There are news stories, and then there are news stories.

What makes a truly interesting story in my book is one in which there is a detail nobody would expect.

Take the recent news that researchers found traces of cocaine in 90 percent of their U.S. dollar samples. Read this version from the Associated Press via Yahoo News.

About two-thirds of the way through the story, the article quotes a spokeswoman from the Bureau of Printing and Engraving. We all know by this point how the cocaine got on the money–there’s no question.

But the spokeswoman gives us a quote to make things absolutely, 100 percent, crystal-freaking clear. The writer sets it up by saying nothing in the money-printing process “would taint the paper with the drug.”

“When it leaves here, it does not have any cocaine in it,” the spokeswoman said. Who read two-thirds of that article and said, “I wonder if there’s a chance the cocaine somehow came from printing the dollar bills? I wish they would ask the Bureau of Engraving and Printing to address this possibility”

Only after this helpful quote does the article lay everything out for the sheltered crowd: “Money can become contaminated with cocaine during drug deals or when users snort the substance through rolled bills.” Ohhhhhhhhhh. Thanks for clearing that up.

On another note, someone should give lots of extra dollars bills–tainted or not–to the person who invented Smiley Fries. I had some of these tasty delights for the first time in forever tonight.

How can you go wrong with a food that is smiling at you? I can think of two–the fries and goldfish–and both are fantastic. Maybe Teddy Grahams smile too. I defy you to find a food product with a smile that isn’t delectable.