There are not many ways to make me mad, but being inconsiderate will quickly get you there.  Even better, waste my time while you’re at it.

The last two months have featured an epidemic of people doing this.  And by people I mean dates.  Since early September, six out of the last seven times I’ve had a date set, she has canceled at the last minute.  Actually that’s not quite accurate since two of them stood me up without even taking three seconds to tell me as much.

I’m not perfect.  I completely understand if someone doesn’t want to hang out with me.  But saying you want to, agreeing to a particular day (perhaps even with a specific activity), and then not following through is pretty lame.

There’s nothing my friends like more than crazy dating stories, and I have enough to keep them entertained for hours, so let’s dive into some specifics.

Girl The First was the simplest.  We talked for a few weeks, every few days or so, before deciding to meet up for dinner on a Friday night.  She seemed pretty excited (“yes mexican!!!!”), but then Friday arrived and I asked her what time she wanted to meet up:

Not feeling well is a perfectly valid excuse.  You lose me a bit when the reason is drinking too much the night before.  You lose me further when you shared this information pretty much at the time we should be getting together and only because I asked.  Moving on.

Girl The Second.  Same beginning — a couple weeks of here-and-there chatting and then deciding to get together.  This time it was for a drink on a Wednesday night very close to where I live.  I asked around 4 p.m. when she would be free, and three hours later she told me her phone had been dead all afternoon.  That’s cool.  That happens to all of us at one time or another.

But then she didn’t answer my question, and by 7:30 I asked if she still wanted to get together.  She said no, citing work, which is another excuse I’m completely ok with (at least one time).  She asked for a reschedule time, which led to this:

She floated Thursday, we settled on Friday, and her smiley face made me feel like there was little chance that would fall through.  Silly me.  Friday arrived, and again I asked when she would be free (her work schedule is pretty fluid).  Her response?

Well, I’m still waiting on that.  I figure it’s polite to give someone a 30-day grace period and it’s only been 29.

That brings us to Girl The Third.  We actually did go on a date and both had a nice time.  We talked pretty much every day after and agreed to see each other again on a Thursday night.

If you don’t know about my life schedule, Thursday is the start of my weekend after working overnights, so I have to sleep during the day and usually get up around 6 if there’s nothing going on.  On the night in question, I got up early, a little before 4, so that I could get ready and drive about 90 minutes through traffic to her place for a movie night.

As I got ready to walk out the door, I finally got a reply to my message asking for her address.  It wasn’t her address.  It was her excuse for canceling: “I’m suuuuuper tired.”  It’s fine to be tired and not up to hanging out.  But you’re not going to get much sympathy from the person who undoubtedly got less sleep than you, got up early for you, and was about to endure ridiculous traffic to get to the place where you literally just had to sit on the couch.

Whatever.  She asked when we could have a make-up, and we agreed on last Wednesday.  On Monday, our conversation included her alluding to having picked up extra shifts on Tuesday and Wednesday — yes, that Wednesday.  Fine.

It was at this point that multiple friends and even my sister-in-law gave this whole situation a big, giant NOPE.

Possibly.

I wish it didn’t.

Should have.

Me too.

Did I listen?  Of course not.  I’m not that smart.  Instead I decided I would give her another shot and asked when she wanted to try again.  She told me Friday (last night) and I said that was good with me.  Her response? “Yay!”

Again, like an idiot, I let myself believe that enthusiasm would translate into actually ending up in at least the same city at the same time.  Potentially learning from my earlier troubles, I asked her way earlier in the day what time she would be free.  Her response?  Um, well, a day later I’m still waiting on that.

TL;DR: If you don’t want to spend time with someone, just say so.  Honesty is pretty cool.