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  • New & Old

    Old with the old, in with the same, but newer.

    I can definitely be a creature of habit with certain things and routines that work perfectly for me, and I see little reason to change them.

    I thought about that earlier today as I walked from a parking garage at Reston Town Center across the street to Best Buy to get a case for my new phone, which is the same as my old one but three models newer.  It struck me that three(?) years ago, I made the exact same walk for the exact purpose.  I purchased a case from the same manufacturer, and then followed the same routine of walking out the door, tossing the packaging in the trashcan outside, and proceeding back across the street to Chipotle for lunch.


    So long, old phone

    Just before the case excursion, I hit a running store in another part of the town center itself.  You may recall from social media that I just bought running shoes a few weeks ago.  That is true.  But I discovered that while those are fine for a few miles, they are not a good fit for me on longer runs.  So I went back to the drawing board and ended up trying the Nike Structure Triax, which I ran in for years before they made a redesign that made the upper hit my ankle in a very painful spot.  Fortunately they changed up the style again, bringing the midsole back closer to the ones I loved and making the upper in no way hit that part of my ankle.

    Here’s to many great miles with my old friend, and the future ability to be in and out of a running store in 3.2 seconds with the latest version in my size.

    April 17, 2015 Uncategorized
  • Chicken Nuggets For The Soul

    My night turned around because of chicken nuggets and macaroni & cheese.  Not ones I ate, but rather those that only ever existed in a mental picture from a date.

    I had trouble sleeping before work yesterday, the kind of fitful rest that involves zonking out for two hours, then waking for no reason and spending 30 minutes with my mind racing through a thousand different topics and thoughts.  Rinse and repeat.

    The last cycle had me staring at the alarm clock an hour before it was set to go off as a week of what had seemed like promising dating leads that later fizzled replayed in a way that made sleeping impossible.

    I decided that my best move was to get up and head into DC early, like I sometimes do, to enjoy a peaceful walk on the National Mall and take in the cherry blossoms at sunset.

    Those walks are awesome in the winter when no tourists and few locals are ever around.  There’s nothing but lit-up monuments and museums around, the sound of crunching gravel under my feet, stars above and the opportunity to think about nothing if I want.

    Last night was far busier, adding about 10 percent to my state of already being annoyed with life.  But after 15 minutes of snapping pictures and hanging out in a quiet spot in the warm breeze, everything flipped.

    I looked across to the Jefferson Memorial and its bright white dome against the now dark night sky.  Immediately my mind flashed back to the last time I was there at night.

    It was on a second date last summer that led us to visit the Lincoln Memorial and then take a stroll around the much quieter, post-bloom Tidal Basin.  We stopped to rest on the Jefferson steps, enjoying the serenity of the water and the reflection of the Washington Monument in front of us.  The conversation turned to our favorite foods, which obviously included the all-important optimal pizza toppings.

    Then she told me about the young boy she looked after during the day and his affinity for chicken nuggets and mac & cheese.  Those weren’t favorites he demanded be on the dinner menu once a week, but instead what he wanted to eat at each and every meal.  All the time.  She described how those mealtime conversations went:

    “So [kid’s name], what would you like?”
    “Chicken nuggets.  Mac and chese.”

    Direct.  Seeing the memorial brought back the sound of her voice and the way she said “mac and cheeese.”  It was something I hadn’t thought about since that night but made me legitimately laugh last night (thankfully in the dark so tourists didn’t think I was crazy).  And just like that, my entire mood transformed.

    I remembered that for all the frustrations and failures, I have had some really fun dating experiences, especially in those small moments like chatting on monument steps on a warm night.  I remembered how a few minutes later it started to rain and we power walked to the nearest Metro station and then laughed as we rode down the escalator, seeing the drops falling from each other’s soaked heads.

    Sometimes we take things in life too seriously and let them be harder than they should be.

    Sometimes we just need chicken nuggets and mac & cheese.

    April 13, 2015 Uncategorized
  • Goon Squad

    Pulling off a multi-narrator story in a way that is both true to each character’s voice and not jarring and confusing to the reader is one of the tougher challenges an author can take on.

    In “A Visit from the Goon Squad,” Jennifer Egan gives us a narrator, then another, and another, and another, all while shifting time periods and taking us to a different angle of the overall tale through the eyes of another character.  These chapters could easily exist on their own, but she weaves the narratives together in a way that made me on multiple occasions go, “Oh THAT guy is back!”  It should come with a “Beautiful Mind”-style chart to keep everyone straight.

    This book won a Pulitzer Prize so my endorsement is hardly going to add to the likeliness people will read it, but the interwoven story of an aging record executive, his younger self, his former band mates, his assistant, her college friends and boyfriend is, in short, delightfully written.  The people themselves are rich, complicated characters who for the most part all have problems, but in the most human of spirits, they try, even when that’s trying at being destructive to themselves and others.

    The sign of a good read for me is being so into the story that I don’t flag many pages.  This is one of those.

    And nothing I marked this time was to make a really substantive point.  The closest thing to that comes in a chapter narrated by Rhea, a young woman who likes the (then young) record exec named Benne, who himself likes another girl named Alice, who likes another from their group named Scotty, who likes another from their group named Jocelyn, who likes a then record exec who becomes Bennie’s mentor.  (That’s only a fraction of the kind of interplay at work here).

    Rhea doesn’t think a lot of herself, especially in comparison with other girls.  Oddly enough, the main thing she dislikes about her appearance is that she has freckles.

    “I look like someone threw handfuls of mud at my face,” she says.  “When I was little, my mom told me they were special.  Thank God I’ll be able to remove them, when I’m old enough and can pay for it myself.  Until that time I have my dog collar and green rinse, because how can anyone call me ‘the girl with freckles’ when my hair is green?”

    I love that last line.  A lot of us have “freckles,” that thing we see so clearly in the mirror or hear when we open our mouths.  In most cases, nobody else notices.  It’s silly, but something in our mind makes us self-conscious.  So what can we do?  Dye our hair green or compensate in some other way that makes us care less about that supposed problem.

    Speaking of what we see in the mirror, this other thing is completely random, but has been staring at me forever and certainly jumped out when I saw it on the page.  Rob narrates this chapter, and in this section talks about his close friendship with Sasha, Bennie’s later assistant.

    “You know the scar on her left ankle from a break that had to be operated on when it didn’t heal right; you know the Big Dipper of reddish moles around her belly button and her mothball breath when she first wakes up.”

    I’m missing one star (represented by the green), but have always thought there was something resembling a Big Dipper around my right collarbone and extending up onto my neck:

    Let this be the only time I take my shirt off for a blog post.  Who would have guessed it would come in a book discussion?

    April 11, 2015 books Uncategorized
  • What Are The Odds

    I wonder what random thing is going to happen to me in May.

    Yesterday, my friend Jena sent me a link to an article about how The Simpsons will no longer be putting out old seasons on discs.  That news comes after seasons 1-17 and 20 were released.  Add to those the Simpsons movie and I have an entire shelf dedicated to the folks of Springfield:

    But take a close look at the destiny here.  I don’t just have a shelf devoted to Simpsons DVDs/blu-rays, I have exactly a shelf of them.  A season 18 collection would seriously stress my organizational mind.  So while it is sad for anything Simpsons to go away, I’m not terribly heartbroken at this one.  After all, some people have it worse:

    Last month, the randomness involved dinner with a friend, Twitter and a Metro ride.

    I was in D.C. and my friend told me about a conversation she had where the other party expressed that her goals were not good enough and that she could/should be doing something different.  I told her about this line I had heard recently: “Don’t yuck someone else’s yum.”

    That came from a Nats Twitter friend I had interacted with a bunch, but never actually met in person.

    After dinner, I got on the Metro to go home, and tweeted about a guy in my car:

    There’s a guy on my Metro train saying things like “Pelosi said get the bill drafted” into his phone and I want to believe it’s a fake convo
    — Chris Hannas (@cjhannas) March 13, 2015

    I got a few responses, but one was from that very same Nats Twitter friend.  She was on the Metro too, and it turned out, on the very same train:

    @vandygirl1998 haha ok I’m right behind you in car two
    — Chris Hannas (@cjhannas) March 13, 2015

    What are the chances I mention someone I’ve never met, and then an hour later meet them?

    Maybe I should incorporate this into my dating strategy.

    April 9, 2015 Simpsons Uncategorized
  • And Now We Have 5 (Griffey N64 Baseball Players)

    (There is a new post updating the list for 2016. Notes on 2015: Wright did not make an MLB appearance, Hawkins planned to retire after the season)

    The competition to become the last active Major League Baseball player who appeared in the Nintendo 64 game MLB Featuring Ken Griffey Jr. took a huge leap forward this offseason with the retirement of half the remaining field.

    Gone are Derek Jeter, Paul Konerko, Jason Giambi, Raul Ibanez and Bobby Abreu.  That brings the number of retired players in the game to 794 and leaves us with just five.

    Still active:
    -Alex Rodriguez
    -David Ortiz
    -Bartolo Colon
    -Latroy Hawkins
    -Jamey Wright

    That’s it.  Really it’s remarkable that any of these guys are still around given the fact that the average season the retired players last appeared in an MLB game was 2003 (2002.994962 to be exact).

    ARod has the best contractual chance to be the last man standing since he’s currently signed through 2017.  None of the other guys has a contract past this season, except for the team options Boston has for Ortiz in 2016 and 2017.  Jamey Wright at the moment I write this is in limbo having just been released by the Rangers in the final days of spring training.

    Last year I put my money on Ortiz, but somehow I think it would be really fitting if ARod was our final guy.  I’ll secretly root for Colon though, since I’d like to see him pitching — and mainly hitting — until at least 2025.

    I have a spreadsheet to keep track of all of this, so I can share some other interesting tidbits from the data set.

    Of the five guys remaining, two of them were actually teammates in the video game:

    In addition to the final season each guy played in, I also track the last uniform they were wearing at the time.  I added up the total number of what I’m calling “last stop” players for each franchise from 1998-2014.  The teams employing the most guys in their final year in the majors have a lot in common:

    You see at the top big market teams that spent a lot of money in free agency as they made the playoffs often, followed by a group that spent money for brief, mild success and a lot of heartache.

    You can also pretty well guess the teams that rank at the bottom of this list, employing younger, cheaper guys and not those in their final season:

    This group with a few of the lowest spenders in the league has won two World Series titles since 1998.  The top five won the championship eight times (obviously not a causal link, and the three Yankees’ World Series in the first three years of the set really skew it).

    The only teams to win the World Series without a single player from the video game are the 2012 Giants and the 2014 Giants.

    It will be interesting to see how many guys we lose after this year.  I would predict three, setting up an epic two-man fight to the finish between ARod and Big Papi as they DH their way to glory.

    And in case you want to see some of these guys match up, here’s ARod hitting into a fielder’s choice against Hawkins:

    BONUS VIDEO: Griffey using the perks of having his own game (and a simple cheat code) to call his shot off Hawkins:

  • Biscwhat?

    Let’s all take a minute and pause to remember our discontinued friend, the Taco Bell waffle taco.

    The fine people running the Taco Bell universe decided that after a year we no longer needed a waffle wrapped around a piece of meat and some egg.  I won’t argue with them.  While I did enjoy the waffle taco experience, I have to admit that it wasn’t an item that made me go out of my way at breakfast time.

    In its place, Taco Bell launched a new line of similarly shaped items called biscuit tacos.  I’ll give you a second to imagine what may be involved here.

    We now have a biscuit — think the KFC variety — wrapped around a few combinations of protein sources.  I tried three of them (not all at once), and since I have become the nation’s foremost Taco Bell connoisseur*, naturally I have to advise you on their worthiness in your life.

    The first was the egg and cheese variety.

    I was really not ready for the biscuityness of these things.  I was expecting more of a gordita-type experience, but again ended up with something that could have come out of a KFC.  Which now that I write that out seems pretty damn logical considering KFC and Taco Bell are part of the same company (and in many glorious instances, the same restaurant).

    Overall this is a decent basic breakfast item.  No frills, all business.  It’s the cheese pizza of non-traditional breakfast choices.  On a four-star scale, I give this version a 2.2.

    Next, the two crispy chicken varieties.

    These come with either a country gravy or jalapeno honey sauce.  We need to consider these separately.

    The country gravy is awesome.  Of the three, this is the best.  It gets a 2.5.  On the other hand, the jalapeno honey is awful, earning no more than a 1.3, and most of those points come from the fact that the sauce comes on the side and you could just eat the biscuit and chicken on their own for a better time.

    Now is the time for me to say something shocking.  Please sit down, grab your computer, phone or tablet with two hands, and prepare your mind for rapid decompression.

    Overall, I have soured on the Taco Bell breakfast experience.  Eating that last jalapeno biscnightmare made me see the situation from a new perspective, and that view is that there’s nothing “Taco Bell” about most of the breakfast menu.  With the exception of the burritos, pretty much everything else belongs at KFC.  Let them start breakfast!

    If Taco Bell really wants to make money in the mornings, I have a tremendous idea for them that will cost zero dollars and zero time in product development.  All they need to do is continue to pay the current staff on the breakfast shift (so they’ll continue showing up for work), and simply offer the normal menu at earlier hours.

    Now I know what you may be thinking, who would go to Taco Bell for regular food at 8 a.m.?  If this is a serious question in your mind, you haven’t paid much attention to the Taco Bell consumer culture.  I think I speak for all of us when I say I would enjoy the hell out of a Mexican pizza for breakfast just as much as if the clock said 11:30 (either a.m. or p.m.).  I’m not going out of my way — literally seven feet since it’s on my way home — to get any of these breakfast things, but I would for my normal Taco Bell experience.

    That was pretty rant-y, but hey, that’s what happens when someone close to you let’s you down. 

    *This may not be true, but until proven otherwise I’m claiming it

    March 30, 2015 food Taco Bell Uncategorized
  • Hej Girl

    Mom, I’m moving to Sweden.

    Don’t worry though, it’s for a girl.  One I haven’t met yet.  Or really identified in any way.  I know it sounds crazy, but a dating website told me to go, and if we can’t trust the Internet, what’s left in this world?

    Last night I signed up for a new site, and after going through the normal profile information I dipped into their list of extra questions designed to help better identify suitable matches.  These are questions like, “Could you live with a messy person?” and you have to give not only your answer, but identify from a multiple choice list which ones you find acceptable in a potential match and rate how important that issue is to you.

    The site yelled at me several times for rating too many questions as irrelevant to me (#sorrynotsorry I’m not picky enough), but I made it through enough questions to get this fancy email from them showing where my best matches live.  You know, since you can figure that out based on 50 or so multiple choice answers.

    First, we have these wonderful United States, where I am fortunate enough to live in a state with supposedly compatible matches.  Maybe I should move to Wisconsin though?

    Sorry, Arkansas.  I’m sure you have many nice people, but the website says I can’t date any of them.  Then again, maybe you’re not alone.  New Hampshire may be the best state, but the website also ranked the entire U.S. as one of the worst countries for me.

    So much about my dating experiences makes sense now.  I never had a chance with these Americans!  I’ve been very popular with two Russians, both of whom quickly declared their love for me.  And Sweden is even better?

    Sign me up.

    March 20, 2015 Uncategorized
  • Veronica Idol

    I didn’t need any more reasons to like everything from the Veronica Mars universe.  First the television show grabbed me, then the movie and now the book series.

    “Mr. Kiss and Tell” is the second one to follow the storyline after the movie, and just like “The Thousand Dollar Tan Line” has the great mix of major and minor characters from the TV series as well as a fresh cast involved in this story’s mystery.

    Most importantly, it has a killer Simpsons reference that comes after Veronica remarks that her dad is being especially nostalgic.

    “Keith put on a Grandpa Simpson voice and bent over.  ‘That reminds me of the time I went to Hampton, which is what they called Hampstead in those days, so I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.'”

    I always liked Keith.   Veronica is pretty awesome too, and has her own reference to further endear her to my cultural world.  She is at Keith’s for dinner, along with boyfriend Logan and their new dog:

    “The puppy capered over to Logan suddenly, setting one paw against his shin and gazing up at him.  Veronica fought the urge to coo.  Channel Philip Marlowe, she told herself sternly.”

    There is a whole section of my bookshelf holding the tales of Philip Marlowe, and it’s probably no surprise that Veronica and her more modern version of the hard-boiled detective would appeal to me.  And now I’m imagining the two of them having a conversation and the physical contrast could not be more stark.  Marlowe would probably like the puppy though.

    I tend to flag a bunch of extra things in books that don’t make anything close to a blog appearance, usually things like words or historical references I want to further explore.  There is a character in “Mr. Kiss and Tell” with the last name Malubay, and that last name is the only thing I highlighted on that page.

    It took me a few minutes to remember why, and then the face of Ramiele Malubay, American Idol contestant from 2008, flashed into my brain.  Other than the first season, that was the only one I’ve really watched and for much of the time Ramiele was one of my favorites.  So since my note to self made me look this up, I can share that she recently finished nursing school and is still doing some singing.

    That was a long and far diversion from the book, but if at this point I haven’t convinced you to consume everything involving Veronica Mars, there may not be any hope for you.  Go watch and read!

    March 16, 2015 books Uncategorized
  • Please and Thank You

    “Sleep and I do not have a good relationship.”

    That probably sounds like a direct quote from an earlier post here or my Twitter feed, but is actually a quote from Amy Poehler’s book “Yes Please.”

    She is a far busier person than I am with a million more responsibilities in life.  At bedtime though, our brains do the exact same thing.

    “As soon as I become prone, my head will begin to unpack,” Poehler writes.  “My mind will turn on and start to hum, which is the opposite of what you need when you begin to switch off.  It is as if I were waiting the whole day for this moment.”

    My mind is most guilty of this on the opposite end of the cycle, when I wake up before I intend to, particularly on the weekends.  It starts rolling through all the things I could be doing, and if one of them is something like writing, it will start actually doing the task mentally to the point that I have no real choice but to get up and write it down. (See: blog post, this one)

    No amount of “shut uuuuup and sleeeep” can halt this process.  But at least it makes me productive.  Yeah, let’s put that as a never-sleep-until-noon silver lining.

    What’s great about this book, like Mindy Kaling’s “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me” is that it is the type of behind the scenes look into the life of a fabulously successful creative person that I really enjoy reading.  I’m not on their level, but knowing that we go through some of the same challenges and thought processes is comforting.  Seeing how their hard work on things that started very small is inspirational.

    One such section goes in depth with her show Parks and Recreation, with the help of creator/writer Mike Schur.  They talk about what drew them to the show and the way they approached their characters that made them special.  She ends with a piece about each of the show’s stars in the rare opportunity people take to say amazing things about how they feel about their friends.  It’s nice to see a reminder that famous people appreciate the kickass people in their life too.

    If you want to watch that kind of thing play out, the cast appeared on Late Night with Seth Meyers the night of their series finale and toasted one another.  Here’s part one, and part two of that.

    Poehler shares a lot of interesting tidbits from her career, but it’s always funny to see the things that didn’t work out for one reason or another.  She talks about a particular TV failure before Parks & Rec came along.

    “Years before, I had worked on a single-camera pilot called North Hollywood, which was also not picked up to series,” Poehler writes.  “Though looking back, it made sense that the show didn’t go — it starred a bunch of losers named Kevin Hart, Jason Segel, and January Jones and was produced by the obviously talentless Judd Apatow.”

    Where is our network of failed TV pilots?  Imagine one single episode after another of projects like that.

    Throughout the book she also provides a lot of insight, including her take on the adage that the only thing for certain in life is change.

    “Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and its painful uncomfortableness directly correlates to your happiness and general well-being,” she writes.  “If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier.”

    Surf on, my friends.

    March 15, 2015 books Uncategorized
  • Heart of Pillows

    I learned two things this past Valentine’s Day.

    First, if you tweet about why you’re single (joining the trending hashtag #WhyImSingle), a company may take that as a marketing opportunity and offer you something.

    @cjhannas You know what goes great with a good book? The cozy #TempurLove pillow we’re sending you. #BookWormsRule pic.twitter.com/wT6y3xROa5
    — Tempur-Pedic (@TempurPedic) February 13, 2015

    I fired off several of these gems, such as, “I don’t like bacon” and “I explain things with, ‘So there’s this episode of The Simpsons…'”  But only one got love from the fine folks at Tempur-Pedic.

    The second thing I learned, thanks to them, is that there is such a thing as a “Limited Edition 2015 Valentine’s Day Pillow.”  I sincerely hope there’s someone in America who collects one from each year like Hess trucks.

    This thing arrived at my door the other day, bringing my Tempur pillow collection up to two.  See that, corporate America, you were rewarding someone who already uses your product!  You already got my money!!!  Whatever, these pillows are freaking awesome.  There, you’re welcome.

    So what makes a pillow special for Valentine’s Day?  Um, maybe the heart that’s stitched on there?

    I imagine that while I’m sleeping that heart pulses out loving vibes like that Care Bear with the heart on his chest.  (I just did more research than a 31-year-old male should do on this topic and his name is Tenderheart Bear.)

    So I think the lesson here is that being single and using Twitter can be lucrative.  Take that, couples with other things to do!

    Happy cuddling.

    March 6, 2015 internet Uncategorized
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