Category: Uncategorized

15 Jul

I (Don’t) See Where You’re Going With This

I can unequivocally say I have just finished the strangest book I will ever read.

I’ve written about some that were tough to get through, but this is something else entirely. It’s one thing to not be totally clear what’s going on with the plot, but usually you at least know who the characters are and have some sense of what they are working towards.

In Italo Calvino’s “If on a winter’s night a traveler” you are the main character. That’s right, he starts the first chapter by saying “You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino’s new novel, If on a winter’s night a traveler.”

The chapters then alternate between you reading the text(s) and your increasingly frantic quest to track down a complete copy of this book, and then another, and then another. The first book has a printing error, and each successive time you’re reading the first chapter of a new book that has its own error — and isn’t the one you thought it was — and then trying to find its remainder.

Confused? I think that’s the point. Calvino wants you to stop thinking so much about the ABCs of standard storytelling and look for something else in the text.

After a while this whole process becomes kind of comical. You know you’re reading what will only be the first part of a story, and yet, each one is so engaging you forget for a few pages and are genuinely disappointed when the chapter ends and you realize you have to move on to a new story and new characters.

This is a book about reading — the process, what we look for in a story and what we get out of the act itself. The “books” have nothing to do with one another, but taken together they still represent something.

Usually when I go to write about a book I first go to each of the dog-earred pages, find the section I think I wanted to reference and type it out here. I always include a notation of the speaker in case I need it later. In this case, I didn’t even try to figure out who was talking since the characters are so nebulous.

Again, no idea who said this, but I think it’s an excellent message about how even the smallest experience long ago can play a part in what we do and experience today:

“And so if by chance I happen to dwell on some ordinary detail of an ordinary day…I can be sure that even in this tiny, insignificant episode there is implicit everything I have experienced, all the past, the multiple pasts I have tried in vain to leave behind me, the lives that in the end are soldered into an overall life, my life.”

Calvino also talks about reading in the same way, that books don’t exist in a vacuum:

“Every new book I read comes to be a part of that overall and unitary book that is the sum of my readings.”

Everything you read builds upon what came before it and creates a bigger story. You and I may have read a lot of the same books, but not all of the same ones. Therefore your “book” is different from mine and affects your next bit of reading in a different way than it would affect me.

That quote is from “a fourth reader,” who is just the fourth person to speak at this table full of people who are reading. That just distinguishes them from the “third reader” and the “second reader.” These are not be confused as being linked in any way to “The Reader” (you) or “The Other Reader” (a girl you meet at a bookstore while trying to find a correct copy of the first book). I told you this book wasn’t “normal.”

While I was reading this book my friend Regan posted on Twitter about a slight issue she had with her own reading:

Having turned the page on three or four now-interrupted stories, I could somewhat sympathize. Even one of Calvino’s characters (the reader, not THE The Reader, but another the reader, ugh) laments that kind of disjointed experience:

“I am forced to stop reading just when they become most gripping. I can’t wait to resume, but when I think I am reopening the book I began, I find a completely different book before me.”

But we can also have that same kind of experience with complete books. A single book can change over time, as we change and then go back to it for another reading. Like the quote about small things building up into our “overall life” we approach a repeat reading from a different place, and thus are open to new emotions and interpretations.

The third reader (from the same group as the fourth reader above) isn’t sure if he is changing or if it is the act of reading itself which is just inherently unrepeatable:

“At every rereading I seem to be reading a new book, for the first time. Is it I who keep changing and seeing new things of which I was not previously aware? Or is reading a construction that assumes form, assembling a great number of variables, and therefore something that cannot be repeated twice according to the same pattern?”

I’m definitely reading a more standard text next, but glad I made it through this one. Not often you read something so very different.

By cjhannas books Uncategorized
13 Jul

Creative Company

I haven’t exactly been putting up tons of content lately, and as someone who follows other blogs I know that probably leaves a huge, immense, devastating, heart-breaking hole in your life.

My answer to that — other than obviously posting more of my own stuff — is to share some sites from my creative/quirky friends.

You know all about AV’s website from an earlier post, so I don’t have to badger you again to check it out (though you should).

I’ll start with Jen(n)a (@jenaardell) whose name I have spelled that way since roughly 2003. We went to college together, and at some point I was really unsure of how many Ns were in here name, so I just made the one sort of optional. She’s a photographer who specializes in retro pictures (shot today, look vintage) as well as Polaroids. She also happens to end up with super cool gigs covering her favorite band and mine for LA Weekly.

Keeping in the college crowd, let’s move on to Jason’s blog. First I want to acknowledge the great pun at work here. Jason lives in Denver, the Mile High City, where one may experience altitude sickness. He’s also very opinionated, and putting those together arrived at Attitude Sickness. I remember him consulting the Facebook world and considering a number of titles in the same punny spirit, but I’m glad he settled on this one. Lately, most of the content has been about an extended trip he made to the Philippines and Vietnam. But this is a blog that has as one of its categories “Uncategorized Rambling” and thus is worthy of a read.

What’s that? You want more from the Susquehanna University classes of 2005/06? Fine.

Brooke went there too, and has a blog I would describe using the words snarky, nerdy, occasionally about her upcoming wedding, and ultimately entertaining. I did have to actually Google the blog title on this one to find out what it was actually referencing and I’m proud to report it appears to be a character in “Pride and Prejudice.” I was worried it was something far, far girlier.

Just so you think I read things other than those written by my fellow Crusaders, I’ll share one more.

For anyone interested in filmmaking or any creative process/endeavor, check out Camden’s blog about her experience creating a documentary “about the Montagnard people who served as American allies during the Vietnam War.” She has chronicled big-picture stuff like finding out about the history behind the story, as well as really specific posts about technical challenges in the editing process. She also shares a lot of tips about time management and the things she has learned about herself, which I think really translate to a lot of facets of life. I don’t actually know her, my brother does, but we were introduced through Twitter when she was looking for old Vietnam footage and figuring out how to capture 8mm film to video just as I was doing the same process at my old job. Good times.

By cjhannas Uncategorized
02 Jul

Build This House With Me

I took a video editing class in college that included a project to make a two-minute trailer for the movie of your choice.

It wasn’t about recreating the real trailer, but rather doing whatever you wanted to make it your own. On the surface this sounds really easy, but distilling a two-hour film down to a trailer that highlights enough to get people interested without giving too much away is a bit tough.

Neither I nor most of my group had the least bit of preference for which film to tackle, so we ended up going with Jason’s pick of “Life As A House.” This added another layer of difficulty since I’m pretty sure none of the rest of us had ever heard of the movie, let alone seen it.

Fortunately the local video rental place had a copy — VHS I believe — and a few viewings later we came up with this:

At gunpoint I could recite this entire thing word-for-word. I may have seen it a few too many times.

I’m especially proud of the ending, where Kevin Kline’s character is smashing all the little models to the beat of the music as if they are drums. This is one of those happy accidents that pops up in creative ventures sometimes. As I recall, the footage just happened to almost line up when we first cut it, so it was just a matter of tweaking things a bit (like slowing down the last shot) to get it just right.

So how did we do? Here’s the actual trailer from 2001:

We didn’t watch the real one until after ours was done. We felt like they told a totally different story, one that seemed to put a happier spin on the movie than what was actually there. Maybe they thought more people would want to go see it that way.

Things didn’t go so well at the box office though. Maybe they should have hired us instead.

By cjhannas movies Susquehanna Uncategorized video
02 Jul

Now Boarding

It’s funny to stop and think about some of the things we hang onto.

Everyone has at least something in their house that they’ve carried for years for really no reason. They can’t explain why they still have it, they just do.

The other day I came across this:

That’s a whiteboard — still wrapped in plastic — that I got from my grandmother shortly after I graduated high school. Ten years ago.

I brought it with me when I went off to school in Pennsylvania, but obviously never used it. It spent a lot of time in closets during the next four years as I went through the cycle of remembering I had it, taking it to school, forgetting about it, then taking it back home with a vow to actually use it next year.

When I went to grad school in Maryland, the white board went too. Same when I moved to Florida and subsequently back to Virginia. I’m surprised I haven’t accidentally ripped the plastic during all those trips.

The real question is, does the pen still work?

By cjhannas Uncategorized
30 Jun

Right Way to Write

Some people need a special space and just the right conditions in order to write.

A quiet office with the perfect color of paint on the walls is necessary for them to focus and channel their creative energies. Fortunately, I am not one of those people.

At work, I have to write stories with whatever noise is going on in the newsroom — televisions, phones, people shrieking at the sight of mice — and the news doesn’t stop just because I don’t like the bland desk that’s holding up my monitor:

In the spirit of full disclosure that’s not actually my desk. It’s AV’s, but we work at the same place and I assure you mine looks the same.

At home, I have a lot more control and thanks to the wonders of laptops and wireless Internet, I can work just about anywhere I want. Not that I do, but I could.

Everything you read here is composed in one of two places. There’s the desktop computer in my bedroom:

Or more frequently, it’s sitting downstairs in a recliner using my laptop:

I guess I do have one special stipulation though — I find it very hard to work in silence. Maybe that goes back to writing so often in the newsroom that I’m used to having at least some background noise. I find the sound of silence somewhat distracting.

Ever since college I have turned to music to combat this problem. On very rare occasions that means opening up iTunes and letting it skip around my playlist playing whatever it wants. Usually though, I listen to one of three artists, and in an odd twist, this is the only time I ever listen to them.

The first is Nickel Creek. I can accomplish absolutely anything with them as my background noise. The only problem is that I only have one of their CDs, so the window of productivity is pretty limited.

The second, Delta Goodrem, does not present that issue. I think I have three of her albums, and thus can work for hours with her wailing away at a just-audible level.

If things really aren’t going well and I’m having a hard time getting myself to just buckle down and work, it’s time to go to the secret weapon — DMX. I know, you probably assumed from the start that DMX was one of the three, but I had to make sure. His song “What’s My Name” basically sounds to me like “Do Some Work.”

When even that doesn’t work, I may solve my Rubik’s Cube in a last-ditch effort to get the creative juices going. But sometimes even the best of us can totally fail, and end up opting for more successful pursuits such as napping or quality time with the Playstation.

That may mean you go a week (or two) without seeing any new content, but if you get too desperate you can always just pretend it’s 2006 and read those entries instead.

By cjhannas Uncategorized writing
24 Jun

We’re Jambin’

My phone buzzed just after noon today, waking me up from a solid 12 hours of sleep.

That initially sounds like an amazing way to start any weekend, but given that I only slept three hours the day before it’s actually not that great at all. You might even say I’m somewhat sleep deprived.

I was talking to AV after my extended sleep session, and she sent me a link to an article she had just read giving five signs that you’re not getting enough sleep. Number 5 on the list: “You’ve become a klutz.”

Last night, on just the three hours of sleep, I decided the last thing I wanted to do was actually cook dinner. The word “Chipotle” sound a lot better than “effort.”

Before I could make the short drive though, I needed to grab my wallet and keys from my bedroom. When I walked out of the room, I caught the pocket of my shorts on the door latch, which somehow then whipped my hand into the door jamb so hard it immediately left a giant purple welt. I momentarily thought I broke my hand.

I did a terrible job of explaining that scene to AV, so I made her a diagram that I’ll share in case I failed again:

It’s hard to say if sleep deprivation was to blame, or if it was just natural klutziness. But since I went a full day on 12 hours of sleep without running myself into a doorway, let’s go with the sleepiness.

By cjhannas not smart Uncategorized
24 Jun

Signing the Dotted Line

It’s been a while since I put on my sports columnist hat, but with the sudden resignation of Washington Nationals manager Jim Riggleman it seems like an appropriate time to revisit something I used to do every week.

When the news first broke, I thought someone had made a huge reporting mistake. After all, the Nationals had just won their game to continue an almost unfathomable hot streak. Everything about this team was a constant stream of positivity.

But there it was, an incredulous tweet from WJLA’s Britt McHenry responding to something sent out by someone I assume is some kind of Nats blogger: “What?! RT @washingnats: I just learned that Jim Riggleman has resigned as manager of the #Nats.”

McHenry’s “What?!” was how most people reacted in the following hours as Riggleman’s resignation was confirmed. Why would a guy leading one of the hottest teams in baseball right now, one who had garnered so much respect not just with this team but earlier in his career, walk away so suddenly?

It came down to his contract. Riggleman was in the last year of a deal he signed in 2009, but the team held an option to extend him for next year. He was frustrated they had not given him an extension, which he probably deserved, nor had they seriously held talks with him about his future.

Nationals General Manager Mike Rizzo says Riggleman gave him an ultimatum less than an hour before Thursday’s game, saying he wanted a new deal or he was walking. The game ended, and Riggleman walked.

At first, I was totally on Riggleman’s side. I liked him, and who doesn’t enjoy a good “take this job and shove it” or “get two beers and jump” story?

As I thought about it more today though, the fact that he was under contract bothers me. When you sign on the dotted line, whether you’re a professional athlete, coach, or managing a Denny’s, that’s a commitment. The stuff above the signature lays out what each party will do and for how long. If you don’t like the terms, don’t put your pen to the page.

The Washington Post quoted Riggleman talking about his contract: “I made it very clear that I didn’t like [it], but you know I can’t say no to it,” Riggleman said, recounting his conversations with team management when he signed the contract. “So there I am, and two years later, I’m realizing, ‘You know what? I was right. That’s not a good way to do business.’”

Again, if you don’t like it don’t sign. We see this a lot of times before the NFL season with players holding out for a new deal. A star receiver has a career year and decides his old contract is no longer worthy of his abilities. He feels it’s OK to refuse to honor that contract and demand the team pay him more money.

This always reminds me of a scene in the iconic Adam Sandler version of “Mr. Deeds.” Deeds, played by Sandler, talks to the quarterback of the Jets, who is following the exact script above. Deeds’s (paraphrased) response? “If you had a terrible year could the team just demand you take a pay cut?” Of course not. They can fire you, but the contract probably says they have to pay you some kind of buyout.

A few years ago I was working as a news producer in Florida on a one-year contract. Part way through the year, my boss brought me an offer for an extension. It was for a little over three years and included a raise, but I didn’t sign it.

Among other things, I knew at that point I didn’t want to stick around in that city for that length of time. Sure, there wouldn’t have been huge legal consequences if I signed the extension and bolted after two years. But it wasn’t a contract I liked, so I didn’t sign it.

What I wanted was a one-year extension, but the station decided that wasn’t an option for them. So, instead of throwing a fit and storming out the door, I worked through the end of my deal and we parted on great terms.

Things don’t have to get crazy.

By cjhannas baseball Uncategorized
16 Jun

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

I’m not sure if anyone else has figured this out yet, but vacation days are awesome.

As I type this, I have been off from work for a solid week and still have a few days to go. I knew this vacation was going to be solid when I got to the airport after working all night, sat down at my gate and saw this:

That’s a Five Guys if you can’t quite make it out through the greenery. And yes, a cheeseburger at 9:30 a.m. is always a great decision. After landing in Naples, Fla., I spent six days doing this:

And some of this:

Whenever I go to the beach I always try to get out to the shore for at least one sunrise. Since I live on the East Coast that’s the only way to see the combination of sun and ocean. On this trip though, I was on the Gulf side of Florida, meaning I could hang out with the sun on a more agreeable schedule. Here’s my half-effort attempt at time-lapsing the sunset:

I also took a short drive up to Ft. Myers to see a Single-A baseball game between the Ft. Myers Miracle and the Palm Beach Cardinals:

I’m spending the rest of my time off back home (avoided using the term “staycation” there, you’re welcome). That means two Washington Nationals games and a little bit of this:

Oh, and some writing too. Updates on that sometime soon.

By cjhannas baseball beach golf Uncategorized video
07 Jun

Enero de Mis Sueños

“I think I can find your dream girl.”

That was the message I got last week from my friend Kim, who has now apparently taken leadership of my dream girl search committee. I had no idea there was such an entity, but she says she’s particularly skilled in picking out someone’s type.

I’m happy to report that in just four days she has found the perfect woman for me: January Jones.

Now, I know what you may be thinking, and yes things with other celebrities who don’t know I exist haven’t gone so well. But those were just shots in the dark (sorry Natalie). This is science, or at least an objective decision made by an outsider using her extensive knowledge of me.

And if for some reason January doesn’t return my calls, don’t worry. Kim offers a warranty on her dream girl picks and says she’ll find another one.

By cjhannas life plans Uncategorized
05 Jun

Team Coco

I watch a lot of late night television, mainly due to the fact that I work overnights and thus am awake when the shows start at 11:35.

If you’re a connoisseur of the genre and know me at all, it’s probably no surprise I gravitate towards David Letterman and Jimmy Fallon. But for a short time, I at least had to make a choice in that early time slot. That’s when Conan O’Brien hosted the “Tonight Show.”

I just finished reading Bill Carter’s “The War For Late Night” which chronicles the rise and fall of Conan’s “Tonight Show” run, from his initial guarantee to host to the day last year when he accepted a settlement from NBC and took his show to TBS.

I knew all the big-picture stuff about this saga from having watched it play out on TV at the time, and also read about some of the insider stuff as well. It was fascinating to read Carter’s description of how everything was working inside NBC, as well as the Leno and Conan camps, as all the decisions and negotiations were taking place.

If you’re not familiar, here’s a very basic timeline of what happened:

-NBC gave Conan a guarantee that he would host the “Tonight Show” after a set number of years, upon which they told Leno he would be done

-Leno wanted to stay on TV, and combined with NBC’s fear he would bolt to compete with them at say ABC, he ended up with an ill-fated show at 10 p.m. on NBC

-Neither show did great in ratings, and NBC affiliate stations complained their news ratings were being crushed

-NBC reacted by floating a plan to move Leno back to 11:35, and shifting Conan and the “Tonight Show” to 12:05

-Conan balked, the network chose to stay with Leno and pay Conan a multi-million dollar settlement

Throughout the entire process, and especially in the accounts in the book, Conan comes across as sort of the righteous character in the story. He didn’t do everything perfectly, and maybe what NBC was asking wasn’t so bad, but people generally felt Conan was being screwed.

The shame is that in the end Conan is now stuck on TBS while Leno continues to dominate the late night ratings on NBC. Carter talked to many of the other players, who gave really candid assessments of the situation and their colleagues. Many of the major names are Letterman disciples and don’t get Leno’s appeal. Jimmy Kimmel, who hosts a show on ABC at 12:05 describes Leno’s brand of comedy saying, “I think he turned comedy into factory work–and it comes across.”

Sure, there are “Leno people” and everyone is definitely entitled to their opinion about which shows are more entertaining. But I think actor and one-time Conan roommate Jeff Garlin sums up my view pretty well:

“It’s like comparing John Coltrane to Kenny G,” he says in the book. “One of Kenny G’s albums probably sold more than all of John Coltrane’s library. But you can’t tell me for a second that Kenny G is better than John Coltrane.”

While I knew a lot about this set of events, a lot of what I enjoyed about this book was learning more about Conan. I was vaguely aware that he had written for Saturday Night Live and The Simpsons, but even as a total Simpsons nerd I had no idea he wrote the amazing “Marge vs. the Monorail” episode and the one where Homer goes back to college.

But there is also a lot of real insight into Conan’s mind as a creative individual, particularly with the self-doubt that often comes along with the process. Carter describes it as “imposter syndrome” saying that as eager as Conan was to take over the “Tonight Show,” there was always “the thought that, no matter how successful you became, ‘they’re about to catch up to you.'”

I don’t know many creative people who don’t think that way. As much as we are proud of our work and know that some things we do rock, hitting the “publish” button and sending our stuff out into the world can be extremely nerve-wracking. There’s always a sense that it could be better, and that there has to be some kind of luck to people thinking what we are doing is special. I know that when I was in school, no matter how good my grades were I had the feeling that some day, someone was going to figure out I’m really not that smart.

I’ll close with Conan’s closing to his “Tonight Show” run. He spent his final days absolutely lampooning NBC in a string of shows that belongs in some kind of entertainment hall of fame. The process crushed him. NBC was ripping away something he had dreamed of since he was a kid sitting and watching the show with his father. And yet, while his legion of young fans who don’t need much to be pushed into a cynical view of the world rallied behind him, Conan said this:

“Please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”

Amen.

By cjhannas books Simpsons television Uncategorized