I’ve never been a waiter, or any other employee who regularly depended on tips from customers.

If I were a waiter though, I would spend a lot of my time wondering if people were accurately gauging my level of service with their tips, or if they just sucked at math.

Think about it. How many people do you know who get out their cell phone calculator to figure out the tip, or spend several minutes trying out some mental math before asking someone else at the table what 15 percent of their bill would be?

There’s a good chance that of the thousands and thousands of restaurant bills each day, there’s bound to be a certain percentage with gross errors when it comes to calculating the tip. And if you’re aware of that as a waiter, it should drive you crazy not knowing how the diner really judged your performance.

I thought about that after going out for lunch today, though I should make clear that neither of my companions inspired this thinking.

Later in the day while watching football, I saw a commercial for a prescription drug that included a strange set of instructions relating to side effects. The ad was for Cialis, a pill designed to combat erectile dysfunction.

When talking about the side effects, the narrator says that if you experience a sudden loss in vision or hearing, you should immediately call your doctor.

I’ll give you a second to read that sentence again.

If you suddenly can’t A) see, or B) hear, you should call your doctor. Are you supposed to magically know your doctor’s number and where your phone is just by feeling the objects around you?

And when you successfully make the call, how is the conversation supposed to go?

You: (waits for what seems like enough time that someone would have answered) “Hi. I can’t hear you because I have experienced a sudden loss in hearing. I took Cialis, and the commercial said I should call you if I had such a symptom. I remind you that I can’t hear a word you are saying. So, I live at 123 Oak Lane. If I need immediate medical attention, please either come to my address or send emergency personnel to my location. If I do not see people arrive at my door, I will assume this condition is not that serious and will solve itself. Thank you for your assistance, and I apologize if I have been speaking at an incredibly loud volume as I cannot hear myself.”