Category: kids

17 Mar

Kids These Days

I fear for our future.

That’s not based on any 2012 apocalyptic scenarios or the coming pollen season, but rather what I have observed with today’s youth.

I posted a pair of stories related to this topic a few years ago — one about a kid who failed at using a rolling backpack and one I saw eating grass in a high horse-traffic area.

Today, I saw another disturbing sight while driving home from work.

On a two-lane road, I came up to a line of cars that had stopped for a school bus. I looked to the left of the bus just in time to see a kid emerge from inside a van parked at the top of a driveway and run onto the bus. As the bus pulled away, the van drove down the driveway back to the house about 200 feet away.

I drove on, and my sleep-deprived brain slowly started to put the situation together. A parent had loaded their child into a van, driven them to the top of their driveway 200 feet away and waited there for the bus to come.

Have kids become that soft? They can’t walk to a bus stop 200 feet away and wait outside in 50-degree weather?

My elementary school was almost a mile from my house, and I walked to and from school all the time. Sometimes I rode my bike…while carrying a violin case. The weather didn’t matter.

Of course, maybe that just makes me one of those geezers talking about going five miles through knee-deep snow uphill both ways.

By cjhannas kids Uncategorized
16 Nov

Mad Mad World

I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right, it has been a while since I wrote about someone else’s child.

Fortunately for you, I was down in Raleigh last weekend to meet the newest addition to our family — my brother’s daughter Madelyn. Some people have asked for details I was previously unable to provide, but since I have now held the child (and received an informative birth announcement in the mail) I can share that she was 7 pounds, 5 ounces at birth with a length of 20 inches.

She is bigger now and also a big fan of the calming presence of Uncle Chris. Actually, I can’t totally say that since she has two of them and I can’t speak for the effects of the other one. Our time together unfolded a little like a scene from last week’s episode of The Office, just with a little less pepperoni pizza involved:

Alright, it actually looked more like this:

Her parents have charged me with teaching her about manners, baseball, fireworks and building fires, though not necessarily all at once.

Time to start working on my curriculum.

By cjhannas baseball family kids Uncategorized
20 Oct

Catching Up

I just noticed a woeful number of postings for this month, and I really don’t have an excuse for not writing.

So to break the streak, I bring you what could be a useful collection of stories for those just finding the blog, those who started reading partway through the year or those who just want to relive some good times.

On this 20th day of the 10th month, I bring you the 10 best posts of 2010 (skipping posts from October — those are new enough for you to find on your own):

Oh Baby Baby
Mom lets me know I face a deadline for producing a child. Also proof that including celebrities in your writing brings in readers (thanks, Natalie!)

Dealies, Please
A trip down good-eating lane with perhaps my favorite food product on Earth. The accompanying picture belongs in a museum.

Lessons From a Little Girl
Easily the most popular post of the year. I share a meal with a 7-year-old girl and learn more than I would have dreamed possible. This post is a bonus on the list that adds a small part to the story.

Six Years Ago Today
The anniversary of a special relationship. Also has pictures of bees. And a bonus link inside to a video of me solving a Rubik’s Cube.

Tickling the (Plastic) Ivories
Another half-baked talent that doesn’t do much for my day-to-day life — my piano skillz.

My Regrets to the Duchess
One hyphenated word: T-Shirt-Tank.

Taking the Floris Elementary Stage
My 4th grade class at Floris Elementary goes In Quest of Columbus.

Seeing the Past
I see an old co-worker while checking out at Target. Kind of a sad story, but I think one of the better-written posts of the year.

So Long, Tai Shan
Washington loses its baby panda, but you gain a look at the TV news report I did about Tai Shan while in grad school.

Do You Like Hot Sauce?
A simple question that was probably the most debated issue on the blog this year.

Enjoy.

By cjhannas baseball best of family food kids life plans Rubik's cube Susquehanna Taco Bell Uncategorized
07 Oct

Spaghetti Tacos: Yes, Please

Nickelodeon is responsible for a lot of great innovations in kid-dom, including such icons as “Ren & Stimpy,” “Doug” and “Clarissa Explains it All.”

But a newer program on the network may have inadvertently spawned the greatest idea yet: Spaghetti tacos.

I was reading through The New York Times the other night at work and could not pass up a story that included two of my favorite foods. It turns out, according to the Times, the combination of spaghetti and tacos is huge with the viewers of the show “iCarly.”

“That punch line has now become part of American children’s cuisine, fostering a legion of imitators and improvisers across the country,” the story says. “Spurred on by reruns, Internet traffic, slumber parties and simple old-fashioned word of mouth among children, spaghetti tacos are all the rage. Especially if you’re less than 5 feet tall and live with your mother.”

I haven’t been less than 5 feet tall since the age of two (OK, not true, but it’s been a while) and don’t live with my mother. But there is no doubt I will be purchasing taco shells in the coming days to give this dish a shot.

Note: As you may have noticed, I changed the look of the blog to hopefully improve readability. Let me know what you think.

By cjhannas food kids Uncategorized
26 Sep

Oh Baby Baby

Baby Hannas is almost here — my brother’s child, not mine — and to say that my mom has been waiting for her arrival for a long time would be an understatement.

Roughly six years ago my cousin had a son, and after going to one of his early birthday parties my mom told a carfull of my siblings something to the effect of, “I’m ready when you’re ready.”

Since then my older brother got married, and more recently my sister did as well. (First I wrote “my older brother and sister got married,” but clearly that doesn’t sound right). The prevailing theory among the rest of us was that once a grandchild existed, mom would have someone to play with and dote upon and all pressure would be off.

Well, it looks like that thesis is incorrect.

I was over at my parents’ house the other day to help out with a few things. One task was to move some furniture in the ongoing process of getting the upstairs more baby-toting visitor-friendly. Later I was doing some stuff on her computer when the One Year Plan came up.

It turns out the one grandchild plan was flawed from the start. Apparently relying on other members of the labor pool (pun not intended, but accepted) is not within the expectations of management. All are supposed to contribute to the system. Who knew?

I asked what sort of timetable existed, and as the name of the plan suggests, my child was slated to arrive in a year. Given the laws of nature, the current state of the stock market, global warming and the like, that didn’t leave much time to get the plan in gear.

I mean, that doesn’t give Natalie Portman a lot of notice to change her filming schedule to accommodate the plan. I was able to push the deadline back to two years, but I should probably let Natalie know pretty soon anyway.

Natalie is a little skeptical about the plan

I asked a few more questions to make sure the expectations were clear. There is no cap on grandkids — so if my sister were to announce tomorrow she was having twins, that would in no way affect my situation. The deadline is also important because the grandkids are supposed to have cousins who are near in age to play with. I argued that it would be good to have a range so that the older ones could be passing along wisdom. Suggestion rejected.

You may recall from an earlier post, that my mom and I have a running joke that I am going to be married with two kids before she even knows I am in a relationship. So while the first kid may arrive in two years, it’s not like she would even know about it until much later.

So, blog readers, we have some work to do.

P.S. Hi Mom!

By cjhannas kids life plans Uncategorized
24 Jul

Miracle Marshmallows and Silly Bandz Silliness

A completely random choice of aisles at Target completely changed my life today. At least, for a limited time.

I was on my way to pick up some juice and needed to cut through an aisle to get there. I could have picked any of a dozen different routes, but the one I chose took my past a miracle $0.96 product that is truly revolutionary: chocolate swirl marshmallows.

My first thought upon seeing such a culinary masterpiece was that I had to have some. My second thought was why it took until 2010 for such a thing to exist. I mean, nobody in their right mind could walk past this:

Two fun flavors in one! The bag does not lie, these things are delicious. But notice in the top-left corner it says “Limited Edition!” While I applaud their enthusiasm with the exclamation point, I do not like the message. Just when we get this miracle product, the fine people at Kraft are already threatening to take it away.

Crying shame.

In an unrelated note, I realized today that I forgot another important part of my conversation with 7-year-old Ellie from the weekend. If you didn’t read about the enlightening encounter with a creative kid, you can find it here (or just scroll down, it’s only two posts ago).

I left out our discussion of kid-craze Silly Bandz. For those of you who are not in the know, they are fancy rubber bands that kids go nuts about. They come in all kinds of colors and themes and are often traded. Some schools have banned them, probably on grounds that they are somehow distracting to the educational mission or some crazy adult reason like that.

Anywho. Ellie has 78 of them. Or 73. No 78. No, it’s 68. I’m not sure we ever settled on a final number. But she was very clear that she wears five — and only five — at one time. I am sad to report that I did not get a reason for the number. It seems like the kind of thing that would be mom-imposed as a way to keep all 68 (or so) from being worn at one time.

That would just be silly.

By cjhannas family food kids Uncategorized
19 Jul

Lessons From a Little Girl

There is a lot you can learn from a 7-year-old.

My education came over the weekend while at a family gathering in Virginia Beach. A good-sized group from my dad’s side of the family is enjoying a week there, complete with some of his cousins and their kids.

Sunday night we shared a nice meal at a local pizza place, where I sat next to my second cousin, Ellie. She is happy to tell you about a lot of things in our world, and even some that may only occur in hers.

We were facing a television that was mounted in one corner of the restaurant, and a somewhat new commercial starring Julia Stiles came on. Ellie was quick to tell me that Ms. Stiles was wearing too much eyeshadow. Now I know.

She also went into great detail about just the right amount of lemonade to sip at one time. You don’t want too much, of course. That would result in too much sugar and wouldn’t taste right. Then again, you don’t want too little, lest you not get enough flavor. So enjoy your lemonade in moderation — it is the best drink ever made.

You may not be aware, but I also have magic skills. They are not as advanced as Ellie’s, but they are there nonetheless. I am only at Level 1 (I don’t know how many levels there are, I’ll have to check), while she is an advanced Level 3. Apparently you can go up to the next level on your birthday, but sometimes you aren’t ready and have to wait until next year. I will be interested to see what happens in August, though I may not have been practicing enough to get a magic promotion.

If you need to work on your skills, you can always go to Magic School. Ellie told me her uncle has been to such a school (her dad told me the uncle can do some magic tricks). I said maybe I could go to an online program, though I wasn’t sure if such a thing existed. Ellie said that was okay, I could always start one of my own and call it MagicSchool.com. I am sad to report that such a site already exists.

I understand that you may doubt our magic ability. But I ask to you consider the following: We became slightly impatient about getting our food, so we decided to use the magic to make it arrive at our table. We “warmed up” our magic, closed our fists, and on the count of three we opened our hands in the direction of the kitchen. Not one minute later, several pizzas were placed right in front of us. (In fairness, the waiter had just come by and put the little elevated stands that hold the pizza, so it’s possible the pizzas would have come anyway).

She went to the restroom at one point and asked if I could watch her drink — “Make sure NOBODY messes with it!” Naturally I moved it to a different table, and she asked what happened to it. I said that an elf came and stole it. She said she didn’t believe me. Then she quickly decided she had in fact seen the elf run by while she was gone. I wanted to make sure we were talking about the same elf, so I asked her to describe it. It was pretty much like a typical leprechaun, except he was wearing a red suit along with a red hat with a big white feather in it. The elf has many of the exact same hat, though he has one — just one — that has a black feather. He wears that one for special occasions.

That, my friends, is what you can learn from a 7-year-old during just one meal.

Ellie and I after dinner

I always find it interesting to experience something and then read an article or part of a book soon afterwards that directly speaks to that experience. The day after this enlightening meal I read the cover story from last week’s issue of Newsweek called “The Creativity Crisis.”

The story is a bit long, but if you spend any time around kids or creative people, you should find it to be pretty interesting. The basic argument is that kids today are not as creative, owing to more time in front of video screens and less time figuring out ways to amuse themselves.

Part of the article talks about the different phases that creative kids go through in their development.

“In middle childhood, kids sometimes create paracosms — fantasies of entire alternative worlds. Kids revisit their paracosms repeatedly, sometimes for months, and even create languages spoken there. This type of play peaks at age 9 or 10, and it’s a very strong sign of future creativity. A Michigan State University study of MacArthur ‘genius award’ winners found a remarkably high rate of paracosm creation in their childhoods.”

Ellie and I first discussed our magic abilities a year ago during a rousing bocce ball match at my parents’ house. I am pretty sure we conjured our way to victory.

If she goes on to invent something amazing, you heard it here first.

By cjhannas family kids Uncategorized
16 Jun

Taking the Floris Elementary Stage

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Five hundred years later, I was in the 4th grade and landed a prime role in a play about Columbus.

I won’t bury the lede–here’s the video of that sweet production:

The show is called “In Quest of Columbus” and features what I believe is the entire 4th grade at Floris Elementary that year. The real highlight for me comes around the 13:45 mark, where I think I tell the girl standing next to me that I disagree by saying “you’re all wet.” Did this play somehow get set in the 1920s?

I vaguely remember some kind of audition process, and I’m glad I didn’t end up as one of the nameless, Hawaiian shirt-wearing chorus folks. Both of my current roommates suffered that fate, though one of them didn’t even remember he was in the play at all until I explained the whole thing. I just asked the other one, and he didn’t recall it at all.

I think my twin sister is one of the “cabin crew” but I’m not 100 percent on that. Actually, that sounds like a terrible thing to say. Let me look again…There she is! Ok, definitely a pirate. I mean, crew person.

It is interesting to look back at my classmates, with so many of them easily recognizable (probably because we went to the same high school as well). But then there are a bunch of faces that look completely foreign. In my group of “explorers” I can name eight of the other 12 kids. Two look sort of familiar, and I might guess one of their names. Those last two though, I haven’t the foggiest clue where they came from or where they went.

Also note that I may be the fourth tallest one that stage–not a usual sight.

I must say that I nailed the basic requirements of an elementary school actor, mainly that I didn’t say my lines as quickly as humanly possible. I do wave my arms a lot to make emphatic points about every single word I am saying. I guess I thought the audience really needed to pay attention to my message.

Another highlight comes at the 23:30 mark as we wake up in a sort of camp-like scenario. I remember struggling with this first line in rehearsals–there are actual words I was supposed to say but it was to be done in a sort of yawning fashion. It came out as complete nonsense…but it got a laugh!

Alas, there was no Oscar for my performance. Maybe next time.

By cjhannas kids nostalgia Uncategorized video
04 Dec

Youth of Copper Crossing

Shortly before the election I wrote about a kid I saw eating grass. I said the future of American surely can’t be that bright, especially since the grass was right next to where thousands of horses have surely done their business.

That incident took place .76 miles from my house in the illustrious Copper Crossing neighborhood. Today there was another sign of a dismal future, but this time it hit much closer–a mere .14 miles away.

A young boy was walking home from school as I drove by. Because he was walking, I can only surmise he attends Floris Elementary. In its heyday, Floris injected knowledge into such brilliant minds as my own and those of the students who also happened to go there. I was also a walker, which at the time I thought made me somehow special.

But I don’t want to get too off track here. The kid was toting two items on his walk home: a jacket of some sort and one of those newfangled “backpacks” that looks more like a piece of small luggage more suited for rolling down the hallways of nearby Dulles International Airport.

Now back in my day, we just carried regular backpacks during the arduous journey home. Sometimes we rocked two straps, sometimes just one, depending on what was cool at the time. But I’ll even let the kid have a pass for being lazy. However, I will not let him off for dragging the thing sideways, one step at a time, instead of using the built-in wheels.

That’s right. The kid could easily have been walking at an easy pace with the “backpack” rolling cheerily along behind him. Instead, he was struggling one step at a time, heaving the thing along on its side.

Fear for the future. Actually that reminds me of the movie “Idiocracy,” which many will tell you sucks but yet I think is beyond awesome. Yesterday I was flipping through a catalog and saw this. If you haven’t seen the movie, Brawndo is a Gatorade-like substance that Americans have been convinced is an absolute replacement for water–suitable for watering plants despite the obvious evidence that all the plants are dead. It’s got what plants need!!!

I also got two DVDs from Netflix today that both have the exact same runtime. Must be a sign of some sort.

By cjhannas kids Uncategorized
04 Nov

The Future of America

I know you’re thinking that November 4 is a big day in deciding the future of America. There’s this whole presidential election that will either put Sen. John McCain or Sen. Barack Obama in the White House come January. But I’m afraid that no matter what happens in Decision ’08, the next generation’s fate is already sealed.

I have observed many different people during my time running in Northern Virginia (the kind with the shoes and shorts, not the political kind). There’s a park about a mile from my parents’ house that is a frequent location for these excursions, and it was there that today I caught a glimpse of what is in store.

And it’s not good.

After darting across a not-so-busy street, I swung into the park and ran past a horse ring. Nearby there is a playground that had maybe a dozen youngsters partaking in childlike fun while their parents watched from a short distance. But next to the horse ring, away from the group, there was a single child sitting in the grass by himself. He gave little notice to me as I passed, which is probably a good thing since I was intently focused on exactly what he was doing.

That of course was eating grass. This particular park is a model 1930s working farm, and having grown up just down the road I assure you that I know the difference between the cows that graze in the fields and children who now apparently graze there as well.

Maybe an Obama administration will help fund better education, focus on fighting hunger and perhaps an increase in biofuels that could put that grass in a gastank far from that child’s reach. Or we could just elect the Libertarian candidate and let the kid just do what he wants. The grass a few feet from a pen that has horses running around all day is probably delicious.

Later I got an email from the McCain-Palin campaign letting me know I should vote tomorrow and informing me of my polling place. I scrolled to the bottom to go for the “unsubscribe me” type button, which at first seemed like a waste of time given there’s only a day left until the election. But it was the principle of the thing.

At the unsubscribe page, there were options for saying why you wanted to be taken off the list. They ranged from “Support McCain, but emails are too frequent,” “Support McCain, but don’t want to receive mail,” to “I am no longer a McCain supporter and want to be taken off the list.”

Fortunately there was a comment box, since I at no point supported McCain and certainly did not sign up for emails from said campaign. I wonder how many “For the record, I never supported John McCain and hope Senator Barack Obama has a resounding victory on election day!!!!” responses they get.

By cjhannas kids running Uncategorized