Stampy of course is Bart Simpson’s pet elephant that he won from a radio contest. The DJs offered a thousand dollars or a pet elephant as a prize when Bart called in, and he of course wanted the elephant. But that’s the gag prize kid, everyone takes the money, the DJs said. Bart stood strong and demanded his elephant, and in the end he got exactly what he wanted. The elephant also later got what he wanted–an oversized decorative poncho.

But that’s all far from today’s point. Last night I was finishing up my taxes and was delighted to learn that I will be receiving a refund. Hooray for making little money this year! After filling out all of the forms, attaching the pieces together in the correct way and saying to myself “I am confident this is the best effort I could give for such a venture,” I folded everything into an envelope-friendly size and shape and sealed that bad boy up.

That of course was not the end of my tax ordeal, as I then had to fill out my return address and put their pre-printed label on the front of the envelope so that it may make its way to the proper place in Atlanta. Then comes the part that boggles my mind–postage. So the government sends out these tax booklets and asks that you fill out all these forms and send them back. There is this thing called the United States Postal Service that will pick up the completed forms from my place of residence and take them to Atlanta.

That’s called scam city. Millions of Americans are required to put a stamp on the front of this envelope in order to get it delivered. There is no other option. Come on government, throw us a bone here. Paying for postage should be only for things you choose to mail. If you are required by the government, or a government, to mail something, that postage should be taken care of:

Gov’t: “Hey postal service, uhh, everyone has to send one of these back to us, call it good?”
USPS: “Word, word. We got you dawg.”