Songza has playlists for all kinds of things – Waking Up Happy, Drinking at a Dive Bar, Every ‘90s Summer Dance Party – but really there may be nothing better than ‘00s #1 Hits for inducing YES! moments (real or sarcastic) when a new song pops up.
Songza has playlists for all kinds of things – Waking Up Happy, Drinking at a Dive Bar, Every ‘90s Summer Dance Party – but really there may be nothing better than ‘00s #1 Hits for inducing YES! moments (real or sarcastic) when a new song pops up.
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney is stepping down from his post this month, and really the move could not come soon enough. My concern isn’t about the way he has performed the job, but rather the way his son and the kid’s friends get their Slurpees at 7-Eleven.
The Carney kid and a few other offspring of White House officials are in a band, and recently put out this video:
Judge the music on your own. I want to talk about the 7-Eleven trip. It starts out perfectly fine, with a run through the aisles to pick up some snacks:
But when Lucas, son of HUD Secretary Shaun Donovan, gets to the Slurpee machine, all hell breaks loose. There’s a long-established process of extracting maximum amounts of the delicious coolness: grab a cup, put on a lid, bleed out a tiny bit of liquid, fill that motha to the max, put in a straw and enjoy. Lucas missed the key component, filling his cup without first adding the lid:
He’s on the fast track to Slurpee disappointment. You might be thinking that’s only a shot of one of the kids, and surely the others know what to do. You would be wrong:
Two of them at least went with more Bloomberg-defying sizes, but check out the lid areas. There’s not a bit of Slurpee in sight. You can’t eat all those Twinkies, chips, Twizzlers and other magicness and not have a Slurpee cup filled above the brim available to wash it all down.
While others speculate about what Carney will do next, I think the top item on his to-do list is clear. If he’s not at 7-Eleven with those four kids the next day showing them how to properly fill a Slurpee cup, then there’s clearly a parenting crisis in America. And if Mr. Carney is not prepared to take on the task himself, I am available to serve as a well-paid consultant.
I had a coincidental week, thanks to the confluence of This American Life, The Breakfast Club, Maya Angelou and The Simpsons.
Last Saturday I wanted a little background entertainment while I sat in my living room doing some writing. With nothing on TV, I turned to Netflix, which recommended I see The Breakfast Club. It’s one of those movies that I missed through the years so I figured it was as good a time as any to check it out.
Fast forward to Tuesday, when I did my weekly listening to the podcast of This American Life on my way home from work. The final act of the show? An interview with Molly Ringwold talking about watching The Breakfast Club with her daughter for the first time.
On Wednesday, we learned of the death of Maya Angelou. Over on Grantland, I read a piece by Rembert Browne that included links to a fabulous conversation between Angelou and comedian Dave Chappelle. If you have 10 minutes, watch one part.
If you have 40, watch part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4, which come from the Sundance series “Iconoclasts.”
I’ve been watching old Simpsons episodes before I go to bed the past few weeks now that most of the current shows are done for the season. What was the next episode I got to after I saw the Angelou/Chappelle videos? One called “Lisa the Iconoclast.”
What does all of this mean? Probably nothing. Maybe something if I think really hard. For now I’ll just say that it’s pretty cool when you seek out a wide range of cultural things and see how they can tie together.
Remember Oregon Trail? If you’re anywhere close to my age, this game was pretty much the greatest thing to happen to your educational experience.
I was thinking about it the other day and thanks to the Internet I was able to find a way to play. I thought I had what was a good crew when we set out, but I quickly learned that my party was not the most ready to make the grueling trip.
We have me leading the way, the perfect sidekick in Milhouse Van Houten, my roommate MkLovin, actress Anna Kendrick for her small yet entertaining ways, and traveling music courtesy of Norah Jones.
As a refresher, here’s where we’re going:
We set out on April 1 with 1,100 pounds of food and high spirits all around. But like a Real World cast that finds drama as soon as possible, it took exactly three days for our first major problem to arise:
Dammit, Milhouse! I had immediate regrets about bringing him along, but surely a broken leg isn’t the end of the world right?
DAMMIT, MILHOUSE. To recap, he broke his leg on day three and died on day four. Not a good omen. But hey, more food and clothing for the rest of us! We got back on the trail and made it across a river, only to have to stop for a day to dry out our stuff. And then…
What is going on with this journey? Are we playing tackle football around the campfire at night? Fortunately, Anna’s leg healed and we went three solid weeks before she got sick and our collective health dropped to “fair.”
Wait, a fire in the wagon? I would think Milhouse would have been capable of such stupidity, but the kid is no longer a part of this brain trust. At least all we lost was stuff and everyone is waking away healthy.
Tough getting a snakebite right before Independence Day. He might have to skip the fireworks and hang out in our charred wagon. The rest of our July was pretty quiet, except for an ox injury. Then the August of Norah Jones’ discontent began:
Typhoid Norah, huh? No worries, I think she can get through this okay and have a long, productive, happy life. Pause on Norah for a second. It seems there are criminals along the route:
Way to get away with the important stuff! Hope you enjoy those sweaty shirts. We haven’t seen a laundromat this whole time! Back to Norah:
Strong — typhoid, now a fever. What’s next, a broken bone for her, too?
Okay, okay, we’ve had a few of those on the trip already and only one of those people died. I’m optimistic she’s going to bounce back.
DAMMIT, NORAH. Are you receiving vials of disease samples from the government every time we stop? This is getting ridiculous. Maybe it would be better if you weren’t on the trip.
The game doesn’t explain the circumstances of this death, and it’s best for all if nobody asks questions. #SnitchesGetStitches. With Norah gone, we can finally move forward with the relatively healthy three of us who remain.
Come on, Anna! A second broken leg? Are you made of glass? If you’ll recall, we don’t have a great track record of treating broken legs.
I hate to say I told you so, but…I kinda told you so. Whatever. The weak links are gone, time for MkLovin and I to close out this trip.
Exhausted from what, sitting in a wagon while oxen pull you to your destination? I’m not giving you a break on this one. You need to work just as hard as the rest of the crew, aka me, until we get there.
It’s possible this journey suffers from poor leadership. I mean, I don’t want to blame myself, but all four of my traveling companions died after having stupid injuries. I guess if I’m all alone, I might as well enjoy the spoils of rationing for one.
Filling it is! With just one person in the wagon and consuming the stockpile of food at a fast rate, it took only five more days to reach our/my destination.
If only the rest of my crew could have seen such a lovely sight. Next time I’ll choose a more travel-worthy group. I wonder if The Rock is available.
Is it crazy to name your child after a German clone with an unknown, seemingly respiratory disease who gets shot through the head by a fellow clone who has been released on a mission to hunt down her “unnatural” likenesses?
In the United States, the answer is apparently, no. At least, with only data showing the number of children given each name, that’s the case.
The Social Security Administration has lists of the names people register for babies each year going back to 1880, and earlier this month put out the one for 2013. Several media organizations did stories about the trends within, most of them about the most popular names of the year. Vox broke down how the number of kids named after Game of Thrones characters rose again in 2013.
I’m going in a different television direction with the show Orphan Black, which features much more mainstream names along with a few that barely crack the list each year (the SSA files only list those names with at least five kids). The show’s main actress, the supremely talented Tatiana Maslany, plays all of the clones, which include Elizabeth, Sarah, Cosima, Helena, Alison, Rachel, Aryanna, Janika, Danielle and the subject of my first sentence, Katja.
I would not have guessed this high, but there were 22 kids named Katja last year. That marked a resurgance for the name, which hit 27 in 2004 and had dropped all the way to just 12 kids in 2012. What happened in 2013? Orphan Black premiered. Parents rushed to name their daughters Katja. (Pretend for the sake of this post that there can be absolutely no other explanation.) Janika saw a similar return to glory, while Cosima continued its steady rise.
The main male character in the show, Felix, also received a bump in its popularity, growing 13 percent over 2012. But whatever effect the show has had on the television landscape, its power in boosting names stops there. Both Helena, perhaps the best clone, and Aryanna, a name given to a shocking number of people, had essentially no growth.
Alison, another contender for top clone, saw a slight decline, while every other clone character continued the sharp drop that has been befalling them since at least 2004. Sarah’s decline saddens me the most since she is my favorite. Maybe as more people get into season 2 of the show that name will make a comeback in 2014.
I would absolutely predict a massive surge in girls named Kira, breaking the stagnant trend for that name thanks to the adorable little actress playing Sarah’s daughter. Props to anyone who names one of their twin girls Seestra.
The Washington Nationals are once again hosting a series of post-game concerts during the summer, with a lineup featuring Plain White T’s, Austin Mahone and Martina McBride.
The concert games are an extra level of fun, but for the second year in a row the artists involved aren’t exactly high on my list. My brother agrees. He sent me a chart that’s been going around the Internet in the past few weeks showing the fees certain artists get for doing shows, which of course gives me the opportunity to re-imagine what the NatsLive series could be.
First, let’s take a historical look to figure out what sort of budget the team is using. Here are the acts from 2012-2014, with the lowest end of the prices from the chart (which several articles note may be inflated):
So it seems like we’re basically working with $200,000 and three concert dates. Obviously the team wants to attract people to buy tickets to the game, and ideally wants those who otherwise wouldn’t be coming that night or perhaps not even attend a game all season. My brother and I have discussed the optimal mix of acts to achieve this goal, and we think you want a rock band that appeals to people 25-40, a country-ish artist, and some sort of up-and-comer, perhaps more on the pop side who skews younger.
With all that in mind, I threw together three lineups I think would achieve those goals within that budget:
I think 311, Incubus and Paramore would be KILLER in this concert format. The best one I’ve seen so far was Third Eye Blind, and each of those bands would easily do just as well at Nats Park, and likely better.
Of course we don’t know how much the Nats are actually spending, and there’s the huge question of availability. There are a lot of music venues in the DC area, and if you have a tour swinging through in July, you’re not cannibalizing your audience by play Nats Park in August.
That said, we can dream, right?
2014 is an election year, and in case you thought that in today’s age political parties had achieved some magical, big-data efficiency, I can assure you they continue to poorly allocate their resources.
Take for example this fine letter I received recently from the Republican National Committee, which I will point out has simply “Monday morning” as its date:
They are writing to tell me they are “saddened” to see me go, and want to know if I will continue my financial support for the party:
Here’s the problem: I’ve never given a cent to the Republican party or any other political party. But apparently losing even that non-existent level of support is really stressing out the RNC:
As part of this mailing, the RNC included an “exit interview” to get my thoughts on the direction and priorities of the party. Many of the questions assume — again, incorrectly — that I am a Republican and a financial contributor to the party. Where they really lost me, though, was with their return envelope for this survey:
I’m not putting my hard-earned stamp into improving your party. If you want my opinion, you may pay for it. Actually, scratch that. I have one very important piece of wisdom to impart about the state of this country. RNC, you may have this one for free:
Don’t do the wave at baseball games, kids.
Democrats are just as guilty of improper identification, though at least with me their misdirected efforts come in the form of email. For years I have sporadically received emails from the Democratic National Committee or President Obama’s election campaigns. This one came last month, inviting me to travel to San Francisco to meet the president:
I’ve written before about how these began as messages intended for someone named Cheryl Wilburn, a name that is close to the username for one of my email accounts. I hope Cheryl didn’t want to experience the Bay Area (after making a donation, of course).
No discussion of political miscues or general ridiculousness would be complete without some mention of the state of Florida. They apparently have record-keeping issues as well. I haven’t lived there in more than five years, and yet they want me to renew my driver’s license:
This was successfully delivered to my home in Virginia, and includes spaces to note different mailing and residential addresses. I’m not going to take the time to research whether this is a standard practice in other states, but it seems a little nutty to me to be able to have a residential address for a driver’s license in one state and a mailing address in another.
At least I can’t register to vote in Florida or anything. Wait, actually there’s a form for that in there too:
Keep up the good work, Florida.
Gillian Flynn’s “Gone Girl” is one of those books I will not be able to say much about, except that you have to read it. Just do it. It’s phenomenal.
Flynn has crafted a story with so many twists and turns that to talk about the plot at all would be criminal. When I finished, I wanted to talk about it with someone, and in this digital age I can share that exact moment:
@lb_423 YO, you’ve read Gone Girl, right? #holysmokes
— Chris Hannas (@cjhannas) May 3, 2014
Flynn writes the story with two narrators who alternate chapters, a husband who gives his side from the day the book starts and a wife who begins in the past with their first meeting and slowly catches up. I’ve always been drawn to this type of storytelling, with its inherent tension and anticipation of the payoff moment when the two timelines converge. And when they do, #holysmokes.
At its heart, the story is about relationships and the complexity that comes with each person pursuing individual and collective interests.
The wife, Amy, talks about her struggle in living her life with husband Nick, and what we’re all seeking in someone else.
“Because isn’t that the point of every relationship: to be known by someone else, to be understood?” she says. “He gets me. She gets me. Isn’t that the simple magic phrase?”
“So you suffer through the night with the perfect-on-paper man,” she continues. “…And you go home to a cold bed and think, That was fine. And your life is a long line of fine.”
I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m guessing we’ve all been in that relationship at one point or another. The “long line of fine.” It’s the type of situation that makes you wonder if you’re being too picky, if that person should be enough, or whether you’ve realized that fine is not fine.
Later describing her unhappiness, the kind that stems from misaligned priorities, Amy says, “I just wish he thought about me as much as I do him.” We all have different styles and needs, and that’s one of the great challenges of relationships, right? How do you get what you need, while at the same time giving what they need?
Flynn is supremely effective at using specific imagery to pound home certain points. Nick describes himself and the way people perceive him — a key part of the story — by saying, “I have a face you want to punch.” Eight words and you can’t help but to see that face for the rest of the book.
On a related note, it’s kind of funny that in the movie version, which comes out in October, Nick is being played by Ben Affleck. Did they even have to audition anyone else?
In summary, if you haven’t already brought up your Amazon or Barnes and Noble account, or grabbed your keys to head out to the bookstore, I question your priorities in life. Get reading!
I don’t like to claim sole credit for the actions of American media institutions, but I think I deserve some kudos for what has happened at The New York Times.
You may recall that in January I talked about the irksome way the Times revamped its homepage with 27 boxes for different sections of content, but only filled 26 of them. The bottom looked like this:
And now? To the satisfaction of those who need dollar bills pointing the same way, alphabetized bookshelves and email accounts with zero unread messages, the homepage has a full 27 boxes:
You might question how much influence I had on this issue, and I’ll give you that. My one blog post and two emails to people at the Times may not have made the difference this time.
So who can we really thank? Let’s trace this back to Nate Silver. Last summer, Silver took his stats-centered FiveThirtyEight blog from its former home at the Times to ESPN. Then in late April the newspaper announced its new section to replace Silver, called The Upshot, which found a nice landing spot in Box 27.
So thanks, Nate. And thank you, wise people at The New York Times, for giving my brain a little less to worry about in this grand world of ours.
It’s no secret I am a huge fan of The Simpsons, so when a friend alerted me that LEGO was putting out a Simpsons set, there was no question I was going to get it. That’s one of the perks of being an adult, right? Right?
This was one of those times in life when the product vastly exceeded my expectations. I never looked to see how many pieces were in this thing before I hit the “Check Out” button, so I was surprised when this giant box arrived at my door with more than 2,500 LEGOs inside.
I have to give them tremendous credit for their attention to detail with things like little hot dogs that go on the grill, or the “Property of Ned Flanders” stickers that are meant for a few items. They also get huge points for cleverly finding ways to make certain objects in the Simpson household. More than a couple of times I was following the instructions for building some small item, not sure of what it was, then hit a eureka! moment and had to laugh at the crib, kitchen sink or shower head that somehow emerged out of regular LEGO pieces.
With that many pieces, it took me several hours over two days to complete, but with the magic of time-lapse photography, you can watch it all come together in two minutes:
I used the tiny bit of battery life left in my camera after all that to take a few other shots, including what I think is the proper way to transport a baby safely with a car:
And Lil’ Lisa checking the mail (at the mailbox I only now noticed isn’t quite fully snapped together…):
I think the car is really my favorite piece. It rolls smoothly enough that it could be its own toy, and in my younger days would have already crashed against a wall and smashed into a hundred lego pieces. And that would have been awesome.
The time-lapsing was super easy to do using an app on my phone and a simple trick in Adobe Premiere, so definitely look forward to more of those in the future now that I know how.
Also, go buy yourself LEGOs! They are super fun.