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  • Home Alone Truth: Uncle Frank’s Free Ride

    Last year, I took a closer look at the holiday classic “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”  For this Christmas, I want to delve into “Home Alone,” more specifically, why Uncle Frank is the worst and the reason behind everything bad that happens.

    It’s easy to blame Kevin.  He’s practically the youngest around, the other kids describe him as essentially helpless, he’s at the center of the major conflict in the beginning of the movie and ends up telling his own mother he wished she would vanish from the Earth.

    So not a strong start for Lil’ Kev.  But lurking nearby without any repercussions for his actions is Uncle Frank.  He’s the one who sets everything in motion.

    The first thing he does is start the process of beating Kevin down by not letting him watch the movie with everyone else.  As Kevin says, he’s “just being a jerk.”  We’re talking about a guy who will grab all your pizzas and say someone else will cover the bill.

    Uncle Frank has a son named Fuller, which is a dumb enough name that I’m sure Frank picked it.  Fuller has a known bed-wetting problem after ingesting liquids.  So what does he have with the pizza?  A Pepsi.  Who likely told him he could have it?  Perhaps a nearby parent?  The one sitting right next to him?  Looking at you, Frank.

    Oh and what’s on the other side of Uncle Frank?  That’s right, a 2-liter bottle of Pepsi, which we see just as Kevin’s mom walks past and says she hopes everyone is drinking milk.  Way to go, Frank.

    Back to Kevin.  He’s being further persecuted by brother Buzz, who informs Kevin that the family has collectively eaten the only kind of pizza Kevin likes.  It’s been like four minutes.  The pizza guy is still lurking at the front door waiting for someone to give him some cash.  Kevin makes a run at Buzz, and milk goes all over the plane tickets because NOBODY DRANK THE MILK.

    Oh Fuller’s getting up to get involved now?  I wonder where he learned to stick his nose in things that aren’t his business (see Frank, Uncle).  Also note that Kevin’s dad is now spilling the bottle of Pepsi that shouldn’t have been open in the first place.  Thank you, Frank.

    Uh oh.  Kevin, you are not going to Paris.

    Uncle Frank jumps in to lead the pitchfork mob against Kevin.  He’s extra salty because some of the spilled Pepsi got on his pants: “Look what you little jerk!”  Maybe next time don’t open the Pepsi, Frank, and you won’t have to cast blame on others.

    Frank’s method is effective though.  Now everyone’s mad at Kevin.

    At this point, how should the kid feel?  I mean, if every single person is going to look at you with daggers and call you names, wouldn’t you wish they would all disappear?   Kevin suggests they all go suck a lemon, while his mom agrees to make leakypants Fuller sleep somewhere else.

    In case you’re not fully convinced that Uncle Frank is a bad dude, he’s the kind of guy who steals salt and pepper shakers off an American Airlines flight as Kevin wakes up HOME ALONE in an attic.

    Kevin’s mom realizes during the flight that he is not with them.  She laments, “What kind of mother am I?”  Uncle Frank responds with his brand of charm, saying if it makes her feel any better, he left his glasses at home.  NOT THE SAME, FRANK.

    Frank’s brother and wife have clearly had too many years of this crap.  They know his game.  Their many wishes for him to disappear have gone unfulfilled.

    Back at home, Kevin is exhausted from a fitful night’s rest up in the attic following the trauma of the previous evening.  He falls asleep in a recliner, and is lucky he wakes up when trouble arrives.

    The kid could have been killed the first night during the events that Uncle Frank caused, but somehow rallies to ward off the danger.  And no, he wasn’t snoozing in that chair because it was super late.  After Kevin chases off the robbers the first time, he hides under his parents’ bed.  Their clock shows it’s not even 8 p.m.

    (WebMD suggests 8-year-old Kevin could have a bedtime as early as 7:30, but he was almost surely asleep before this, and given the range listed 8-8:30 is probably a more normal bedtime for him.)

    Back in France, the family is now frantic to try to reacquire Kevin.  His mom runs to a phone, kicks off a French woman and hangs up on the kind lady’s call.

    Who knows who was on the other end of that phone.  The French woman’s mother?  Boyfriend?  Therapist?  The French FBI?  Santa?  Who knows what they were discussing.  How to cook a turkey?  How to cook a turkey?  How to cook a turkey?  How to stop a terrorist from cooking a turkey?  Could Santa please bring a turkey?

    Uncle Frank is a menace who unleashes crises on multiple continents.  He must be held accountable for his actions, not Kevin.

    We also need to talk about two other quick things, starting with Kevin’s mom in that last shot.  She’s asking her sister-in-law to call everyone in her address book.  That would be the address book she brought with her on vacation to Paris.  I understand it’s not 2014 and she doesn’t have all her contacts in her iPhone.  But barring this completely freak disaster, why would she ever need even one of those numbers?  As the guy’s face behind her says it all: unplug, lady.

    And finally, back in the beginning of the movie, why does the cop-acting robber open the door when the pizza guy rings?

    If he’s a real cop, he’s not opening the door to an unknown person and then turning his back.  If he’s a robber, why add another set of eyes that could later place him in the house that he plans to rob?

    Criminals are dumb.  And Uncle Frank still sucks.

    December 12, 2014 movies
  • Signal, Noise, Baseball

    Go to download electronic copy of book: $19.99
    See book available for shipping from same merchant: $14.99
    Check their physical store for same book: $27.99

    After taking all this in, I did end up doing the ebook version of Nate Silver’s “The Signal and the Noise,” though largely because I wanted to start reading without waiting for it to be shipped.

    Silver progresses through a series of topics building a case for improving predictions and models by largely being as honest as possible with the process.  He highlights the need for good input data and especially in expressing results with degrees of confidence.  As he argues, it may get more headlines to give an emphatic yes/no kind of pick, but everyone is better served if you honestly say there’s an 85 percent yes/15 percent no chance of whatever happening.

    He focuses one chapter on economists’ forecasts for Gross Domestic Product, those periodic releases of data on how the economy is doing.  So many of the picks come out as just a number, like 3 percent growth next quarter.  But Silver says those picks tend to have what is basically a 3.2 percent margin of error, meaning a 3 percent target could in reality turn out to be 6.2 percent or -0.2 percent, which is a pretty significant difference.

    To get the best use of a GDP forecast, Silver argues that perhaps we should be reporting them with margins of error just as we do with political polls.

    “Danger lurks, in the economy and elsewhere,” he writes, “when we discourage forecasters from making a full and explicit account of the risks inherent in the world around us.”

    The most fascinating chapter of the book for me is about weather forecasting.  It’s no secret that people love to make fun of the profession, but perhaps because of my personal relationship with some meteorologists, I find myself being more of a defender.  Silver points out that weather forecasts have gotten steadily better every year, and have dramatically improved in the past 10 or so.

    But he brings up one thing that will truly make me see forecasts differently, and that’s how various outlets will talk to you about the chance of rain.  Silver says a National Weather Service forecast of 20 percent chance of rain really does play out that often, while the Weather Channel will say 20 when it actually only rains 5 percent of that time.

    Why?

    “In fact, this is deliberate and is something the Weather Channel is will to admit to,” Silver writes.  “It has to do with their economic incentives.  People notice one type of mistake — the failure to predict rain — more than another kind, false alarms.  If it rains when it isn’t supposed to, they curse the weatherman for ruining their picnic, whereas an unexpectedly sunny day is taken as a serendipitous bonus.”

    Silver also talks about the challenges and risks of judging forecasts that may be what he calls “self-defeating.”  That is, a forecast that end up affecting itself and thus not coming true.

    “The most effective flu prediction might not be one that fails to come to fruition because it motivates people toward more healthful choices.”

    And yet, how often do we see people throw up a prediction about something like flu season and say “SEE! SEE HOW WRONG YOU WERE!”  More need to talk about ranges of outcomes and think about why things turn out the way they do.

    Another chapter on his baseball model, called PECOTA, made me laugh and drop into a deep baseball-less depression.  Silver really became first known for developing PECOTA, and among other things he used it to project how minor league players would perform.  He says in the book that his model was optimistic about future stars like Ian Kinsler and Matt Kemp.

    “But have you ever heard of Joel Guzman?  Donald Murphy?  Yusemiro Petit?  Unless you are a baseball junkie, probably not.  PECOTA liked those players as well.”

    Yes, Nate, I HAVE HEARD OF YUSEMIRO PETIT.  Granted, this book came out two years ago, but just last month I sat freezing in Nationals Park as the San Francisco Giants outlasted my beloved Nats 2-1 in an 18-inning game that was the longest in MLB postseason history.

    Petit pitched six innings in relief for the Giants that night, allowing only one hit and earning the win as the Giants grabbed a commanding 2-0 lead in the best-of-five series.

    I guess I can’t hold Silver responsible for the emotional effects of his forecast coming true.  This is a great book for those interesting in modeling, data or just thinking about how we talk about the world around us.

    November 22, 2014 books Uncategorized
  • Breaking Red

    A few months ago, I asked my friend Brooke for a book recommendation.  She described her pick as: “Hunger games on steroids from the male perspective.  With bonus space colonization.”

    That was all I needed to get into Pierce Brown’s “Red Rising.”  After reading, I might add meth to Brooke’s description.

    The best comp I can give it is “Catching Fire,” the second book in the Hunger Games series.  The methodically building drumbeat of the plot makes it impossible to put down.  My only complaint is that I was under the impression the second book in this series was already out, but when I went to purchase it I discovered it won’t be released until January.  THANKS, BROOKE.

    “Red Rising” follows a teenager named Darrow who is a superstar worker in a mining colony underground on Mars.  This universe has colonies on all the planets and moons governed by a master race of people, and a society delineated by colors.  The highest are the Golds, while Darrow and his Reds sit at the bottom.

    Darrow is plugging along in life, aware that the system he lives under is pretty unfair, but not sure what exactly he can do to change anything.  His wife, Eo, is a fireplug of a young woman who wants nothing more than to upend the entire structure.  She pushes back when Darrow talks about how his father was hanged for his activities with no apparent gains for their people.

    “Death isn’t empty like you say it is,” she says.  “Emptiness is life without freedom, Darrow.  Emptiness is living chained by fear, fear of loss, of death.  I say we break those chains.”

    A series of spoilery things unfolds, legitimately making me angry as I read on the train and leading me to tweet to Brooke in all caps wondering how I was supposed make it through work without knowing what happened next:

    @txtingmrdarcy I’ll have to settle for a day of suspense while my rage subsides
    — Chris Hannas (@cjhannas) September 23, 2014

    She questioned the wisdom of her selection:

    @cjhannas I am trying to decide if this book was a good recommendation or a REALLY BAD IDEA.
    — Brooke Shelby (@txtingmrdarcy) September 23, 2014

    But it was a good choice.  The story of Darrow fighting back under an elaborate, yet believable plan so captured my attention I flagged only a handful of passages.  He has to immerse himself in a world of the Golds he has only partially gleaned before being in their midst, and face-to-face he confronts stark realities of how and why they rule.

    “I hate them, but I hear them,” he says.

    I cannot recommend this book enough.  And if you want to be on the early curve of pop culture, it’s already been picked up to be made into a movie.  What do you need in movies?  A cast.  If Hollywood is listening, Brooke and I are ready to take our jobs as expert casting directors:

    @cjhannas That’s a good call. I pictured Sam Claflin as Darrow, Jena Malone as Mustang (i tend to go older, apparently) and…. Eo?
    — Brooke Shelby (@txtingmrdarcy) October 15, 2014

    @txtingmrdarcy Totally on board with Claflin. Let’s make the other kid Cassius. Samantha Barks (?) for Eo?! Liam for Fitchner?
    — Chris Hannas (@cjhannas) October 15, 2014

    We’ll have to wait and see who gets the real roles.  But for now, as of this moment you have 46 days to read this book before the next one comes out.  Get to work!

    November 21, 2014 books Uncategorized
  • Brief Wondrous Blog Post

    If you obsessively check here for new posts you’re about to think I’m going to skip eating and breathing this weekend in favor of reading.  Somehow I haven’t done a book post since mid-September, and combined with the fact that I have actually been reading, there are four I need to talk about.

    Here we’re just going to worry about the first — Junot Diaz’s “The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.”

    This is one of those books I’ve walked past or picked up in a bookstore roughly 2.8 billion times before I actually committed to reading it.

    The story is a multi-generational tale from one family and multiple narrators.  Diaz does a really incredible job of differentiating their voices so that even with no labeling you would easily know who was talking.  Remember this when I get to the fourth book (the final in the Divergent series), which I think is equally as poor as “Oscar Wao” is good in this department.

    For much of the story Oscar is the main focus.  He’s a nerdy, awkward kid who struggles to be “normal” in many social settings and yet outwardly maintains a sort of detached attitude about his results.  It’s as if in his failures he sees in retrospect he should not have expected success and adopts that as a memory instead of seeing that view as hindsight.

    One of the other narrators, who at one point dates Oscar’s sister, Lola, describes one episode of Oscar’s charm:

    “Oscar’s idea of a G was to talk about role-playing games!  How fucking crazy is that?  (My favorite was the day on the E bus when he informed some hot morena, If you were in my game I would give you an eighteen Charisma!)”

    I most enjoyed being led along this story by Lola, who is a few years older than Oscar.  Diaz gives her a certain thoughtfulness that comes with having to grow up early and take care (in certain ways) of both her mother and brother.

    She talks at one point about discovering her mother’s breast cancer, beginning that story with, “It’s never the changes we want that change everything.”

    I think I would disagree with that slightly — I shy away from using that kind of absolute — but I think saying it’s rarely the changes we want that change everything is accurate.  Yes, there are a few cases in which a surprise is positively life changing, say a job offer out of the blue.  But most often it’s the negatives that blow up your world.

    Lola isn’t on the same level of dorkdom as Oscar, but she’s studious and likes to read.  She describes part of her life in which she wanted to get away from all the responsibilities that had been thrown on her shoulders.

    “All my favorite books from that period were about runaways.  “Watership Down,” “The Incredible Journey,” “My Side of the Mountain.”

    This sentence made me wonder how many people reading this book are like me and have also read “Watership Down” and “My Side of the Mountain.”  We need a form of Google for this.

    When I was a kid, my neighbors gave me “My Side of the Mountain” as a birthday gift.  It’s the kind of book that has a map in the front, the ones you study for a few minutes before getting to the text even though you know there’s no chance you’ll remember anything useful without learning the context.  The main character is living on his own in the woods (I think he sleeps inside a tree?) and has a pet falcon.  As a boy, that’s a pretty dope protagonist.

    “Watership Down” was one of the required summer reading books for my 10th grade GT English class.  I thought it was going to be the most boring book in existence, but mainly because I didn’t know what the word “lapine” meant.  The reading list had a description of each title, and I read this one to my mom in a mock aristocratic tone, thinking that “lapine society” involved people with powdered wigs.  She let me finish, then informed me that lapine meant it was a story about rabbits.  It was fantastic.

    Back to Oscar — I should never have put this book down in the bookstore.  It can be super depressing at times, but I think that makes you better appreciate the highs and the beauty elsewhere.  I also should have been less engrossed in the story and flagged more things.

    I’ll close with this insight from Diaz, which I don’t think need any caveats:

    “Success, after all, loves a witness, but failure can’t exist without one.”

    November 21, 2014 books Uncategorized
  • Putting the Green in Evergreen Terrace

    The greatest projects in history spring from people recognizing needs that are holding society back and taking steps to address them.

    About a month ago, I moved into a new place with new bookshelves and a vision for what would go on them.  One of those things was my Simpsons LEGO house.  But what I did not think about was that the open slats on the top of the shelf gave little stable room for the LEGO Simpsons characters:

    Time for bold action.

    Step 1: Acquire a piece of wood
    Step 2: Acquire three colors of paint
    Step 3: Apply said paint to said wood

    Hello Simpsons yard, sidewalk, driveway and bonus foundation (clearly I spent more time doing the visible parts):

    Project manager Maggie approves:

    Homer and Marge invited the whole town over for a barbecue to celebrate their new yard:

    Naturally Ned is manning the grill, and even though hot dogs are in his near future, Homer still brought a donut with him.  Chief Wiggum is trying to talk some sense into Homer while ignoring the assault of Krusty that’s about to happen behind him.  That’s a police department with its priorities in line.

    November 16, 2014 Simpsons Uncategorized
  • Bailing or: How I Learned to Hate Dating

    There are not many ways to make me mad, but being inconsiderate will quickly get you there.  Even better, waste my time while you’re at it.

    The last two months have featured an epidemic of people doing this.  And by people I mean dates.  Since early September, six out of the last seven times I’ve had a date set, she has canceled at the last minute.  Actually that’s not quite accurate since two of them stood me up without even taking three seconds to tell me as much.

    I’m not perfect.  I completely understand if someone doesn’t want to hang out with me.  But saying you want to, agreeing to a particular day (perhaps even with a specific activity), and then not following through is pretty lame.

    There’s nothing my friends like more than crazy dating stories, and I have enough to keep them entertained for hours, so let’s dive into some specifics.

    Girl The First was the simplest.  We talked for a few weeks, every few days or so, before deciding to meet up for dinner on a Friday night.  She seemed pretty excited (“yes mexican!!!!”), but then Friday arrived and I asked her what time she wanted to meet up:

    Not feeling well is a perfectly valid excuse.  You lose me a bit when the reason is drinking too much the night before.  You lose me further when you shared this information pretty much at the time we should be getting together and only because I asked.  Moving on.

    Girl The Second.  Same beginning — a couple weeks of here-and-there chatting and then deciding to get together.  This time it was for a drink on a Wednesday night very close to where I live.  I asked around 4 p.m. when she would be free, and three hours later she told me her phone had been dead all afternoon.  That’s cool.  That happens to all of us at one time or another.

    But then she didn’t answer my question, and by 7:30 I asked if she still wanted to get together.  She said no, citing work, which is another excuse I’m completely ok with (at least one time).  She asked for a reschedule time, which led to this:

    She floated Thursday, we settled on Friday, and her smiley face made me feel like there was little chance that would fall through.  Silly me.  Friday arrived, and again I asked when she would be free (her work schedule is pretty fluid).  Her response?

    Well, I’m still waiting on that.  I figure it’s polite to give someone a 30-day grace period and it’s only been 29.

    That brings us to Girl The Third.  We actually did go on a date and both had a nice time.  We talked pretty much every day after and agreed to see each other again on a Thursday night.

    If you don’t know about my life schedule, Thursday is the start of my weekend after working overnights, so I have to sleep during the day and usually get up around 6 if there’s nothing going on.  On the night in question, I got up early, a little before 4, so that I could get ready and drive about 90 minutes through traffic to her place for a movie night.

    As I got ready to walk out the door, I finally got a reply to my message asking for her address.  It wasn’t her address.  It was her excuse for canceling: “I’m suuuuuper tired.”  It’s fine to be tired and not up to hanging out.  But you’re not going to get much sympathy from the person who undoubtedly got less sleep than you, got up early for you, and was about to endure ridiculous traffic to get to the place where you literally just had to sit on the couch.

    Whatever.  She asked when we could have a make-up, and we agreed on last Wednesday.  On Monday, our conversation included her alluding to having picked up extra shifts on Tuesday and Wednesday — yes, that Wednesday.  Fine.

    It was at this point that multiple friends and even my sister-in-law gave this whole situation a big, giant NOPE.

    Possibly.

    I wish it didn’t.

    Should have.


    Me too.

    Did I listen?  Of course not.  I’m not that smart.  Instead I decided I would give her another shot and asked when she wanted to try again.  She told me Friday (last night) and I said that was good with me.  Her response? “Yay!”

    Again, like an idiot, I let myself believe that enthusiasm would translate into actually ending up in at least the same city at the same time.  Potentially learning from my earlier troubles, I asked her way earlier in the day what time she would be free.  Her response?  Um, well, a day later I’m still waiting on that.

    TL;DR: If you don’t want to spend time with someone, just say so.  Honesty is pretty cool.

    November 15, 2014 Uncategorized
  • rAd Baseball

    Early this morning (Washington time), the Adelaide Bite lost to the Perth Heat 6-0 in the first of their four-game series in the Australian Baseball League.

    Why is this important?  Because with a sudden hole in my baseball life thanks to the end of the Major League season I have adopted Adelaide as my team to follow throughout the cold North American winter.

    The main reason I chose them is their city has a fun nickname, rAdelaide, plus the starting pitcher today was a guy named Matt Williams, which just happens to be the same as the manager of my beloved Washington Nationals.

    To add to my pain this morning, my desk neighbor at work (is that a thing?) is coping with the World Series loss of his beloved Kansas City Royals by following the Perth squad.  He was quite pleased with their resounding victory.

    The league is pretty interesting compared to what we’re used to.  There are only six teams, and the atmosphere of their stadiums is akin to what you would expect for a A or AA team here. 

    Our squads also have pretty legit corporate sponsorships that include patches on the jerseys and awkward mentions in game stories on their websites.

    For example, Perth’s sponsor is “Alcohol. Think Again.”  Their deal includes all kinds of things from signs in the park encouraging responsible drinking, to limits on alcohol sales and even stipulations that lower-alcohol beverages be available at cheaper prices than their higher-content brethren.

    In stories though, it’s beyond strange to see: “The Alcohol. Think Again Perth Heat played the Sydney Blue Sox in their third consecutive game…

    My team’s sponsor is easier to work in, but the lede to today’s story is downright amazing with the Perth sponsor in there:

    The Adelaide Bite, proudly presented by SA Power Networks went head to head against the Alcohol. Think Again Perth Heat in game one of their four game series at Norwood Oval…

    At the rAdelaide park, they seem to be a bit less concerned about alcohol consumption, offering $5 beer specials.  But unlike such promotions at MLB stadiums, you can only get the cheaper drinks until the end of the first inning, so arrive early.

    A few more 6-0 shutouts and they may need to stretch that to the third or fourth inning in order for Bite fans to cope.  But I’m confident they will bounce back and make a run at the Claxton Shield, which is pretty epic.

    November 13, 2014 baseball Uncategorized
  • Cola Buzz

    In idle moments, sometimes the relic from my past would creep into my mind.  It was only part of my life for a short time, and then, gone.  Its ghost lingered, partially because I couldn’t for the life of me figure out where it went.

    And then, years later, wrapped in paper inside a container at the bottom of a box, it suddenly reappeared:

    A can of Buzz Cola.

    If you’re not familiar, Buzz is the soda brand in The Simpsons.  When the show spawned a movie, they did a promotional deal with 7-Eleven selling Buzz cans along with Squishee-branded Slurpee cups.  Naturally, I had to get them, along with the Krusty O’s cereal and Radioactive Man comic book:


    But then I moved, and before leaving my former home in Florida I got rid of a bunch of stuff.  That was the last time I remembered seeing the soda can.  I figured I accidentally threw it out with some bunch of trash.

    I moved again.  And then a second time.  All the other relics were accounted for, but still no Buzz Cola.  Last month, I moved a third time, fully exploring a set of kitchen-related things I somehow hadn’t opened at my last few stops.  I unwrapped a set of four glasses and salt and pepper shakers.  In the same area, a lone item the same size remained obscured in the National Geographic pages I had used to wrap fragile things in Florida.

    I had absolutely no clue what it could be.  I slowly peeled back the pages and held the can in all its Buzzy glory.  The world is once again complete.

    November 5, 2014 Simpsons Uncategorized
  • Blanding Identity, Bro

    I’ve gone through stretches in the past where I haven’t posted much, but this time I have what I think is a valid excuse.  I moved a few weeks ago, which included going about a week with no Internet access at home.  Try as I may, it is difficult to post things on said Internet when you can’t get there.

    The move meant saying goodbye to a place where I lived for 5.5 years, but only going a mile and a half up the street.  More importantly, it was the end of an era in which pulling out my driver’s license made me different.

    The Commonwealth of Virginia switched from color licenses to black-and-white ones in the spring of 2009.  Weeks before that change went into effect, I moved into that previous house, and thus got what had to be one of the last color licenses when I changed my address with the DMV.

    That brought on many instances of fascination with friends — particularly those who are newish to Virginia and didn’t know the color ones ever existed.

    Now I’m just another bland Virginian.  Or at least, that’s what I thought when the new one arrived last week.

    Then I looked closer, and discovered I have a new attribute I had no idea existed.  Virginia officially thinks I have bro eyes:

    A photo posted by Chris Hannas (@cjhannas) on

    Now I need to work on my fauxhawk game.

    October 30, 2014 Uncategorized
  • UnNatural End

    I’m sitting on the couch watching the Washington Capitals.  I should be at Nationals Park watching game five of the National League Division Series.

    That’s not just wistful thinking, it’s math or fate or some combination of the two.

    For three years the Nationals have been exactly .500 in games I’ve attended, going 7-7 in 2011, 10-10 in 2012 and 11-11 in 2013.  This year they finished the regular season 12-11 before losing two playoff games.

    I was sure that at 12-13, they would win games three and four in the best-of-five series against the San Francisco Giants.  They had to.  We needed a game five win to get me back to .500.

    But baseball, for all of its beauty, can be cruel.  And so here I am looking at guys skating around a sheet of ice rather than gliding across a diamond of grass and dirt, hoping to make good on the promise of what was a remarkably fun season.

    Twice we saw Stephen Strasburg strike out 11 batters (they were Padres in April, Phillies in June).

    In May, Jayson Werth robbed a home run for the final out of a win over the Mets.  A few days later, Denard Span went 5-for-5 on his way to setting a new team record for hits in a season.

    August was walk-off month.  Bryce Harper beat the Mets with a 13th-inning blast.  Adam LaRoche hit a homer in the 11th against the Diamondbacks for the Nats’ third-straight walk-off win.  We watched as they kept the party rolling with a walk-off on an error — the fifth walk-off in the span of six games and their 10th win in a row.

    September was even more special.  While the Nats cruised to a division championship, we witnessed a pitching performance that comes along once in a lifetime as Jordan Zimmermann threw a no-hitter against the Marlins.  In his next start, we cheered as he walked off the mound one out away from a complete game shutout in the playoffs.  We had no idea what heartbreak lay ahead.

    This year in addition to logging starting pitchers for each team I also kept track of which shirt I wore to each game.  I was hoping one would emerge as a truly lucky article of clothing, but that didn’t happen.  The only ones with winning records were my Harper jersey (4-3) and racing presidents shirt (1-0).

    This one, however, may have to be retired:

    The Nats went 1-4 when I wore that to the park.  So if you’re looking for a scapegoat for how things played out this year, blame it on the blue shirt.  Can’t wait until next season.

    October 9, 2014 baseball Uncategorized
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