For those worried about my work ethic…well it’s at a lowpoint, but my paper is done! Now all I have to do is read for 30 minutes while pretending to be a news anchor–for those of you in the area, which I believe is no one, Maryland Newsline is about to get Hannasified. Then it’s home for a day. Then the beach. Then an entire week in which I literally have zero obligations. Can’t beat that.
My brain has taken over my life. Seriously. All it has to do is put its foot down about what it wants done, and BOOM, that’s what I do.
And in the last few days, that’s been procrastination. Brain says “hey, uhh, you know what we should do?” And I say, look brain, I don’t care what you think we should do, I need to work on a paper or a script, one or the other, so pick one of those. Brain says, “Screw that, we’re procrastinating, and since I control all of your function, that’s what we’re going to do.”
So the brain won. I procrastinated like I was a senior in college…oh wait, that wasn’t that long ago…Well anyway, long story short, or long, instead of working on a mere 5 page paper or on a script for a news package (the LAST two assignments of the summer), I played video games and did random tasks that serve generally no worldy purpose other than to satisfy my OCD-fed need for neatness and order in my personal space.
But you know what, finishing the LAST things in any semester is always a problem. There’s something about thinking that there’s so little left to do, that you just can’t bring yourself to do it. Oh well. In exactly four days I’ll be in Ocean City for vacation, and there’s no work there for me to put off…Rock.
Arbitrary things shouldn’t control us…right? I mean, there are so many decisions that end up as a slightly better than random solution, borderline complete guesses as to how the situation should be handled.
Take microwaves. These things are the king recipients of arbitrary decisions. Need to cook hot dogs? How about a minute. But when was the last time you stopped it at 2 seconds? No no, couldn’t possibly do that, what if they’re not done yet? You’ll never notice the difference.
If there’s one thing in this world that paaaaaaaains me to do, it’s setting a microwave for a “normal” time like 1 minute or 30 seconds. There’s no point. They may seem like nice correct numbers, but that hot dog cooks just as well at 29 seconds as it does at 32, let alone 30…so why not pick a number that’s more fun? Everyone does 30. 30 is easy. Branch out. Remember, you’re bigger than the microwave, and like computers, casts, small rocks and staplers, you should never lose to anything that is smaller than you.
So it’s my birthday. I don’t generally like birthdays, it’s just another day that in my childhood happened to include a cake and gifts. Now I’m a fan of both cake and gifts, but birthdays are nothing to go crazy over.
Especially now that I’m old. I mean seriously, I have to tell people that I’m 22 ancient years old and in 8 months will also have to say I have a master’s degree. That’s freaking old.
I feel a strong urge to go to Toys R’ Us and buy something, anything, just to stave off the whole aging process, or find that time machine from Napoleon Dynamite to go back to a much cooler age like 19. Or maybe I should just have some tots.
I was also informed that as a 22 year old, alcohol is no longer allowed. I had a year to get in all the drinking I wanted for my entire life, and now it’s time to coast on out. I think it’s cyclical, age 42 and 63 will be trashfests I’m sure.
The world is such a lovely place lately isn’t it? With terrorist attacks and wars, genocides and homicides, carjackings and just general disrespect, it’s great to be around other people now, right? Imagine what it would be like if everyone was 5 percent nicer in their day-to-day dealings or spent 5 percent less time thinking about what’s best for themselves and opened up their eyes to the rest of the world.
Sure, there are times when you have to do what’s best for you and you alone, but that’s an extreme and how often are extremes the best course of action 100 percent of the time? That doesn’t work for political systems, sentencing guidelines or much else, so there’s little reason to think that’s the way to go with people.
It’s surprising and a bit dismaying how often people treat kindness and someone who gives any part of themself to help another person with shock. Has it come to this? People should not treat kindness with a questioning eye as if the metric system has suddenly taken over or cell phones have been outlawed in the United States.
Think about what you can accomplish in 5 seconds. Think about what you can accomplish in 2 minutes. Think about what you can accomplish in 2 hours.
Is it going to kill you to pick up that piece of trash you dropped, or even the one that *GASP* someone else dropped and you pick up even though nobody’s paying you to do it? What about when you’re riding down the escalator at the Union Station after your lunch break and a homeless man falls down at the bottom of the escalator? Can you spare two minutes to help him up and ask if he’s okay?
5 seconds, 2 minutes, 2 hours may seem like a lot of time to give to another person, after all you could spend that time sleeping, checking away messages or playing video games. But before using “your” time, think about what 5 seconds, 2 minutes, or 2 hours could mean to someone else.
To quote Aesop, “No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.”
So during what can only be categorized as “thinking time,” the following question came up in my mind: Could our wonderful president (I use the term wonderful in the loosest and most sarcastic forms possible, I promise) nominate himself to fill the pending Supreme Court vacancy left by Sandra Day O’Connor?
Think about it. He can only be president for a few more years, which has its perks, but as a Supreme Court justice he’s set for life. That’s a guaranteed sweet paycheck with no possibility of being fired no matter how little people agree with you or your job performance. Is there a better gig in America? I think not. So if you are a lame duck president, why not put yourself up for the court? Even if you suck as a president, why not at least give it a shot?
In reality, there is the slimmest of chances of this actually working since you would need to be so immensely popular with the fine folks in the Senate, (and those American people folks who might punish those Senators when reelection time rolls around) that such a thing will never reach history books.
And also, if you are going to make a big announcement in prime time of your nomination, at least make it entertaining. Maybe have a sense of humor? Mr. Bush, (pronounced Mr. Rove), you run the greatest PR machine on the planet right now, (including diverting attention away from your own *gulp* mistakes), so why not make this fun for everyone? Why not start the announcement with a fake choice to see who is really paying attention.
My fellow Americans, I’d like to announce Mr. Jose Padilla as my nominee for the Supreme Court of the United States. He’s a minority, and knows firsthand many of the pressing issues of our day including holding captives for long periods without any sort of judicial proceeding, and for that reason alone I think he’d be great. pause. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5….Oh just kidding, I hope that sucker fries some day (shoots off gun, chokes on pretzel)…I nominate…I nominate…(who did you…I mean I…choose again?) I nominate this guy…
I’ve got a weird exhausted numb frustration vibe going on. The past few weeks have been a strange series of things getting bad, then not so bad, then worse than they were, then a little less bad and then worst and then somehow better. Getting through Saturday should help.
There’s nothing worse than sleeping a lot and waking up completely exhausted, though I guess I’ve never gone through a weekend so exhausting on so many levels. Then there’s having to sit in a class and listen to a lecture or try to write a story when you want to be someplace else.
Being done with these three classes, the finals, the getting stories published after being hung out to dry, the constant fear of spelling something wrong and getting an F…and then the viewing and then the funeral.
Sunday is the start of better things.
I have once again experienced the greatest birth control known to man, one that is completely free and for anyone in their right mind should be 100 percent effective. It’s called, other people’s kids.
After watching for years as parents tried to fit their kids for shoes, and those kids did everything possible to thwart such a simple operation, and then today babysitting high school kids at journalism camp, there is no doubt in my mind that children are pure evil put on the earth to drive older beings insane.
They serve no other purpose, and if it wouldn’t mean the end of mankind I would suggest they be stricken from the earth.
I think I have somewhat of a reputation for being pretty laid back, that is, that I don’t really let anything get to me and remain ultimately optimistic about things. Today was a good example of why.
I’m woke up this morning feeling like a truck hit me, which wasn’t all that unexpected considering I spent all day Saturday hauling around a video camera in the sun and felt pretty sick on Sunday. But there was also the fact that I absolutely had to shoot an interview today and did not have one lined up. And that I have to have two more articles published in the newspaper by next week, and the editor I was in contact with no longer works for the paper.
But hey, what kind of optimist would I be if I let that stuff get me down? Things have a way of working out, especially if you chill out and think rather than freaking out and letting emotions keep you from getting done what you need to get done.
Everything that needed to happen today happened, and hopefully tomorrow I won’t wake up feeling like death. But even if I do, it’ll work out.