We recently have welcomed the Mouse clan into our fine apartment here in Maryland. That’s Miles Mouse and Maury Mouse, brothers who entered through a vent in Jason’s closet and took up residence underneath the couch and in the underbelly of the fridge.

This is no ordinary tale of unwanted rodents though, as Maury Mouse–not to be confused with Mighty Mouse–appeared only after the death of his brother. (The death of Miles and his heroic life are detailed in a touching tribute by Jon Fogg).

My theory? Miles Mouse was sitting with his family a month ago, shaking in the November cold contemplating strategies for getting through the Winter. The Mouse clan had recently relocated to Maryland after spending their lives in Florida near Ft. Lauderdale. Miles decided his best option was to try to enter a nearby apartment, gather whatever food he could, try to build some sort of home, and then report back to the group.

As reported by Jon, Miles was captured and thrown outside by what he described as “infidels.” Before re-entering Apartment 11, he rallied his family using the words of Michael Mouse–his father and noted mouse cleric. He declared a Cheese-had on the infidels and returned to begin his fight.

Maury Mouse worried when his brother didn’t return. He said he’d set up a base camp and return in just a few days. When there was no sign of him after a week, Maury knew the worst had happened. He snuck into the vent used to gain access to Apartment 11, but instead of going all the way inside, he sat and he waited. He listened as the infidels rejoiced over vanquishing Miles from their abode. Maury fumed.

The next day the residents of Apartment 11 awoke to find familiar signs of mouse. Later on there were sounds of chewing from behind the fridge. It was clear another mouse had entered their presence, and only later did they realize that the Cheese-had was on. Not only is Maury Mouse carrying on the exploits of Miles, he’s taken it to a new level.

It was discovered that Miles was somehow climbing up the refrigerator power cord to access the counter top, and in six-million-dollar-man fashion jumped across to the stove…where he would then poop. We assumed Maury would have been trained at the Mouse camp to perform similar tasks, so we blocked the back of the fridge with a large envelope, hoping to discourage him from climbing. Maury is obviously committed to the cause, as we awoke this morning to find the bottom corner of the envelope chewed to shreds, allowing easy access to the wonders of our counter.

But don’t despair. We are committed to winning the war against these insurgents. We have made great progress and are going to stay the course until victory. There will be no early exits. We do have a plan. Of course we can’t tell you about that plan, which contains no detail, but we do have a plan.