This is the first of a series of posts suggested by friends on Facebook after I asked for requests.  Today’s, from Joey, is very simple: to review new Taco Bell menu items.

As Joey wrote, “You are the voice of the people who enjoy low cost Mexican food.”  I can’t imagine a better compliment.  After all, this is my Twitter bio:

My rating system here will be simple.  Since the Mexican Pizza is my idea of Taco Bell perfection, I will give each item here some fraction of a Mexican pizza, with a rating of four quarters being something I would trade you straight-up for a Mexican pizza.

While not super new, the shredded chicken mini quesadilla is one of the great throw-in items when you are feeling extra hungry.  2.4 Mexican pizza quarters.

It’s also — I’m 99.999999% sure — the only thing you can get at Taco Bell that comes in foil instead of a customer paper wrapping or box.  The result is wonderfully gooey cheese to go along with the shredded chicken, which is good in whatever menu item it’s offered.  It has just the right small amount of spice in the sauce, and for only a dollar, you really can’t go wrong.  The only thing holding this back is size since it would take roughly 11 to be a solid meal.

The newest things out right now are the crunchwrap sliders.  In theory, I should hate these since I really don’t like the long-existing crunchwrap supreme.  These come in three varieties, each at $1.  The wrapper design makes me wonder if there was originally a fourth one that got canned along the way.

Let’s start with the BLT, which I really shouldn’t like since I’m also not a fan of bacon.  Save your pitchforks on that detail, I know society shuns me (a date once came to a crashing halt when I dropped that nugget).

2.5 Mexican pizza quarters.  This is surprisingly good.  Very light, perhaps the lightest thing I’ve ever had at TB.  Thankfully it isn’t overpowering with bacon flavor, though if you are a bacon lover you might be disappointed.  Better with some mild sauce.

Next up, the spicy chicken edition.

2.6 Mexican pizza quarters.  This is ridiculously filling for a dollar, certainly making it one of the best values on the menu along with something like the shredded chicken burrito.  For a “spicy” thing, it’s also not too spicy thanks to the sauce like that in the mini quesadilla.  This may seem like an odd choice, but the verde sauce is an awesome combo with this slider.  This is definitely my favorite of the sliders.

Last, and sadly least is the beefy cheddar slider.

1.5 Mexican pizza quarters.  I could have given this rating without even eating this one.  For some reason, anything with this kind of melted cheese and beef is not up my Taco Bell alley.  As with the beefy cheese burrito, these items always have too much of the cheese and really lack some third ingredient to balance the flavor with the beef.  This is also the one that made me notice the crunchwrap shell, which is what I dislike the most about the crunchwrap supreme.  Do not eat this thing.

I’ll also take this opportunity to quickly rank the Taco Bell itself.  I was talking at work once with another Taco Bell afficionado and asked her how good a certain location was, only to get an “are you insane?” look from another coworker nearby.  I find this to be a useful system when deciding whether to make a TB stop or perhaps proceed to another location or find something else to eat.

The one by my house in Reston?  It’s a 5.5 out of 4.  It’s one of the shops with an updated interior and a staff that is nothing but ecstatically friendly to me.  In roughly six years they have never once messed up anything about my many orders.  Go see them.

For those in my general area, the others are rated as follows:

Fair Lakes — 3
Elden Street — 2
Sully Plaza — 1.5 (slooooowest one of all time)
Sterling Blvd — 1.4
Silver Spring — 1.4