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  • Hi, Five?

    Finding the people who really get you is one of the great things that happens to us in this life.

    Do you ever stop and think about how you became friends with someone and all of the tiny decisions each of you made, and others you didn’t, that brought you to that point?

    I imagine two parallel Plinko boards, each person standing at the top ready to release a chip on a chaotic journey.  They bounce around, at one moment shooting away from the “Awesome Friend” bin at the bottom, the next they shoot to the opposite side before miraculously both dropping in line at the last moment.  Lights flash, triumphant music blares and the two of you sprint toward each other, hands raised, and unleash the most epic high-five in history to seal your new relationship.

    I’m thinking about this after having brunch the other day with my friend Aundrea.  We high-fived in grad school, and ever since she has been someone I always feel like roots harder for me than just about anyone.  I always walk away from our conversation thinking, “I’ve got this!”


    Aundrea, left, me, right, other good people in between

    But to even remotely get to that point, we first had to be interested in the same field, choose to pursue grad school, apply to the same school, get accepted, choose Maryland over our other options, select starting in the summer instead of the fall, have the right number of classmates that we ended up interacting in basically all of our classes, and after all of that, we had to actually talking to each other.  Any number of things could have upset one of those factors and I would not have been eating pancakes on Friday.


    Sometimes friends graffiti your notes during class (it’s frightening how quickly I found this among my college papers)

    And yes, I do recall a specific high-five happening.  We were in a communication theory class, sitting on opposite sides of the room but facing each other.  At some point (I think during a break) there was some sort of discussion on her side that I apparently found favorable, and we executed an Office-style air five.

    I believe that counts under my analogy.

    January 4, 2015 Uncategorized
  • Sounds of Two Hands Clapping

    Warning: You’re probably about to think far too hard about something simple and dumb.

    At some point during the baseball season, I was standing and clapping at Nationals Park next to my mom and younger brother.  I’m left-handed, they’re both righties, and we noticed that the two groups had opposite ways of holding our hands when clapping.

    Put as simply as I can in words, I clap my left hand into my right, while they clap their right hand into their left.  Maybe video is a better way of doing this:

    You don’t have to tell me how many times you clapped to figure it out, but please let me know your handedness and how you clap either in the comments here or Facebook or Twitter or by mailing me a letter.  I’m really curious to see the results!

    And if you’re not worn out from all of that, we also discussed at the same game our methods for crossing our arms — that is, which one goes in front, and which behind.

    I do it like this with my left arm in front:

    If I remember correctly my mom also does it that way while my brother does the opposite, like this:

    Happy Saturday.

    January 3, 2015 Uncategorized
  • Aunt Clara, Reversed

    It took 12 Christmases, but the “Christmas Story”-inspired bunny suit I gave to my brother in 2002 finally ended up back in my hands.

    I bought this thing for $4, and as it has been re-gifted again and again over the years I think we’ve extracted roughly $4,981 worth of entertainment.

    In this post from 2012, I wrote more about the history, along with pictures of a few recipients.  Though everyone in the family (I think) has been gifted the bunny suit at least once, only niece Mady and nephew Chuck have worn it.  I know the small size is largely responsible for that, but I think there’s no excuse.  From now on, I want Christmas to be like this:

    Or, if the person is particularly in the spirit, perhaps this:

    Mystery family member who will get it from me next year, start planning your photo shoot now.

    January 2, 2015 Christmas family Uncategorized
  • Classic Winter Day

    My older brother has run every day for five years so it’s only appropriate that I started 2015 with my own streak: today I hugged a stranger.

    Granted, I have no real intention of stretching this streak past one day, but for this one glorious day, the Washington Capitals made it a necessity.

    The Caps hosted this year’s edition of the Winter Classic, the outdoor game that the NHL stages on New Year’s Day.  The venue was Nationals Park, where I’ve been dozens of times for baseball games (ok, fine, exactly 85 times according to my spreadsheet), but obviously never for hockey.

    Across the street from the stadium, the NHL and various sponsors set up a fun fan zone area with food, live music and games:

    I worked the night before and planned on napping for a few hours in my car before the game, but then I wasn’t tired at all and ended up getting to the park far earlier than my brother.  I killed the extra time doing things like shooting pucks at a pair of stacked dryers:

    None of my pucks went in, but I can’t describe how satisfying it is to send a chunk of rubber slamming into a dryer.  Please try this in your home.  I give you full permission.

    You may wonder how they make an ice rink inside a baseball stadium.  Well, there’s a series of pipes underneath the ice surface connected to this giant chiller truck parked outside:

    No, I don’t know why Jonathan Toews has a hole in his forehead.  Anywho, the result is this:

    We were out in right-center field with a slightly different view:

    Note my sweet Winter Classic hat I picked up a few weeks ago.  Thanks to the Caps, or Bridgestone, or the NHL or leprechauns, we arrived at our seats to find these beauties, which were essential in the cold:

    I also picked up official Winter Classic handwarmers and a bandana while playing one of the pre-game games, and shelled out hard-earned cash for the puck in the middle:

    Oh, and they did actually play a hockey game.  The players came out of the replica Capitol building and lined up near us for the national anthem:

    Then the ref dropped the puck, and many of the 42,000 of us in attendance started cheering on our beloved Caps:

    Late in the game, with the score tied 2-2, the video board began playing the customary Unleash The Fury rally montage, and Nats Park let that fury fly:

    WOOOOO!  What happened?  Well, the Caps eventually ended up on a power play with less than two minutes left in the game.  I told my brother a game-winning goal here would be THE GREATEST.  Naturally, Alex Ovechkin — aka The Great 8 — brought the puck into the zone in the waning seconds, it then ended up on the stick of Troy Brouwer, who buried it in the net with 12.9 seconds left:

    Absolute bedlam.  We celebrated.  The Caps celebrated.

    And I hugged a stranger.

    January 1, 2015 hockey Uncategorized
  • Literary Marshmallow

    I’ve ready plenty of books that were later turned into movies, but I think “The Thousand Dollar Tan Line” is the first book in my library that follows a movie that was based on a TV show.

    Perhaps I should explain that.  Veronica Mars was a show that lasted three seasons on TV before being rudely cancelled.  Fans (such as myself) rallied to Kickstart a movie that picks up the story years later.  As part of the renewal of the story, the show’s creator and main writer Rob Thomas teamed up with Jennifer Graham to write a series of books that come after the movie.

    If any of that is new to you, I recommend you finish reading this and immediately put all of your other life plans on hold until you’re caught up.  Actually, go now.  Stop reading.  It’s that important.

    What’s interesting about this construct is that I didn’t have to spend any mental energy trying to imagine the town of Neptune, or what a conversation between Veronica and her dad, Keith, looked like.  That universe is fully vivid in my head.  Dialogue came out in each character’s voice just as if I were watching the scene play out on my television.  It was like reading a David Sedaris book after hearing him on the radio.

    The best part of all that?  There are some kickass characters in Veronica’s world, with her chief among them.  She’s back in town after being away at law school, helping out at the family private investigation agency while her dad recovers from [THIS HAPPENS IN THE MOVIE GO WATCH IT].  Veronica is a tiny human but has little fear and loves nothing more than nailing people who deserve to be taken down.

    The narrator describes her perfectly as she talks with boyfriend Logan:

    “Logan had once told Veronica she didn’t have any flight — just way too much fight for her own good.”

    Each episode of the show involves one case that needs to be solved, plus pieces of a season-long mystery that slowly comes together over time.  The book has one main case, tracking down a pair of girls who go missing during spring break in the seaside California town.

    The investigation takes Veronica to the mansion where the girls each attended a party and where she encounters drug cartel-linked Rico and his associate Willie.  The boys are side-stepping that night’s festivities to play some video games upstairs and talk about how they can use a Ferrari to impress the ladies.

    “‘Then we’ll load up the honeys and take ’em to Taco Bell.’
    ‘Taco Bell?  Man, there’s, like, smoked salmon and asparagus in truffle oil and, like, crudites downstairs.  Why the hell do you want to go to taco bell?’
    Rico shrugged.  ‘I like their chalupas.’

    So let’s recap.  We have a series I already love with characters I could watch forever, and then they add a Taco Bell reference?  My reading year is ending on the happiest of notes.

    December 30, 2014 books Uncategorized
  • No Color for Tsukuru

    Don’t let me borrow your books.

    Okay, do let me borrow them, but maybe not ones that have crazy geometric things going on with the front cover.  Otherwise, this might happen:

    Sorry, Anastasia.  I did fix it!

    “Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage” was the first book by Haruki Murakami that I read despite years of walking past them in bookstores and meaning to pick one up.  Anastasia told me it was “fantastic” but that it left her and our other friend who read it “super disoriented.”

    I think that’s an entirely accurate description.  It’s not a feel-good book really in any way, but we should read those once in a while.  Life isn’t all puppies and butterflies, after all.

    The story basically follows Tsukuru through two periods of his life — late teens/early 20s and his mid 30s.  The events and experiences of the earlier time play heavily on the latter as he tries to deal with how his close group of friends suddenly cut him off for reasons he could not begin to figure out.

    Murakami really brings out the book’s central theme during a conversation older Tsukuru has with a woman he is dating named Sara.

    “You can hide memories, but you can’t erase the history that produced them,” she says, in a phrase that gets repeated a few times later on.  “If nothing else, you need to remember that.  You can’t erase history, or change it.  It would be like destroying yourself.”

    No matter what he does or what face he slaps on to face the world, what happened in the past never changes.  Tsukuru has so much that doesn’t go his way, and yet, he accepts everything as either blameless or his own fault.  He has a way of being sadly optimistic that straddles the line between looking to immediately move on and a thinking akin to “what can I do but accept it?”

    A few people have asked me if I would recommend they read this book.  It’s really well written and grabs you in a certain way, but you have to be prepared for the mindset it leaves you throughout.  So maybe?

    December 27, 2014 books Uncategorized
  • Best of 2014

    Another year of blogging has (almost) come to an end, and thus it’s time to highlight what I think were the 10 best of the past 12 months.

    Like last year, I didn’t blog as much as I wanted to, but that’s going to change in 2015.  I’m going to jump-start the year with a new post every day in January (taking requests now).

    But that’s the future.  Let’s count down the past, finishing with the greatest post of all time:

    10. Extra Medium Pasta
    Two pasta makers give me identical shells, but one labels them medium and the other large.  Naturally, I ask them to explain this lunacy.

    9.  Box 27, Check
    I take partial credit for the New York Times fixing a massive OCD issue with its homepage.

    8.  Vegemite This Be A Bad Idea
    My Australian friend dares me to eat vegemite.  I do.  I wish I hadn’t. (I still have a ton if anyone wants to dig in!)

    7.  Let It Woah
    I become a social media superstar thanks to a Nationals player and the epidemic that is “Frozen.”

    6.  Brick Simpsons
    Lego lets me indulge my Simpsons nerdery. Time-lapse photography lets you watch much faster than I could build.

    5.  Going Back to #1s
    A running diary of the morning I spent listening to Songza’s stream of #1 hits from the 2000s.

    4. No Hits For You (Marlins)
    Jordan Zimmermann throws a no-hitter.  I scream on video.  Life is perfect.

    3.  Oregon Trail of Misfortune
    I fire up Oregon Trail and take my friends (and a few celebs) on a disastrous journey across this great land.

    2. Operation Get Breakfast Get Home
    An overnight snowstorm while I was at work leaves me in search of a meal and a way home.

    1. Anastasiya and the Eli Manning Airport
    I get intentionally catfished for the second time, winding a three-month journey that ends up with a document in Russian citing an airport named after Eli Manning.

    If you want more “best of” posts:
    2013
    2012
    2011
    2010
    2009
    2005-08

    December 22, 2014 best of Uncategorized
  • I Pledge Allegiant

    I was late enough to the “Divergent” series that all three books were very much out by the time I started, meaning I was already quite aware that people disliked the third one.  I now completely understand why.

    In a world with no “Hunger Games” maybe “Divergent” would have an easier time, but by comparison it’s hard to ignore the flaws.  What’s great about the plotting of the “Hunger Games” is the way the drumbeat of action builds as the series goes along, especially with the way we get taken back into the games so early in the second book.  I finished those needing to immediately jump into the next one.

    With “Divergent,” the story gets really bogged down with setting us up for action, basically flipping the second book from the “Catching Fire” model to being mostly the lead-in for a tiny bit of action right at the end.

    I have a bigger complaint with “Allegiant,” the final book in Veronica Roth’s series.  Main character Tris narrates the first two, but suddenly shares those duties in book three with Tobias.  And really, there’s nothing inherently wrong with that.  I get why she did it in the end.  But the execution is annoying.  In many dual-narrator stories they alternate chapters and have distinct voices, making it almost unnecessary to even label who is doing the talking.  You just know.

    That was not the case in “Allegiant.”  I can’t tell you the number of times I was seven pages into a chapter and the narrator said something that made me realize it was Tris when I thought it was Tobias (and vice-versa).  Part of the problem is that they spent so much time doing similar things in the first two books that mentioning things from the past didn’t differentiate who was talking at all.

    My other issue with this story was the amount of time Roth spent building up a romantic jealousy angle in the beginning and then letting it fizzle away to nothing.  Given all the pages that involved people sitting in a room and talking, and all the hot-and-cold behavior of Tris and Tobias from one page to the next, it might have been interesting to have some dating drama in this story.

    It wasn’t the train wreck I was expecting from the reviews I heard, but certainly not my favorite book or even close to my favorite in this series.

    I will give Roth credit for making me laugh when Tobias goes to basically kidnap Tris’ brother Caleb, who is not a nice guy and makes poor decisions like trying to flee people who are a lot bigger than him.

    Tobias ends up knocking down Caleb, sending him face-first into the floor.  The effects of this event are evident when Tobias drags Caleb outside and another guy sees them.

    Zeke: “Why’s he bleeding?”
    Tobias: “Because he’s an idiot.”
    Zeke: “I didn’t know that idiocy caused people to start spontaneously bleeding from the nose.”

    If only it did.

    December 20, 2014 books Uncategorized
  • Killing Your Dreams? There’s an App for That

    Four years ago, my friend AV and I began discussing a number of entrepreneurial ideas, which began as a way to kill slow times at work and later included “I JUST WOKE UP AND THOUGHT OF A BETTER NAME” texts.

    These ideas were unlikely to ever happen (one was a luxury hotel), but that didn’t stop us from letting our creative minds run with them.

    The best one was a food truck-like service that would deliver over-the-counter medicine, soup and other things that would make you feel better when sick.  The target audience was primarily single people who would otherwise not have someone around to make a trip to CVS for them when sickness struck.

    One early name possibility was “What U Need” (or perhaps “What U Need?”):

    But eventually we settled on one that more distinctly called out that this was the kind of service that was on the move and ready to come to you at any moment: Heal Mobile.

    That second part?  That’s why we never did it.  Well, the most glaring reason, at least.  You need money, and we had none, so our business ideas were reliant on a side strategy of winning the lottery.  The most we’ve ever won in limited attempts is $2, so no luck on that front yet.

    As with any good idea though, it was only a matter of time before someone else did it.  And this month, AV sent me this from Uber, who became that someone:

    They call it Uber Essentials, and it’s everything we planned plus a few extras.  For instance, we didn’t envision offering Christmas lights or Hanukkah candles during the holidays.

    How did we take the news that our not-really-happening venture had been usurped by a competitor who had a much better infrastructure in place to carry it out?  Not well.

     On to the next one.

    December 19, 2014 life plans Uncategorized
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