fashion

  • 30 Oct

    Embrace Your Inner Kangaroo

    People love fall for lots of reasons — leaves changing color, pumpkin spice lattes, Halloween parties, an extra hour of sleep, Thanksgiving.

    But for me, it’s all about the return to my wardrobe of shirts with pouches on the front. I could care less about those other “benefits.” I just want to walk around with the same features that come standard on any kangaroo.

    Since humans lack such pouches biologically, we have to sew them onto things like sweatshirts, full-zip sweatshirts and even half-zip sweatshirts. It’s a diverse line of clothing, but really one that can only be deployed when the weather gets cool.

    When that coolness does arrive, we gain the ability to not only keep our hands warm in a stylish manner, but also have another option for carrying around all of the things necessary for living in the 21st century:

    Look how comfortable the fine young man on the left is with his hands snugly in those pockets. He is so at peace in this fall paradise, he can barely stay awake.

    On the right, you have a guy who is ready to tackle whatever the day may bring. Ignore that the picture is slightly obscured by the effects of the sun. In his left hand, a wallet (necessary for paying for things and such) and ultra-trendy sunglasses that could help mute the effects of the aforementioned sun. In his right hand, a device sure to impress the many people he is bound to encounter on the streets — a well-used Rubik’s Cube.

    Try carrying all of that in a t-shirt.

    So the question becomes, why can’t we have pouches incorporated into our summer attire? I think we could all get behind t-shirts with hand pockets.

    By cjhannas fashion Uncategorized
  • 21 Oct

    Read Like It’s 2009

    Yesterday was all about catching up with posts from this year.

    Today I’ll follow up with the best 9 posts of 2009. Like yesterday, these are in chronological order, not ranked by merit:

    Door-othy We’re Not in Kansas Anymore
    A debate erupts on the merits of opening car doors for female companions.

    Taylor Swift: Pregnant and Confused?
    I start a rumor about my nemesis, Taylor Swift, with some help from The Washington Post.

    The Smell of Cheap Living
    A poor choice (in hindsight) at the grocery store takes me back to a time of very cheap living. (Note: I will never ever under any circumstances buy these things again).

    Peace Out
    I react to the negative uproar that follows President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize win.

    In Defense of Sweatpants
    A Newsweek article grinds my gears on the topic of men wearing sweatpants in public.

    But the Hat Came Back
    A key piece of my winter wardrobe comes back into my life, years after it was stolen by a swift, crafty blonde.

    All I’m Askin’ is Please, Forgive Me
    Music triggers a round of neighborhood carpool nostalgia.

    Creative Confusion
    Making use of elementary school artwork, and my horrendous handwriting gets me in trouble.

    Do It Yourself Ping Pong
    You never made your own ping pong paddle? Well we did.

    I do not plan retrospectives for the other years in the archives, though there is some good material in there. Solid new stuff coming soon — stay tuned.

  • 18 Aug

    Timber-Land

    In journalism classes, we learned there are very rare occasions when you can start a story with a quote. I do not remember any guidance on starting with a picture, but in all fairness, that was long before the explosion of the blogosphere.

    The picture is of one of the shoes I wore to work last night. That might not seem that consequential in itself, but they may be the oldest shoes in my vast footwear collection.

    Back in roughly 2000, every male I knew had a pair of shoes like these — some sort of dull brown leather with black soles. They said, “Hey, I’m a little nicer than running shoes, but I’m also no dress shoe.” Apparently that was the message to send with your footwear at the time.

    I got mine at Galyan’s, where I worked in the shoe department. With the Timberlands being on sale and an employee discount at my disposal, this has to be the best value in my collection as well. I don’t think I paid more than $30, and we are at 10 years and counting.

    I remember at first being concerned about the little scuffs that developed on the front of the shoes. But then I realized I’m clumsy and accepted the scuffs as a fact of my footwear life.

  • 30 Sep

    In Defense of Sweatpants

    If you read a lot, you’ll undoubtedly come across sentences with which you disagree and even some that make you downright angry.

    But it takes a truly outlandish idea to make you fume over an article, and a particularly needling writer to open that article with a perfectly offensive sentence.

    From this week’s issue of Newsweek, I present the following: “There is nothing wrong with a man owning a pair of sweatpants, but there is something very wrong with a man wearing them in public.”

    I almost don’t know where to begin disagreeing with that sentence, but I’ll try.

    First, every man should own sweatpants (or something equally casual, possibly made of nylon). The writer’s problem with those pants being worn in public goes against a lot of what we should be aspiring towards as a culture.

    When I’m hungry and want to go to Taco Bell, I shouldn’t feel compelled to take a shower, slather on cologne and don a three-piece Armani suit. I’m going to flipping Taco Bell. The signs on the door say “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service.” My only responsibility is to fulfill the basic requirements–wearing some form of shirt and shoes.

    If Taco Bell doesn’t even mention pants on their sign of basic customer clothing, why should it matter what sort of pants I am wearing? I mean, sweatpants are delightfully comfortable. Shouldn’t we live in a world where people can be comfortable?

    How often do you see someone who is clearly trying too hard to impress with their dress? How often do we embrace fictional characters who eschew societal norms and succeed by “being themselves”? If you are a sweatpants person, who’s to say you should have to conform to what other people want to see in public? When you’re considering going outside, your thought should not be about dressing a certain way just so everyone else will have “nice” things to look at.

    If you want to see someone dressed to the nines, do it yourself and look in the mirror. There’s no need to push your visions of fashion perfection on someone who wants to be comfortable and doesn’t feel the need to try to impress you.

    During the summer months it seems perfectly acceptable for people to wear all types of shorts. So why should taking the same basic concept and adapting it for colder weather be any different? Not to mention the obvious double standard explicit in the article’s lead sentence–that men should not wear sweats in public. How would it be more acceptable for women to wear sweats? Aren’t females typically considered to be held to a higher fashion standard than men?

    Then again, I welcome and encourage everyone to wear sweats–I’m all for equal-opportunity comfort. The bottom line, sweats are sweet.

  • 25 Aug

    But the Hat Came Back

    I got a text message today basically saying, “Come get your crap.”

    OK, it wasn’t quite like that. My parents have been doing a lot of work on their house this year, which has led to a lot of cleaning out of rooms and closets.

    Those areas have quite a bit of random items left behind by me and my siblings during our various moves over the years. Fortunately I only had a TV and a winter hat to pick up. Oh and Mom made me dinner, so I can’t complain too much.

    I’m actually quite happy to have the hat back. It’s a sweet New York Giants hat I got somewhere around the 7th or 8th grade. I didn’t exactly need one when I lived in Florida, so I guess it was easily overlooked when I was packing up to leave.

    Here it is after its long journey (roughly 5 miles) to my current abode:

    My most vivid memories of this hat are from my time running track my freshman year of high school. The winter track season was my first–and only–appearance on a school team. Though we competed indoors, the practices were all outside, thus necessitating having a sweet winter hat on hand.

    Of course, it was only useful to have that hat when it actually stayed on your own head. As a sprinter, I spent 99 percent of my time running on the track while the distance runners went out into the surrounding neighborhoods for their workouts. There was one day I was finishing stretching as the distance kids were heading out for their run. I was facing the fence with my back to the track when a hand snatched the hat from my head. I barely had enough time to turn around by the time I saw my hat on top of a much shorter person’s head, with a few inches of blond hair sticking out the bottom.

    I had a decision to make–expend some effort to get it back, or just risk some potentially cold ears. The hat went for a 5-mile run without me. I don’t remember how my ears fared all exposed to the cold, but I do recall being somewhat bitter when the hat and its thief finally returned. Her name is being withheld for her own protection.

    Nobody likes a hat thief.

  • 16 Jun

    Ted is not an Impressive Man

    People need to make up their minds about simple things. There should not be any agonizing over potential ice cream flavor choices or the route to take to work. Just pick one, live with it and move on with life.

    One such decision I thought had been made throughout society was a big emphatic NO, oh for the love of Pete No to the men’s capri pant. I remember seeing them in an Old Navy commercial a few years ago and thinking that was the dumbest thing I’d ever seen.

    Fortunately, even though they were featured by Old Navy, the men’s capri didn’t become an international phenomenon. Or so I thought.

    A few days ago I was staring out into the hallway in the mall doing some high-quality people watching. Usually this is only marginal people watching since the subjects are often moving by very quickly, but occasionally you get some good entertainment.

    And then I saw him. A man wearing not only capri pants, but capri jeans with a t-shirt and sandals. Granted, it was slightly cooler that day compared with the near 100-degrees we had hit a few days earlier. But I found myself not able to make an excuse for someone who can’t make a simple decision–pants or shorts.

    Pick one.

    Thinking this encounter was an anomaly, or perhaps the work of someone who is not native to the US and has been brainwashed by Old Navy commercials during Friends reruns, I settled back into life. But then this morning I saw a bit on the Today Show with some sort of men’s fashion dealio. I’m still not sure what they were doing, but I do know that I saw a man wearing plaid capri pants and not punching himself in the face as he should have been.

    This capri condemnation is not limited to men. The wannabe pants should be banned altogether. Force people to make that oh-so-tough call in the morning to rock the shorts and stick with the pants. It’s just not that hard. Not a sermon, just a thought.

    By cjhannas fashion mall Uncategorized
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