McDonald’s

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  • 23 May

    Fast Food Faces

    McDonald’s brought back the Hamburglar, and KFC is reintroducing Colonel Sanders into its advertising, leaving one clear move in the fast food realm: the return of the Taco Bell dog.

    Between 1997 and 2000, a Chihuahua named Gidget graced our TV screens in numerous commercials designed to make us say, “Yo quiero Taco Bell.”  It was during this time that my connection with the hallowed food franchise solidified into what has been the greatest relationship I will ever have.

    How big of a role did the dog play?  It’s hard to say.  I could not quiero Taco Bell any more, that’s for sure.  In fact, at this moment I’m counting down the hours until I go there for dinner.

    All I ask is that they do their best to bring back the dog in a form that is the opposite of what McDonald’s has done with the Hamburglar.  What was once a fun little cartoon villain is now what can only be described as creepy.

    McD’s is after me (apparently, so is my wife)! Tweet #RobbleRobble to keep them off my trail. https://t.co/JBVThrmHir

    — McDonald’s (@McDonalds) May 12, 2015

    Although I will say the new campaign taught me that his catchphrase is “robble, robble” and not “rubble, rubble” as I had previously thought.  So there’s that.

    After we get the Taco Bell dog back, we need to McDonald’s to up their game with a new Grimace too.

    By cjhannas McDonald's Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • 16 Nov

    Precious Medals

    One of the great feelings after finishing a marathon or half marathon is going through the food area just past the finishing line and finding all kinds of delicious things to stuff in your starving face.

    But before you get there, there’s a person handing out medals to all the finishers, something you can dangle around your neck to show everyone you survived the ordeal.  Some of them are pretty cool looking, others are a little lame, but I put them on display just the same.

    I was shocked to read in the latest issue of Runner’s World that according to respondents in their poll, only 29 percent kept their finisher’s medals, and just 16 percent held onto age group and other awards. (For those who aren’t familiar, races often give prizes to the overall winners as well as to the top finisher’s in sub-categories like Men Age 20-24.)

    Now I’m not wearing my medals around to social events, but I certainly would never just throw them away.  I keep them on top of my dresser, right next to my running watches and keys where I’ll see them before every time I go out for a run.

    My collection is pretty varied.  In the back, there’s a trophy showing that in 2006 I came in first place in my age group in a 5K.  I especially like that one as a sign of humility since that was by far my worst 5K time ever, and I only came in first place because I was the only one in my age group who entered the race.

    That same year I was on a little bit of a quest to win more age group awards, so I tried to cherry-pick smaller races where my chances might be a little better.  Didn’t quite work out as I planned, but I do have a nice 3rd place medal from the Vienna Elementary 5K.

    The rest are more legitimate — 2nd place in my age group from the much more contested Herndon Festival 5K (a personal best at the time), then the string of medals from my five half marathons and one full marathon.

    By far the coolest one is from the 26.2 with Donna Half Marathon — not confusing at all — which I did in 2009 just weeks after returning to running from a stress fracture.  It’s the one in the middle here:

    My newest one is on the right.  I’m not going to lie, it’s the ugliest one, but then again the race was sponsored by McDonald’s so I’m not sure we should expect more.

    By cjhannas McDonald's running Uncategorized
  • 22 Sep

    Salt on the Side

    While many fast food places are really particular about giving out extras like forks or ketchup, McDonald’s is apparently very conscious about salt.

    Before today I would have offered up their fries as an example that they are in no way concerned about the amount of salt they hand through the drive-thru window, but that was then.  Now I know better.

    As I counted down the seconds remaining until my weekend this morning at work, all I could think about was how hungry I was and how much I wanted to solve that problem by downing a couple of Egg McMuffins.  This is actually a very convenient thought to have at such a time since there’s a McDonald’s on my way home.

    I pulled into the drive-thru, ordered my two Egg McMuffins and nothing more.  After paying at the first window, the nice woman inside handed me back my credit card and receipt, which looks like this:

    I don’t remember ordering the salt packet, but I’m glad they are so concerned about inventory that their computer system actually has an entry for “Salt Packet.”  And that it has no cost.

    When I got home and opened the bag, I found two Egg McMuffins, and three napkins (why aren’t they are the receipt?), but no salt.  Maybe I should go back and get a refund.

    By cjhannas food McDonald's Uncategorized
  • 28 Jul

    Can We Go to the Shopping Center?

    Four kids and a babysitter walk into a shopping center.

    That’s not the start of a joke, but rather a scene that tells you it’s 2009 and not 1994.

    I saw the group the other day while in a drive-thru line at Taco Bell. The shopping center is a few miles south of my parents’ house–which has another shopping center about a mile to the north.

    The kids looked like they were all in elementary school, maybe one of them in middle school. The chaperon was clearly leading the way on their midday, summer-vacation sojourn.

    I couldn’t help but to think back to my elementary school days. It was then that a shopping center sprang up out of a former strawberry farm, bringing exciting things like a McDonald’s so close to our house. It wasn’t long before me and my three siblings were planning Saturday trips for pawing through the Salvation Army store or scoring a meal at the long-defunct–but tasty–Tippy’s Tacos.

    All we needed was permission to go. Today, there are probably few parents who would let their four kids walk or ride their bikes to a place so full of strangers; a trip that would have them gone for several hours. We didn’t even have cell phones to keep track of us.

    And yet, our parents let us go. During summer vacation, we could go all the time. I’ll never forget learning the lesson of thinking about your mode of transportation before making a purchase I picked up when I acquired a giant red plastic bat from the Salvation Army. It’s the kind that usually comes with a big plastic ball and is designed for 5-year-olds just learning how to swing. But at only 25 cents, how I could I pass it up? So I made the entire bike ride back home balancing the big red bat over my handlebars, glad that I hadn’t followed my instinct to buy two of them.

    There was the time I went on my rollerblades, only to have a pretty awful spill in the gravel just in front of our neighborhood. Not even halfway to the shopping center, I decided to go ahead with the trip to McDonald’s. Fortunately they had a nice bathroom where I could examine my injuries and pick the gravel out of my arm before scarfing down a Big Mac.

    On the last day of school in 6th grade, a group of my friends from the neighborhood thought it would be fun to go hang out at Chuck E. Cheese. That’s the day we learned they don’t let unaccompanied minors hang out at Chuck E. Cheese. A lame policy if you ask me.

    My little brother, Pat, and his friend, also Pat, had their bikes stolen at the shopping center once. But out of hundreds of combined trips, that’s the only negative thing that ever happened.

    You might think this is a different time, and in a way it is. I think we are more aware of what is around us, but that doesn’t mean those same potentially dangerous elements weren’t in our society 15 years ago. What is here is a level of caution that doesn’t let kids be more than 10 feet from their parents. While that may be “safer,” there are certain lessons you can learn and experiences you can only have when your dad says you and your brother can go to the shopping center.

    By cjhannas family McDonald's nostalgia Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • 27 Sep

    Lost Heroes of Yesteryear

    We all have heroes. For some it’s their parents, while for others it’s firefighters, soldiers, or the guy who invented Cheez Whiz.

    I always liked Ronald McDonald.

    Here’s a guy who remains joyful and happy all the time while maintaining a trim physique on a diet that should very well have killed him long ago. Not that I blame him.

    Sure it’s possible he goes home a few times a week and whips up some low-fat chicken parmesan, but you know the rest of the time he’s pounding down a combination of Big Macs, Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese and chasing everything with a sundae and an M&Ms McFlurry. Again, not that I blame him.

    But recently Ronald has come under some suspicion. Like many heroes, there became just too many questions that remained unanswered. We’d like to look past these things, since after all our heroes remind us of an idyllic world in which everything is perfect and nobody acts unethically. Sometimes, though, the evidence is just too much to ignore.

    Look at Barry Bonds, a guy whose poster I proudly put on my wall 10 years ago. Now, I don’t even pay attention to the “milestones” he accomplishes, though I’ll be the first one to say he’s never been convicted of anything. That’s what happens when speculation overcomes heroics.

    For Bonds it was steroids. For the Cheese Whiz guy, it was the sex scandal. For Ronald McDonald, it’s Grimace.

    Grimace is a close second as my favorite member of McDonaldLand. He’s squishy, he’s purple and he loves milkshakes. I love milkshakes too.

    But to Ronald, Grimace signified the end of his empire. As people became more health conscious, Ronald became more paranoid. Here he is appearing in commercials with a fat guy who brags about sucking down McDonalds products. He sends America the message that eating at McDonalds makes you chubby and purple, or in the case of the Hamburglar, leaves you addicted to the food and turning to a life of crime in order to satisfy your fix.

    It’s no wonder you don’t see Grimace on TV anymore. They probably dumped his body in Lake Michigan, right next to the Fry Guys whose only crime was having their growth stunted so badly that Ronald feared a link between fries and dwarfism.

    It’s times like these that a great democracy is tested. Do we stand by and let these atrocities happen, or do we find those responsible and hold them accountable?

    Next time you go to McDonalds, ask them what happened to Grimace. Their silence, or their insistence that they don’t understand what you’re talking about, is all the evidence you need.

    Here’s to Grimace, a true hero who won’t be forgotten.

    By cjhannas McDonald's Uncategorized
  • 19 May

    It’s All Becoming So Clear

    So it’s been a while, but nothing overly exciting. Finished the school part of school, just been waiting for the graduation part. Took a little detour to the beach where I saw a beached 35-ton whale that had been dead for weeks rotting in the sand. Yeah that smelled like microwaved death. Also came out of a McDonald’s and saw two seagulls…um…”wrestling” on top of the ice cream place next door.

    But that’s not important.

    I’ve also spent the last few days going through some boxes of papers and artwork from elementary school. My mother kept just about everything there was from those days, and I’m trying to get all that cut down to the really interesting or really bizarre stuff.

    So far, there has been a recurring theme. Who I was in 1st grade is not all that different from 2nd grade, 3rd grade or 4th grade, and even now. In my box from 3rd grade (that was Ms. Stellabotte for those of you scoring at home), there was a stack of birthday cards — one from each person in the class. Now it wasn’t reallllllly my birthday since that comes in the summer, but May 3rd was close enough for me and I appreciate not being left out.

    Apparently the class was able to write whatever they wanted and decorate the card however they pleased. Some drew airplanes, others just wrote “Happy Birthday!” (or some spelling that let me know that’s at least what they meant). But two of the messages really stuck out as right on the money. One had a picture of a spaceship, and underneath it says “Aliens from outer space, and Chris your [sic] one.” Sounds about right. Another is a little more direct, “Chris you are a very different boy from the rest.” Why thank you.

    There’s a poster from Kindergarten where I was apparently the “Star of the Day!!!” On the poster, there are messages like “You are nice,” “You are Funny,” and my personal favorite, “I like to go to the cafeteria with you.” Apparently I was a good lunch date back then. Some girl also apparently liked to use the computer with me. Not sure what that means.

    Two things I noticed haven’t changed a bit since then–my handwriting and my artistic ability. I really should have just stopped in 2nd grade. Neither one of those things improved measurably after that. Thank God for the advent of computers.

    By cjhannas beach McDonald's nostalgia Uncategorized
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