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  • 19 Nov

    Tripod Permits and Metro Smirks

    Back in 2006, I was stopped by U.S. Capitol Police while trying to shoot a reporter standup on the Capitol grounds.

    Apparently I needed a permit to use a tripod, which I definitely did not have. If you haven’t heard the full story, check out this post, which has the details of what ended up being “one of those days.”

    For a long time I was under the assumption the tripod permit was a completely made-up thing. In fact, the day I was on the Hill, the officers pointed me to an area where I could do my standup without the magic permit…except when I got to that area, the officers there had no idea what I was talking about.

    So imagine my surprise this week when I told that story to a co-worker, and learned that at roughly the same point in time she actually had a Capitol tripod permit. That was like learning someone had made it to the end of a rainbow and found a pot of gold.

    But I did take solace when she said that even with the permit, the officers weren’t totally clear on where she could use the tripod.

    For those who weren’t reading the blog back in 2006, here are two related bonus links:

    More questions from Capitol Police

    Another tripod permit run-in

    A quick tripod-less story from this morning:

    I was riding the Metro home from work, and a 20-something girl with an iPod got on the train. I wrote back in August that I feel strange listening to comical things on my iPod while riding the normally silent Metro. People look at you like you’re some kind of social outcast while you try to contain your laughter.

    The girl this morning was fighting the same battle, and clearly losing. It’s worse when you have to stand, and are thus within everyone’s sight. She tried all the techniques for diffusing the situation, including putting her hand over her mouth, looking up at the roof of the train to try to hide her face, and the ever-effective staring at the floor and (I assume) thinking about un-funny things.

    She could not have been happier to see a seat open up. At least then she only had to worry about the odd looks from the person sitting next to her.

    By cjhannas metro tripod Uncategorized
  • 16 Nov

    Mad Mad World

    I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right, it has been a while since I wrote about someone else’s child.

    Fortunately for you, I was down in Raleigh last weekend to meet the newest addition to our family — my brother’s daughter Madelyn. Some people have asked for details I was previously unable to provide, but since I have now held the child (and received an informative birth announcement in the mail) I can share that she was 7 pounds, 5 ounces at birth with a length of 20 inches.

    She is bigger now and also a big fan of the calming presence of Uncle Chris. Actually, I can’t totally say that since she has two of them and I can’t speak for the effects of the other one. Our time together unfolded a little like a scene from last week’s episode of The Office, just with a little less pepperoni pizza involved:

    Alright, it actually looked more like this:

    Her parents have charged me with teaching her about manners, baseball, fireworks and building fires, though not necessarily all at once.

    Time to start working on my curriculum.

  • 12 Nov

    Star-Cross’d Story

    People on the Metro are passively nosy, which is perfectly acceptable given the confined space and general boring nature of sitting in a rail car.

    But sometimes I wish there were a way to announce to everyone you are open to clearing up any misconceptions they may have formed about you. Never was that more true than the past two weeks, as I sat on the train reading a bright yellow book with the words “Juliet, Naked” emblazoned across the front.

    The book is the latest by Nick Hornby, and the title is actually quite PG — a clever play on the title of an album from one of the main characters. I think I may have dog-eared a record number of pages, including the first ever double-dog-ear. I actually had to stop and think about how best to accomplish that feat and settled on doing the top of one side of the page and the bottom of the other side.

    Hornby’s strength is in the way his characters interact, and being able to have them push the story along both by themselves and in their collective interaction. This story is no different, as two sets of people on two continents play out somewhat parallel situations. They include an aging musician, his die-hard fan and the fan’s “girlfriend.” The girl exists, it’s just that their situation is hard to define.

    Three quick notes before I get into what I think will be more substantive points:

    1. In one scene the girl, Annie, is sitting at the kitchen table reading The Guardian. If you’ve never read it, you’re missing out on one of the better newspapers out there.

    2. She works at a local museum that is putting on a retrospective exhibit about the town in 1964. Someone sends them a picture “with a little girl standing next to a Punch and Judy booth.” A month ago I would have no idea what that meant, but thanks to the last book I read, I actually knew what they were talking about.

    3. The musician, Tucker, is getting set to host a daughter he has never met and went to the store to get some food. As a former hot dog addict, I appreciated his grocery store train of thought: “The trouble was that even young female carnivores wouldn’t eat red meat. Well, hot dogs were pinky orange. Did pinky orange count as red? He was pretty sure the strange hue was chemical rather than sanguine. Vegeterians could eat chemicals, right?”

    When I say that the fan, Duncan, is a fan of Tucker’s work, that’s really an understatement. Tucker’s work defines Duncan’s life. A large part of Duncan’s everyday routine revolves around a website for Tucker fans, even though Tucker hasn’t made any new music in 20 years. They discuss every aspect of the music, but in true modern fashion also delve into Tucker’s personal life. Since Tucker hasn’t been seen in public since disappearing from the music scene, most of the information is complete conjecture.

    While considering what he perceives as an intrusion into his life, Tucker thinks to himself, “If you wanted to get into people’s living rooms, could you then object if they wanted to get into yours?”

    That is, if your goal is to get famous and have your work become a part of people’s lives, can you expect them to accept that as a one-way transaction? If you’re a Kardashian, and you have a television show that purports to follow your real life, can you get mad if someone takes a picture of you at the grocery store?

    I’m all for respecting people’s privacy — it’s really none of my business what the Kardashians are eating for breakfast. But when you voluntarily break down that wall and define your public interaction in that way, it’s hard to adequately discern exactly where the line should be.

    Later, Duncan talks about Tucker’s musical contributions and says he doesn’t think Tucker really appreciates his own work. “I don’t think people with talent necessarily value it,” he says, “because it all comes so easy to them, and we never value things that come easy to us.”

    How many people do you know who downplay what are clearly great talents? They may not be composing a Beethoven-esque concerto, but you think, “If only they did something with ____.” In a world where the Kardashians are famous for…whatever they are famous for, maybe we need to recalibrate the way we recognize and develop talent.

    Two quick final items:

    At one point Duncan is having a bit of a life crisis and wants to “try to grab the steering wheel back from the maniac who seemed to be driving his life.”

    Without revealing any plot points, page 395 holds further proof that women are crazy.

    For those scoring at home, this is book No. 15 of the year. As in years past, aiming for the 20 range, but not sure that’s in the cards for 2010.

    By cjhannas books metro Uncategorized
  • 05 Nov

    Shaping Up

    A year ago this weekend I ran the fastest half marathon of my life. Three years ago I ran a marathon.

    Today I ran two miles and then had to walk two miles home. The whole point of the run was to push the tempo and wear myself out (I can run 8 miles at an easy pace), but it’s still safe to say that I’m not in ideal shape at the moment.

    My fitness level isn’t exactly a new revelation, but after today’s run I did get a different perspective on what I’m going to do about it.

    A few weeks after running the half marathon last year (a 1:43:08 in Raleigh, NC), I was starting to ramp up my mileage to train for a full marathon when I came down with a stress fracture in my right foot. Being the genius that I am, I ignored what to most would be conventional wisdom and ran a 5K with the injury. It was my fastest 5K ever (20:24), but definitely not worth the pain that followed.

    I sat on the couch for nearly eight weeks while the foot healed and went from being in the best shape of my life with great fitness habits and a sense of momentum to being completely and utterly lazy. Unfortunately, nothing about the rest of this year has shaken that attitude (the ridiculously hot summer did not help).

    What worked last year was running a half marathon in the early spring, transitioning to 5Ks through early summer and then focusing again on the half for the fall.

    A few weeks ago I officially canceled plans to run a half this fall (see fitness, lack of, above) and decided I needed to follow last year’s playbook to get things back on track: Run a 5K at the end of this month, and use that as a springboard to getting in half shape for a late-winter race.

    But walking home after failing in today’s run I realized I have been thinking about the wrong plan. I’m not in spring 2009 shape, but rather more like where I was in the fall of 2008.

    I had just moved back from Florida where a combination of sleep deprivation and a lack of race motivation meant that I could barely run four miles at a time before being absolutely exhausted. That laziness can in some way be traced to the foot injury I battled all through 2007, which caused me to not run at all the prior winter (’07/’08).

    See a pattern? Foot injury + healing time + slow return to running + lack of good habits = out of shape autumn. That’s how it was in the fall of 2008, and only today did that click in my head.

    So now it’s time to look at what I did that fall that got me in good shape for the spring of 2009 and all the success that followed. Good thing I kept a log of all of my runs.

    High-five to 2008 self.

    By cjhannas running Uncategorized
  • 04 Nov

    Rent-A-Pet

    You come across some interesting things working overnight shifts. And by interesting I mean weird.

    Last night we confirmed that no matter what kind of crazy idea follows the question, “I wonder if there’s a…” there is someone out there ready to sell it to you.

    Case in point: Flexpetz. Sorry, FLEXPETZ, according to the website.

    We were talking about dogs, and one of my co-workers said she wanted some kind of small yapper-type dog (my description, not hers). I think it was a Pomeranian. She said she wasn’t ready to get a dog, and that I should get one instead. Under my current lease agreement, that would require some effort on my part and I believe some sort of extra monthly fee.

    So the question became, for those who can’t or choose not to have a pet in their home, is there a service that rents dogs? On the surface it sounds great — play with the dog, enjoy it short term and don’t shoulder any real responsibility.


    My brother’s dog, Matics. Not available for rent.

    That’s where FLEXPETZ comes in. They will basically rent you your choice of dog for a few hours or a even for a number of days. Like any good rental service (hello, Netflix) they even offer delivery.

    Of course, there’s a fee for that. And for 17 other things with this service.

    Delivery? $25. Daily rental fee (minimum 4/month)? $45. Monthly membership? $99. Then there’s the $150 initial training/orientation session and a $99 annual administration fee. Oh, and don’t you dare return the dog late. That will run you another $75 per day.

    So if you are responsible and can return a dog on time, a year of worry-free pet time can be yours for the low low price of $3597.

    I guess you could just volunteer at an animal shelter or get a friend who has a dog. But a “rental” dog is a much better conversation pet.

  • 30 Oct

    Talking Retro

    I always enjoy when people recommend books to me, but for some reason it always takes me forever to get around to reading those titles.

    Ralph Keyes’ “I Love It When You Talk Retro” is a prime example. My friend Jaclyn turned me onto it, probably a year ago, but I just now found time for it in my reading schedule.

    It’s not like I was dubious about the recommendation since she has told me about several other books that I thoroughly enjoyed. I guess we can just say my procrastination abilities are quite strong.

    The book is all about retroterms — those words that refer to a “person, a product, a past bestseller, an old radio or TV show, an athletic contest, a comic strip, an acronym, or an advertisement long forgotten.” In short, something in the past gave us a word we still use today even though few remember the original inspiration for the term.

    Take “dufus” (or doofus) for example. You’ve called someone a doofus at some point in your life. Probably today. You probably don’t know that — according to Keyes — Dufus was the name of Popeye’s dimwitted nephew. Who knew a spinach-loving sailor could give us such a great word?

    You have also undoubtedly walked towards a car and yelled “shotgun.” We know what that means in terms of who gets to sit where in the car (regional/personal rules not withstanding), but why do we use the term?

    Keyes says stagecoaches were at risk of Indian attacks, “therefore many companies employed a security guard who sat next to the driver on an elevated perch outside the wagon, shotgun at the ready.” The guard was known as “the shotgun.” So next time you’re sitting in that seat, be ready to repel an Indian attack.

    With my apologies for getting the song stuck in your head, anyone who has seen the Showtime show “Weeds” is familiar with the term “ticky tacky.” It comes from the 1962 Malvina Reynolds song “Little Boxes” and in terms of the show, perfectly captures the rows upon rows of identical houses filled with people who seem perfectly alike. As Keyes says, ticky tacky “has been our preferred catchphrase for uniform homes and those thought to live in them.”

    Other than giving us the idea of “drinking the Kool-Aid,” “Jonestown” is used as a way to describe cultlike experiences. In many of the entries, Keyes gives a contemporary example of the word’s usage in a newspaper, TV show, book or magazine. For Jonestown, he describes how it is used by a character in Nick Hornby’s “How to be Good,” which happens to be one of the better books I have read in the past few years.

    Keyes also talks about using “breadbox” as a comparative measurement rather than an actual place to store bread. While I have never heard anyone say something is “as big as a breadbox,” the term did bring to mind a tangentially interesting point about the habits we inherit from our parents.

    Not long ago I was talking to my mom about something and the topic of having bugs in your house came up. Back in the day, she lived in an apartment that had a bug problem (roaches?), which led her to start storing her bread in the refrigerator. I have always put my bread in the fridge, but only because that’s the way we did it when I was growing up. Good to learn there was an actual reason, even if the original issue is long forgotten.

    By cjhannas books Uncategorized
  • 30 Oct

    Embrace Your Inner Kangaroo

    People love fall for lots of reasons — leaves changing color, pumpkin spice lattes, Halloween parties, an extra hour of sleep, Thanksgiving.

    But for me, it’s all about the return to my wardrobe of shirts with pouches on the front. I could care less about those other “benefits.” I just want to walk around with the same features that come standard on any kangaroo.

    Since humans lack such pouches biologically, we have to sew them onto things like sweatshirts, full-zip sweatshirts and even half-zip sweatshirts. It’s a diverse line of clothing, but really one that can only be deployed when the weather gets cool.

    When that coolness does arrive, we gain the ability to not only keep our hands warm in a stylish manner, but also have another option for carrying around all of the things necessary for living in the 21st century:

    Look how comfortable the fine young man on the left is with his hands snugly in those pockets. He is so at peace in this fall paradise, he can barely stay awake.

    On the right, you have a guy who is ready to tackle whatever the day may bring. Ignore that the picture is slightly obscured by the effects of the sun. In his left hand, a wallet (necessary for paying for things and such) and ultra-trendy sunglasses that could help mute the effects of the aforementioned sun. In his right hand, a device sure to impress the many people he is bound to encounter on the streets — a well-used Rubik’s Cube.

    Try carrying all of that in a t-shirt.

    So the question becomes, why can’t we have pouches incorporated into our summer attire? I think we could all get behind t-shirts with hand pockets.

    By cjhannas fashion Uncategorized
  • 21 Oct

    Read Like It’s 2009

    Yesterday was all about catching up with posts from this year.

    Today I’ll follow up with the best 9 posts of 2009. Like yesterday, these are in chronological order, not ranked by merit:

    Door-othy We’re Not in Kansas Anymore
    A debate erupts on the merits of opening car doors for female companions.

    Taylor Swift: Pregnant and Confused?
    I start a rumor about my nemesis, Taylor Swift, with some help from The Washington Post.

    The Smell of Cheap Living
    A poor choice (in hindsight) at the grocery store takes me back to a time of very cheap living. (Note: I will never ever under any circumstances buy these things again).

    Peace Out
    I react to the negative uproar that follows President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize win.

    In Defense of Sweatpants
    A Newsweek article grinds my gears on the topic of men wearing sweatpants in public.

    But the Hat Came Back
    A key piece of my winter wardrobe comes back into my life, years after it was stolen by a swift, crafty blonde.

    All I’m Askin’ is Please, Forgive Me
    Music triggers a round of neighborhood carpool nostalgia.

    Creative Confusion
    Making use of elementary school artwork, and my horrendous handwriting gets me in trouble.

    Do It Yourself Ping Pong
    You never made your own ping pong paddle? Well we did.

    I do not plan retrospectives for the other years in the archives, though there is some good material in there. Solid new stuff coming soon — stay tuned.

  • 20 Oct

    Catching Up

    I just noticed a woeful number of postings for this month, and I really don’t have an excuse for not writing.

    So to break the streak, I bring you what could be a useful collection of stories for those just finding the blog, those who started reading partway through the year or those who just want to relive some good times.

    On this 20th day of the 10th month, I bring you the 10 best posts of 2010 (skipping posts from October — those are new enough for you to find on your own):

    Oh Baby Baby
    Mom lets me know I face a deadline for producing a child. Also proof that including celebrities in your writing brings in readers (thanks, Natalie!)

    Dealies, Please
    A trip down good-eating lane with perhaps my favorite food product on Earth. The accompanying picture belongs in a museum.

    Lessons From a Little Girl

    Easily the most popular post of the year. I share a meal with a 7-year-old girl and learn more than I would have dreamed possible. This post is a bonus on the list that adds a small part to the story.

    Six Years Ago Today
    The anniversary of a special relationship. Also has pictures of bees. And a bonus link inside to a video of me solving a Rubik’s Cube.

    Tickling the (Plastic) Ivories
    Another half-baked talent that doesn’t do much for my day-to-day life — my piano skillz.

    My Regrets to the Duchess
    One hyphenated word: T-Shirt-Tank.

    Taking the Floris Elementary Stage
    My 4th grade class at Floris Elementary goes In Quest of Columbus.

    Seeing the Past
    I see an old co-worker while checking out at Target. Kind of a sad story, but I think one of the better-written posts of the year.

    So Long, Tai Shan
    Washington loses its baby panda, but you gain a look at the TV news report I did about Tai Shan while in grad school.

    Do You Like Hot Sauce?
    A simple question that was probably the most debated issue on the blog this year.

    Enjoy.

  • 14 Oct

    A Norah By Any Other Name

    Today is Thursday, which is my Friday, which means it is my weekend.

    Everyone I know in the journalism world describes their work week that way, probably because it brings some sanity and order to our normally odd schedules. Do people outside the industry talk like that? Or is it borderline crazy to hear someone ask, “Is this your Tuesday?” and find such a question completely normal?

    After work today I went on an extremely productive set of errands that included a stop at Best Buy. Since it is clearly one of the greatest stores on Earth, I usually enjoy myself there. Today was no exception, until I saw this:

    Best Buy, you apologize to Norah. You apologize right now.

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