salvation Army. It’s the kind that usually comes with a big plastic ball and is designed for 5-year-olds just learning how to swing. But at only 25 cents, how I could I pass it up? So I made the entire bike ride back home balancing the big red bat over my handlebars, glad that I hadn’t followed my instinct to buy two of them.

    There was the time I went on my rollerblades, only to have a pretty awful spill in the gravel just in front of our neighborhood. Not even halfway to the shopping center, I decided to go ahead with the trip to McDonald’s. Fortunately they had a nice bathroom where I could examine my injuries and pick the gravel out of my arm before scarfing down a Big Mac.

    On the last day of school in 6th grade, a group of my friends from the neighborhood thought it would be fun to go hang out at Chuck E. Cheese. That’s the day we learned they don’t let unaccompanied minors hang out at Chuck E. Cheese. A lame policy if you ask me.

    My little brother, Pat, and his friend, also Pat, had their bikes stolen at the shopping center once. But out of hundreds of combined trips, that’s the only negative thing that ever happened.

    You might think this is a different time, and in a way it is. I think we are more aware of what is around us, but that doesn’t mean those same potentially dangerous elements weren’t in our society 15 years ago. What is here is a level of caution that doesn’t let kids be more than 10 feet from their parents. While that may be “safer,” there are certain lessons you can learn and experiences you can only have when your dad says you and your brother can go to the shopping center.

    By cjhannas family McDonald's nostalgia Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • 23 Jul

    Honoring an American Icon

    If you noticed anyone at work today who was a little down, maybe even shedding a few unexplained tears, they lost a very special part of their lives.

    As this obituary in the Washington Post says, Gidget, the Taco Bell dog, has died.

    Even if you’re not a Taco Bell fan, there’s still a chance Gidget meant a lot to your life. Fans of the Reese Witherspoon epic “Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde” will remember Gidget as Elle Woods’ diminutive partner in lawyering.

    It’s not often an animal gets an obituary in a national newspaper. Even rarer may be a public comment from an international company following the death of an animal. Upon Gidget’s death, Taco Bell issued a statement saying “Our deepest sympathies go out to her owners and fans.”

    My love for Taco Bell really took shape during the height of the “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” era. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

    Next time I’m making a run for the border, I’ll be sure to pour out a little Wild Cherry Pepsi for my lost homey. Actually, that stuff is tasty. Maybe I’ll just eat an extra cheesy gordita crunch for Gidget.

    By cjhannas animals Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • 24 Nov

    Mmmmm…Ice Cream…

    It’s slightly possible that I have too much time on my hands. Actually, they may have been the case for a long time.

    As evidenced by this 2006 entry, sometimes I find a spot in my schedule to email a large corporation about a slightly less-than-egregious wrong on their part. In the former case, it was my beloved Taco Bell that failed to give my friend the correct sauce for his meal several trips in a row.

    Now, it’s the ice cream standards at Harris Teeter.

    Let my message to their online comment system explain the situation:

    “Dear Harris Teeter Persons,

    I recently purchased some Harris Teeter All Natural Ice Cream labeled as containing ‘Vanilla Fudge Swirl.’ Upon opening the container, I was surprised at how little of the fudge portion was present. Is there a set percentage at which you can call a product ‘Vanilla Fudge Swirl?’ I expected a consistent thick ribbon as shown on the front of the carton. Please advise.”

    To more completely understand the outlandish nature of labeling this ice cream as “Vanilla Fudge Swirl” I offer the following pictures: The box, and its contents.

    Unfortunately, the fine people at the Harris Teeter customer service department didn’t quite take the bait in an extremely entertaining way as I had hoped. Instead they apologized for the problems I was having with their product and said I could return it with a receipt for a replacement.

    I guess we’ll never know what level of fudge is required to call something “Vanilla Fudge Swirl.”

    By cjhannas Taco Bell Uncategorized
1 2 3 4
Archives