Blog

  • Going Way, Way Back

    I know you’re a fan of the archives here, but those only go back to 2005. As a special treat (read: I’m lazy today and don’t want to tackle my original blog subject), here’s some original material from February 2, 2001. Written for a creative writing class, I have resisted the urge to make any corrections. Enjoy.

    The murky pond water reflects in the noon-time sun. The water splashes and separates as an old, carved wooden canoe cuts through it. An old grizzled man, his face dripping with sweat, guides the canoe to the bank of the pond. He lands the canoe gently on the muddy grass on the side of the pond. Cautiously he emerges from his craft, his long gray mangled hair dripping from the journey. The man, Earl, grabbed the canoe and pulled it from the pond. This was no easy task as the canoe was made of solid wood. Once he had the canoe on shore, Earl took a moment to rest and contemplate what was to come for the rest of the day. Not remembering what he had to do, Earl was forced to return to his camp. He was sure to bring along the canoe, for fear someone might notice it, or even steal it. He arrived after a short walk at a small clearing in the woods. This was his home. Surrounded by trees, small bushes, and undergrowth, and on top of the bare brown dirt. This is where he slept, on the ground, with the grit of the fine dirt imbedded in his hair. He was alone except for his canoe and a box of his belongings. The box was the most important thing he had. The large black trunk with brass latched and handles, is all that remains from his past. It contains all of his possessions, everything that he cares about. Earl unhooked the brass latches and retrieved his black organizer, the only thing that tied him back to the real world. It had been three years since he had left Texas for the back woods of Louisiana.

    He was a prominent lawyer. He had a wife, a son, and a large house in the suburbs with a large yard and a new car. Every facet of his life was going well, and Earl was content. That is until Thursday December 21, a day that Earl will never forget. Like any other day, Earl woke up, got dressed, and headed to work. The trip was only twenty minutes, and Earl had done it a thousand times. He drove his red 1995 Ford Escort down the highway, going just over the speed limit as he usually did. Traffic was light, and it was a beautiful morning, so Earl decided to shave a few minutes off his commute and drive a little faster. He pushed down on the gas pedal until the car was flying down the road at ninety miles per hour. After several miles Earl checked his watch, he was making amazing time. He continued at his blistering speed, unwilling to slow down and waste the good time he was making. Suddenly in his mirror, Earl spotted a policemen closing fast, with lights and siren blazing. A pulse of fear ran through Earl, and sweat began to build on his forehead. The policemen drove right up behind Earl and directed him to the side of the road. Earl knew he would get a ticket with a large fine if he stopped. He would also be late for work for the third time this week, and maybe lose his job. So he made the decision not to stop. He pushed the car even faster and began to weave in and out of traffic. After several miles and many near collisions, Earl exited the highway. He sped down the off-ramp and ignored the red light at the base. As he passed under the light he smashed into a purple Dodge Caravan. The van, carrying a mother and two children, was split in two and thrown off the road. Miraculously no one was killed. Earl’s car was demolished, but he managed to escape injury, except for a few minor cuts and bruises. The mother in the van suffered two broken ribs, and broken jaw, and a mild concussion. The two children, both boys age seven and ten, suffered a broken arm and leg each. The policemen immediately radioed for help and proceeded to arrest Earl. An ambulance arrived a few minutes later to transport the family to the hospital. Earl was taken to the police station and was put into a cell. He called his house and spoke to his wife, Jeanne. She was irate and could not understand what would cause Earl to do what he did. He hung up the phone and sat in the corner of the cell with his head in his hands. What had he done, he thought to himself. What was he going to do?

    The day came for his trial. Earl stood before the judge in and orange prison jumpsuit and handcuffs to hear the charges against him. He was charged with reckless driving, failure to stop, failure to obey and traffic signal, reckless endangerment, and with causing the accident. He was convicted on all of the counts after a plea of no contest. He was sentenced by the judge to eleven years in prison and $2,500 in fines. He was also ordered to pay the family he hit $10,000 for medical bills and suffering. His life was over. He couldn’t imagine what the next eleven years would be like away from his family, his house, and his job. He was taken away by an officer to his home for the next eleven years, the Texas State Penitentiary.

    After just two days in prison, Earl knew he wouldn’t last. He would go crazy if he had to stay. So he put his brain to work on a way to get out. Carefully he studied his surroundings. The drain in the middle of the cement floor, the metal air vent up above, and the small cracks in the gray walls. After a week, he had devised the perfect plan. After dinner, Earl was sent to his cell. He retired to his bed and waited for the right time. He heard the guard walk down the hall, and the click of the door as he left. That was his cue. He sprang from bed and prepared is escape. He slid the bed out from the wall and tilted it on end. He managed to climb up the bed and reach the air vent above. He popped off the metal grate and climbed up inside. After crawling a short way he found himself on the roof of the building. He walked cautiously across the roof to a ladder. He climbed down and moved slowly to the fence guarding the outside of the prison. He found the section in the fence that he had noticed, which had a small gap at the bottom. He squeezed underneath the chain links and ran to freedom. It wasn’t until the next morning that they discovered he was gone, or that Earl stopped running. By then he was far away in the woods of Louisiana. That is where he now resides by himself, waiting for the day they will come and bring him back to prison. For now he sits with the box of belongings he gathered in a frantic and brief return to this house. Nobody saw him, but his family knows he was there. A note let them know where he is, and that they will probably never see him again.

  • Call Me Junior

    As a left-handed kid who played baseball — and let’s face it, a baseball fan in the 1990s — I was a huge fan of Ken Griffey Jr.

    He hit home runs. He made awesome catches in center field. He brought a youthful energy to the game that made him the most likable perennial fixture at the All Star Game.

    Oh and he had a sweet batting stance every kid mimicked in their back yard and for a few swings at baseball practice.

    Now his baseball career is over after his retirement Wednesday night.

    He leaves behind a legacy of home runs without a hint of steroid suspicion and a thousand what-ifs related to his far-too-numerous season-ending injuries. Fortunately he also leaves the Nintendo 64 game Major League Baseball with Ken Griffey Jr. Even today, it remains one of my favorite video games of all time.

    I recently reacquired a copy thanks to eBay, and though the graphics seem incredibly outdated, the game itself is as fun as ever. It’s not really a challenge — my brother and I have racked up so many wins by dozens and dozens of runs it hardly seems we could ever lose a game. In fact, we even played an entire season as the 1998 Tampa Bay Devil Rays and never felt we were in danger of not achieving perfection.

    I am also not ashamed to admit I mis-heard the lyrics to the song at the beginning of the game for a long time. Take a listen:

    Did you catch the words? I originally thought Griffey said “Home, home, homey-G.” Imagine my facepalm when my brother gave me the “are you an idiot” look with the corrected “Call, call, call me Junior,” which clearly makes more sense.

    The makers of the game also put in a nice feature after any time you make a jumping or diving catch. Griffey will respond to your efforts with something like “fantastic play” or “great catch.” So if you get bored and want someone to talk to, just hit the jump button right before you catch a fly ball (really easy), and let the following unfold:

    Griffey: “Fantastic play!”
    You: “Why thank you.”

    Now that he is retired, here’s to hoping he takes a few hours to play the N64 game and have that conversation with himself.

  • Hurry Up & Wait

    I have slept a lot of places in my life — a few different beds at home, hotels, high school desks, a nice chair on my patio in Florida.

    But not a lot compares to my attempted string of naps last night in the back seat of a Nissan Versa as it traveled from Charlotte, NC, to Dulles Airport.

    The day started off well enough, relaxing at a resort in Hilton Head, SC. It was the day after my cousin got married and the end of a great long weekend with the family.

    We left the hotel around 2 p.m. with plenty of time to get to the airport before our flight. The plan was a 5:50-something flight to Charlotte followed by an 8:06 flight home. Then it rained. The first plane was late. We missed the second one.

    And then we waited.

    Stepping into the Charlotte terminal just after 8 p.m., we saw there was a 10 o’clock flight to Dulles that seemed like an easy solution to the problem at hand. We got in the line to re-book flights along with about 30 of our best friends (or at least others in the same predicament). It was downright impressive seeing how slowly that line could move; I believe we went about 10 feet in the first hour.

    It was as if the airline crews in Charlotte had never experienced a day in which weather forced cancellations and delays, meaning lots of passengers would need to change their flights.

    I felt bad for the teenaged girl behind us, who was apparently traveling alone on her way to Miami. She struck up a conversation with an older woman behind her, from which I learned she was trying to get home so she could go to school this morning. I saw her later as we were leaving, and it looked like she was at least heading for a terminal and a possible flight home.

    By the time we got to the front of the line the 10 p.m. flight was gone. So too was our chance of flying out of Charlotte into any of the three airports in the D.C. area before 6 p.m. the next day. Not ideal.

    The decision was made to rent a car and spend the night driving home. We struck out at the first three rental agencies, who apparently weren’t willing to allow one of their precious cars to be taken to another region. Fortunately the final option had a car for us (thank you Hertz).

    When you are exhausted, you can sleep just about anywhere. On more than one occasion I have passed a lunch break at work with a nap in the back of my Nissan Altima or my former Pontiac Grand Am. The key to sleeping in any car is finding the perfect position for melding your body to the various contours of the seats.

    Usually that means finding a dozen different positions, ones you can shift to every 10-15 minutes as your body searches for true comfort.

    The night passed and we finally arrived in familiar surroundings — roughly 10 hours later than planned. Fortunately our luggage did make that elusive 10 p.m. flight and was resting comfortably at Dulles.

    A quick shuttle ride to our car, a short drive to my parents’ house, then on to my house for some quick unpacking and a bowl of oatmeal — all just in time to head to work.

    I have a feeling this is going to be a pretty good night of sleep.

    [Update: It was a great night of sleep.]

    June 1, 2010 sleep travel Uncategorized
  • Goodbye Bauer My Old Friend

    If you want to do something on a Monday night, I am now free.

    After years of looking forward to evenings filled with the glory of “24” and nerd comedy “The Big Bang Theory,” I find myself with a completely empty calendar.

    That’s what happens when one show ends after eight seasons and the other gets moved to a new time slot on Thursday nights. With all of this free time I may have to work on some new hobbies. Suggestions are welcome.

    Off the top of my head I can think of the following possibilities: bear wrestling, apple throwing, staring at squirrels, baking, curling, pro Wii bowling tour and box stacking.

    Or maybe I’ll just take a nap.

    May 24, 2010 television Uncategorized
  • Cleaning Out the Gutters

    I do not usually do much planning ahead for these posts. They often start with a feeling of “I should really post something” and I figure something out from there.

    But not today.

    I started laying the groundwork for this post nearly two months ago when I saw a flier for gutter cleaning services jammed in our screen door. Last year, it seemed like these fliers came on a daily basis and quickly found their way into our recycle bin.

    So this year I decided to collect the fliers, both to see how many we received and to see if it was just the same guy wasting another piece of paper on us over and over again. I enlisted the help of my roommates, who were easily up the task of “hey, don’t throw these away.” I wrote the date we received each one on the top of the flier and shoved them in a drawer in the kitchen.

    Here’s the stack as of May 19:

    There are only eight of them, which is many fewer than I thought there would be. Two in March (23, 29), four in April (6, 12, 23, 29) and two so far in May (3, 10).

    Because I was storing them for later, I never bothered to read any of them. It turns out they hold a few interesting nuggets. The best, by far, is at the bottom of the two full-sheet fliers. They are the same fliers with different days for when they will be doing the work in our neighborhood. The fine print reads: “Rip-off alert: Nate’s gutter cleaning is a disgruntled employee; fired for dishonest business practices[.]”

    Who knew there was so much drama in the gutter cleaning industry? I quickly shuffled through my stack of fliers and was sad to find I did not have any from this apparently dastardly gutter cleaner.

    Punctuation is not a big trend in the industry, though it looks as if there is a master flier creator somewhere who ensures they feature 96.2 percent of the exact same phrasing. If you find of these slipped in your door, let me save you the time of reading it and give you the highlights:

    -“If you have not had your gutters already cleaned (or cleaned yet)” — found in six of my eight
    -A clogged gutter “can lead to water damage to your home’s interior” — again, six of the eight
    -A checkbox for which of the three or four cleaning packages you would like
    -The individual –rarely a company–to whom you should make the check payable
    -Instructions for taping the flier to your door by some early hour

    You should also be prepared to mentally insert your own punctuation as the template is lacking in periods and the use of possessives.

    Only one of them is proud to point out “illegal workers are not used in this business.” Most of them took the time to get fancy with the use of at least one and sometimes up to THREE clipart images.

    Of the eight fliers, only two of them are duplicates. As mentioned before, the two large fliers are essentially the same. I want to give special recognition to the services of Mr. Cruz, who gave me fliers on March 29 and May 10. The use of two different colors really added to the color diversity of this collection.

    They are also the only fliers to include an enthusiastic “Thanks!” at the bottom.

    No Mr. Cruz, thank you! But sorry, we don’t need the gutters cleaned.

    May 19, 2010 Uncategorized
  • A Pearl for Press Freedom

    If you visit some Yahoo sites you’ll see a relatively new “trending” feature that shows some of the popular names and terms on the web right now.

    Today I saw Daniel Pearl’s name listed among the top 10, which was a bit surprising considering he was killed in 2002. If you are unfamiliar with his story, he was a Wall Street Journal reporter who was kidnapped and later beheaded while reporting in Pakistan.

    He made the news today because President Barack Obama signed a new law requiring the U.S. State Department to compile a list of countries that violate press freedom.

    Pearl’s story was dramatized in the 2007 film “A Mighty Heart,” starring Angelina Jolie as his wife. After his death, a collection of his writings was published under the title “At Home in the World.” I would consider it an important text for journalists since it really shows how you can tell a wide range of great stories and use your unique writing voice. Even for non-journalists I would recommend it because it really embodies the title in the way he seems so comfortable exploring and embracing cultures and people from all over the world.

    Here’s a link to my thoughts after reading the book in 2008.

    May 17, 2010 Uncategorized
  • Hail Weather!

    I can’t imagine what it would have been like to live in a world in which people didn’t have a basic understanding of the weather.

    Take hail for example. Today while I was making dinner a thunderstorm rolled through our area, and for about two minutes it looked as if the world was about to end. Out of nowhere, sunshine was replace by gusting winds and little balls of ice pummeling the ground.

    A few hundred years ago I imagine that would have been pretty terrifying. In 2010, I took out my phone and took this picture (which was promptly tweeted and sent to my roommate):


    All hail hail!

    So I guess this means Summer has arrived. A little early, but make yourself at home.

    I was going to write something today about the British elections and the potentially fascinating push for a new voting system there. But maybe it’s not that interesting to everyone, so for those who are intrigued I’ll pass along this New York Times piece.

    May 14, 2010 Uncategorized
  • The Name’s Don Bauer…or Jack Draper

    It takes a certain writing talent to be able to churn out multiple books that people will actually read. It’s one thing to have one popular book, but to have someone read three or four of your titles means you’re doing something right.

    If you have been paying attention to the book blogs, you certainly know John Steinbeck is high on my list. Raymond Chandler is an author I know won’t disappoint me with his tales of hard-boiled detective Philip Marlowe.

    I was first introduced to Chandler in a college English class. It was one of those courses that at the time seemed unduly difficult but looking back is just the type of educational challenge I wouldn’t mind revisiting. Each of our major papers in the class was preceded by two or three smaller thought writings that all led into the bigger effort. We had to meet with the professor and basically discuss our thoughts and arguments for the papers before and after we wrote them.

    One of the professor’s favorite things to say was, “yes, but what are the implications of that?” It wasn’t enough to have a thesis and an argument to support it — you had to explore what followed from that argument.

    Chandler’s “The Long Goodbye” was a major part of the theme we explored that semester: The Jewish detective novel. If you are a fan of Jack Bauer or Don Draper, then Philip Marlowe is the detective for you. He has the no-nonsense, anything-for-justice streak of Bauer and the suave, crisp style and mannerism of Draper.

    Because of the genre I won’t reveal any of the plot of this one, but do have two notes. First, I have to mention the use of the word “weisenheimer,” which is massively underrated in our language. The second is an excerpt that gives a bit of an insight into Chandler’s writing style (Marlowe is narrating):

    “She put my card beside a pile of freshly type letterheads. She leaned back and put one arm on the desk and tapped lightly with a small gold pencil. I grinned at her. The little blonde at the PBX cocked a shell-like ear and smiled a small fluffy smile. She looked playful and eager, but not quite sure of herself, like a new kitten in a house where they don’t care much about kittens.”

    Now that’s a description you don’t hear very often.

    The problem for me is that I am nearly at the end of Chandler’s collection. I think there are only three or four of his books that I haven’t yet read and mystery novels are not as re-readable as other genres. Fortunately, Barnes & Noble seems to have other books available, and there’s also this Internet thing I have been hearing about that may offer some other titles.

    May 14, 2010 books Uncategorized
  • Cash for Trash

    There may be no greater site on the Internet than eBay.

    I mean, ESPN.com is pretty good. CNN.com has some good stuff. Weather.com can be useful. But when you want to turn trash into cash, those don’t do you any good.

    A few weeks ago I was helping my mom clean out a closet in her basement. Our church was having a rummage sale and it seemed like the good excuse for getting a bunch of old crap out of that closet.

    I wish I had a picture of the “before” state of the space, with 25 years of our childhood games and puzzles and other assorted random stuff piled in there. I was shocked at the number of games that actually had all of their pieces.

    But key to making that day great for me was finding the boxes that contained our Game Gears. If you don’t recall, Game Gear was the handheld video game system made by Sega. I think there were three of them in our family and a host of games to go with them.


    The stash of vintage games

    Sometime last year my younger brother and I had dug them out and found they didn’t work all that well. So when it came time to clean out the closet, they were marked for the trash. I took the box of games all the way out to the trashcan outside before realizing that in 2010, there is someone in the world who will buy just about anything.

    Thanks to eBay, I was able to find that person, and will soon have $18 for something I was perfectly willing to just throw away.

  • Can a Beetle Get Some Privacy?!

    One of the advantages of a job in international journalism is the exposure to stories from all over the globe.

    When I work the Europe desk, I often read The Guardian newspaper. Based in London, it has a great mix of hard news from the continent and interesting features you don’t see much of in the U.S. papers.

    Like a story that says if you watch “Planet Earth” or other nature shows on the Discovery Channel, you are violating the animals’ right to privacy. I definitely didn’t think about them that way before.

    The article cites a study that says we are peering into intimate moments in the lives of the animals. The author says when those animals move to quieter locations to avoid our prying eyes, filmmakers just create new technologies to get even close.

    And since it seems like a solid half of nature programming involves mating, maybe he has a point.

    Supporters of the programming say it serves to increase our knowledge of the natural world and doesn’t raise the ethical alarm bells argued in the study.

    May 1, 2010 Uncategorized
1 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 86
Archives