It’s slightly possible that I have too much time on my hands. Actually, they may have been the case for a long time.

As evidenced by this 2006 entry, sometimes I find a spot in my schedule to email a large corporation about a slightly less-than-egregious wrong on their part. In the former case, it was my beloved Taco Bell that failed to give my friend the correct sauce for his meal several trips in a row.

Now, it’s the ice cream standards at Harris Teeter.

Let my message to their online comment system explain the situation:

“Dear Harris Teeter Persons,

I recently purchased some Harris Teeter All Natural Ice Cream labeled as containing ‘Vanilla Fudge Swirl.’ Upon opening the container, I was surprised at how little of the fudge portion was present. Is there a set percentage at which you can call a product ‘Vanilla Fudge Swirl?’ I expected a consistent thick ribbon as shown on the front of the carton. Please advise.”

To more completely understand the outlandish nature of labeling this ice cream as “Vanilla Fudge Swirl” I offer the following pictures: The box, and its contents.

Unfortunately, the fine people at the Harris Teeter customer service department didn’t quite take the bait in an extremely entertaining way as I had hoped. Instead they apologized for the problems I was having with their product and said I could return it with a receipt for a replacement.

I guess we’ll never know what level of fudge is required to call something “Vanilla Fudge Swirl.”