Dear friends at Taco Bell,

I have a rare complaint.  First, though, I’d like to use the time honored method of cutting the tension between us by saying something nice before I get into the bad stuff.

So, thank you for the recent change at my local Taco Bell beverage station.  My drink of choice is mixing half Baja Blast Mountain Dew and half Sangrita Blast Mountain Dew.  Until recently, the buttons for these drinks were far apart, on opposite ends of the four dispensing nozzles.  But now they are conveniently located in the same nozzle grouping for my convenience.

Now that we have the positive development out of the way, we have no choice but to go down the dark path of wretchedness that is unfolding.

I had read from various sources — most I assume are Taco Bell employees at various locations in the United States — that you were going to be bringing back the Diablo hot sauce packets.  I was okay with this information.  There are multiple sauces available, and while I am personally not interested in Diabloing my food, surely there are some who will be happy to do so.

But then I read about the accompanying move.  With the return of Diablo would come you eliminating the Verde sauce that is a major part of my Mexican pizza routine.  Verde is unlike any of the other sauces, which are all ostensibly the same thing but on a different heat scale from Mild to Hot to Fire to Diablo.  And now you are being uncool and discarding the one that doesn’t fit in with the other kids.

Now, I understand that even considering the likely truthful source of the information, it still was coming from the internet, so there was no guarantee it was actually true.  But last night, at my beautiful local location, I asked an employee about the fate of Verde.  She pointed to the small bin in the seating area and a larger bin behind the counter.

“That’s all that’s left,” she said.

With that confirmation, I am left with only my stash at home and many future tears to season my Taco Bell treats to perfection.

And so I ask you, beseech you even (because how often do you really get a chance to beseech?) to reconsider this move and restore the supply lines that bring glorious Verde sauce into my life.

Sincerely,

cjh