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  • 14 Jul

    No Diving

    There may be nothing better in this universe than finishing a run on a ridiculously hot day and then jumping in a pool. It’s glorious.

    One downside is having to share pool space with kids who happen to also live in your apartment complex and by their very nature suck the relaxation out of the experience.

    But something strange is happening in the neighborhood. In the warm months leading up to the end of the school year, there were always kids at the pool. In fact, I rarely ventured up that way so that I could avoid the constant screaming and non-parental supervision madness.

    Now that school is out, you would expect the pool fiasco to only worsen. Yet for some reason, the kids have all disappeared. Maybe there’s a new Pokemon-type fad I’m not familiar with. Or perhaps they just don’t like the extra heat that Summer has so nicely provided.

    Today there were two children near the pool, in a picnic area just outside. It looked like one may be roughly 10 and the other about 6. The younger girl was sitting at a table looking miserable-as-can-be. The older girl was berating her about something. I didn’t stop to listen, a lot work remained to do in the pool.

    As my cooling-off ritual continued, so did the yelling from the older girl. She was probably babysitting the younger child, and reveling in her authority. Her style was borderline abusive, leading me to think about why people talk to others like that. Her mother probably spoke to her like that (it had that distinct overbearing mother sound).

    Just when I extremely disliked this older girl, she turned her power trip to something useful. The younger girl got up from the table and tossed her empty water bottle on the ground. That dirty litterer. The older girl sprang into action, chasing down her younger counterpart and yelling for her to “PUT YOUR DAMN BOTTLE IN THE TRASH!!!”

    The younger girl was obviously not a big fan of their relationship. She refused. The older girl spanked her. The centuries-old technique was effective and seconds later the bottle was placed in its rightful place. (Note: The rightful place would be a recycling bin, but our complex apparently does not believe in preserving the planet).

    Good thing there were no kids in the pool.

    By cjhannas kids running Uncategorized
  • 28 Feb

    What Big Eyes You Have

    This image thing has gone a little too far.

    It’s one thing for celebrities or other looks-minded adults to get plastic surgery, or for models to be airbrushed to touch up professional photos. But kids should just be kids.

    In last week’s issue of Newsweek there is an article about parents paying for touch-ups in their kids’ school photos. School. Photo. Touch-ups.

    That defeats the entire purpose of picture day. You want to capture what the kid looked like in second grade and look back later with a comical comment. If you change Timmy’s freckles or that piece of hair sticking up, you might as well just print out a random kid’s photo from the Internet.

    The article says the service started as a way to take out scrapes and bumps. That’s fine. Those are things that changed the kid’s appearance for a few days, and just happened to come at the wrong time.

    But another company cited offers customers “new hair, skin, makeup, eyebrows and even facial expressions.” That’s completely ridiculous.

    I hated picture day. I’m not the biggest fan of being in pictures today. Yet even with an ability to use Photoshop, I would never think of seriously changing a photo like that. Sure, it’s fun to put your head on Elmo’s body once in a while, but you wouldn’t change the picture you send to Grandma.

    The only good side is that people shallow enough to want to pay for such a service are allowed to hand over money to people willing to take advantage of their vanity. God bless America.

    By cjhannas kids technology Uncategorized
  • 27 Jan

    Ridiculous and Funny, but not Ridiculously Funny

    Most schools have policies on dress that seek to promote a learning environment free from distraction. Those rules can seem overbearing and out of touch with students since they are created and instituted by people who are not in the same demographic.

    And then there are the rules that make it seem like someone just needed something to enforce, so now this is happening.

    I stumbled upon this story from Kansas City, where a 4-year-old boy has been barred from his preschool because the principal says his “mohawk” is disruptive.

    I would agree with that assessment maybe 5 percent if we were talking about the 9-inch, spiked-up variety. Maybe even if it were multi-colored.

    But in this case, it’s as the father describes it, a “modern mohawk.” That’s with the strip of hair down the center maybe one setting longer on the clippers. If you’re not looking for it, you might not even know it’s there.

    Maybe we need to organize some fights in this school district. Or even a multi-school drug ring that threatens the very fabric of the education system.

    This principal obviously needs something to do. Fortunately, the father says he’s standing up to the hair tyranny and not giving in.

    That was the ridiculous. Now the funny.

    The Huffington Post says a town in Vermont will consider indicting President Bush and Veep Dick Cheney.

    On the agenda for a town meeting, whether to arrest Bush and Cheney on charges of war crimes and obstruction of justice if they ever set foot in the state of Vermont. Purely fantastic.

    I came across that news a few hours after reading an excerpt from a book about the Bush administration’s policy’s over the years.

    It’s in this week’s Newsweek, and talks about how their thinking and who they relied on for information influenced their decisions, especially regarding Iraq.

    The excerpt included one nugget about Scooter Libby and Paul Wolfowitz, who glowingly praised a book written by a friend that says Saddam Hussein was behind every major terrorist attack against America since the 1990s. That would include the first attack on the World Trade Center AND the Oklahoma City bombing.

    Now I’m not saying I have all the answer when it comes to politics and foreign policy. But the fact that very high-ranking members of our president’s inner circle have no problem tying Saddam to Timothy McVeigh does make me scratch my head a bit. And then bang it against a wall.

    The book is called “The Bush Tragedy.”

    Another book report from my project tomorrow.

    By cjhannas kids Uncategorized
  • 11 Aug

    Milestones

    So when you’re unemployed there’s a portion of the day you spend looking for and applying for jobs. No matter how committed you are that day, that time is finite. There’s only so long you can look through postings, compare your worth to the requirements, write cover letters and send the mothers out.

    Then what?

    You get to accomplish feats of entertainment that can’t be done any other time in your life. These are brought on by great boredom and a complete lack of much else to to day after day.

    This week I accomplished a major life goal by reading an entire book in one day. It was The Freedom Writers Diary, and I highly recommend it. Definitely took care of a Tuesday for me.

    Then I moved on to my good friend, TV shows on DVD. There’s no greater invention. You can be lazy and not feel that lazy because you are only doing it in 22 minute segments. Oh sure, I’ll just watch one more. Ok, one more. Next thing you know, you’ve plowed through two seasons of Arrested Development in no time. The only problem is that there’s only one season left of that great show. I guess I’ll have to move on to something else.

    I also stumbled upon a possible new method for choosing your occupation.

    I was at a park across the street from my neighborhood to measure out the trail that goes around the outside. I run there a lot and wanted to make sure I was going as far as I thought. While I was there I figured I’d take some pictures of the scenery and animals therein.

    When I was finishing up the measurement, I passed a mother and young girl who had just entered the park. A few minutes later I was standing in a barn when the girl approached me.

    “Go on, ask him,” her mother said.

    “Excuse me, do you do the hay ride?” the girl asked.

    Sadly, I was not responsible for operating the hay ride. I’ve seen it done many times, though I’m not sure of the speech that goes along with being the guide. There’s only so much you can pick up when you run by a tractor toting a trailer full of kids and their parents.

    But that did make me think of the new employment system. We should line up in front of a bank of 100 people. The jury should write down what they think our occupation should be. The leading vote-getter is our new job.

    The hay ride leaves promptly at 9 am. I will not wait for you if you’re late.

    By cjhannas books kids television Uncategorized
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