Blog

  • I Scream

    With a massive snow storm on the way and not much to my afternoon but sitting and watching it all fall, I put out a call for requests for blog post topics.  I did this a year ago during the January of Insanely Blogging Every Day and it was pretty fun, so why not try again?

    January 22, 2016 Uncategorized
  • Harnessing Wind

    When I was 14, the only manual labor I had to do was mow the lawn with a ride-on mower.  I went to school with no fears of being sent home for being unable to pay.  I spent afternoons doing homework, playing baseball and video games knowing a filling meal was coming for dinner every night.

    January 17, 2016 books
  • Running With The Mouse

    I have a tremendous amount of gratitude for the person who decided that after the Disney World Half Marathon runners should be given this box with chips and cheese.

    January 15, 2016 running
  • XX

    In 2008, I needed a push to read more and set a goal of reading 20 books.  I did.  The next year I read 21, but haven’t completed more than 18 since.  Until 2015.  And by that I mean the final hours of 2015, but that very much counts.

    December 31, 2015 book recap books
  • Book 20

    With 19 books done and the chance to hit 20 for the year so close, my initial thought was to read one of the shorter Steinbecks on my bookshelf to close out the year.  Then I looked at my spreadsheet and noticed I had already read two of his in 2015 and that option quickly soured.

    So I asked for help:

    @cjhannas Have you read Station Eleven? It looks like a good year-ender. ?

    — Brooke Shelby (@txtingmrdarcy) December 25, 2015

    This turned out to be an excellent cjhannas move.  Emily St. John Mandel’s “Station Eleven” was a tremendous year-ender, which also happened to be about the near-end of the world.  At least the human part of it.

    I was a little annoyed at first with the way the story jumps around to different sets of characters in different places and different time periods, but as the book went on I found my reaction to a new chapter was more like, “OH! These people! Need to know what’s going on with them.”

    The basic premise is that a ridiculously effective flu has wiped out most of the population and those who remain live in small groups in otherwise abandoned cities or as travelers.  Or as a traveling group that performs Shakespeare plays when they stop in a town.

    There’s an old actor and his bevy of ex-wives, a young actress and her comic book, a reformed paparazzo, a prophet, an artist, and a swimming pool with double moon light.  Mandel drops hints and reminders about how they all connect that leave you saying, “Riiiiight, yes yes,” as the pieces fit together and all the players figure out more and more what the post-flu word is.

    At times it’s a little depressing, but also made me think a lot about what would happen if the lights went off and never came back on.  And yet, there’s an underlying hope in some of the characters about returning to what they once knew that is refreshing in such a setting.

    It was also hard not to think about the Fox show “Last Man On Earth,” which doesn’t explain why many of the people in the world died, but has a similar focus on the small group that is left.  That show is intentionally much more comedy focused but touches on similar ideas like the first task of figuring out if you’re the only one left, and if not, how do you find the others?  In that case the main character spray paints “Alive in Tucson” on billboards and eventually some people show up. 

    In the book, people meet by accident in small travels, and then wonder and dream about the world beyond.

    December 31, 2015 books Uncategorized
  • One More

    My favorite part of reading a book of short stories, like B.J. Novak’s “One More Thing,” is that unless you cheat and flip ahead to check, you have no idea if the particular story you’re reading is one page long or 10.

    When you read a novel, you can sense by the dwindling number of pages on your right side that things are coming to an end and can make assumptions about what is getting wrapped up and when.  You know when there’s time for a surprise and when it’s time to go.

    Not so with short stories.  A twist to relaunch in a new direction or another that brings a sudden end are equally possible.

    I thoroughly enjoyed this read that is mixed with stories that are both insightful and funny and hit all the notes of stories we tell as humans.  As a collection, they cover a lot of ground and feature occasional recall to earlier stories that make for delightful moments of recognizing something clever just happened.

    There is the story of the guy who invented the calendar and had a plan for all months to be 40 days, but then had to adapt to his audience.

    “Finally, I just told everyone that this would be the last day of January, and months would be just 30 days instead of 40.  But there wasn’t enough time to get the word out.  So to be safe, we have to make this month 31 days, and then we’ll make the rest 30.  Not a big deal.  Everyone is excited to see Febuary — including me!”

    There’s also an elementary school principle who calls an assembly to tell the kids he’d like to eliminate math altogether.  He asks them to consider the difference between themselves and a happy retirement community.

    “The difference is ‘rithmetic!  A retired person living by the ocean, just doing a little reading and writing till the end of their days — that’s the dream, right?’

    In another favorite, a guy takes the adage “If I had a nickel…” for every time he spilled a cup of coffee and works out, in great detail, the economics behind making that a business.

    And then there’s one of the shortest stories, which is brilliantly succint:

    “I was sad that summer was over.  But I was happy that it was over for my enemies, too.”

    This was book number 19 of the year for me.  I’ve long wanted to get back to 20, something I haven’t accomplished since 2009.  Time to get reading.

    December 27, 2015 books Uncategorized
  • Best of 2015

    Another year is just about in the books, which means it’s time to take a very subjective look back at the posts I liked most here.  With this one, I’m passing the number I did in 2012 and have done more than any year since 2011.  I feel pretty good about that.  Remember that I began by blogging every day in January, which was difficult, but achieved my goal of actually posting more this year.

    So let’s do a top 10.  They are in reverse chronological order because that’s how I’m writing them down.

    10. Taco Bell & Chill
    An examination of how Taco Bell is treated in online dating profiles.

    9.  Mini Simpsons Multiplying
    A new set of Simpsons LEGO figures brings a scene of multiple dramatic showdowns between characters.

    8.  HAGS
    I go back in time and see how I’ve lived up to the notes and wisdom of those who signed my high school yearbooks.

    7. Yikkety Yak
    Recapping my attempts to make popular posts on the local messaging app Yik Yak.

    6.  Well That Was Interesting
    Looking back on the strangest of what has been my interesting dating history.

    5.  Ready For The Hits
    The arrival of a new baseball bat brings memories of the glorious ones from my past.  Lots of throwback pics and video!

    4.  Eligible Bachelor
    Those who always wanted me to apply for The Bachelor get their wish.

    3.  Crossing Paths
    A short story on the Metro with a young woman, a young man and a crossword puzzle.

    2. T-Swizz Video
    A friend asks me to go down a rabbit hole of Taylor Swift videos.  I oblige.

    1.  I Accept This Rose
    My hate-watching for blog purposes reaches its peak as I tune in for the opening episode of a Bachelor season.

    Hopefully you enjoyed at least something I put up this year.  I’ll try to keep the train rolling in 2016.

    December 25, 2015 best of Uncategorized
  • Big Short

    Telling a story involving complicated financial dealings, as Michael Lewis does in “The Big Short” is difficult enough.  Doing the same on a movie screen for a broad audience is a downright Herculean task.

    After reading the book, which recounts the way mortgage backed securities caused the financial system to fail in so many ways in 2007, I was interested to see how the movie version was going to play out.  Specifically, would they be able to quickly and clearly describe a collateralized debt obligation to someone who has never heard of that before?

    Before reading the book I had a basic idea of those terms and how it all worked.  For years I’ve listened to an excellent NPR podcast called Planet Money that attempts to put those complex financial things into plain English that most of us can understand.

    Lewis tells the story of the collapse through the guys who saw it coming.  While mortgage lenders gave money to riskier and riskier borrowers and banks packaged those loans into worse and worse quality bonds, and then sold insurance on those bonds, a few people saw how crazy the whole system was acting and bet against it.

    As one person puts it, they saw a house that was already engulfed in flames and someone was standing right in front of it offering them the chance to buy fire insurance.

    One of the keys to the entire collapse was the extension of those loans to people who should never have been allowed to borrow money.  Steve Eisman, a hedge fund manager that Lewis highlights in the book, puts it this way:

    “The subprime mortgage loan was a cheat.  You’re basically drawing someone in by telling them, ‘You’re going to pay off all your other loans — your credit card debt, your auto loans — by taking this one loan.  And look at the low rate!’  But that low rate isn’t the real rate.  It’s a teaser rate.”

    The people getting the loans didn’t fully understand the ramifications of what happened when their interest rate shot up extraordinarily after two years.

    Lewis recounts an email sent by another fund manager, Michael Burry, describing just what it looked like from the outside to those who were seeing what was happening:

    “Those 2005 mortgages are only now reaching the end of their teaser rate periods, and it will be 2008 before the 2006 mortgages get there.  What sane person on Earth would conclude in early 2007, smack dab in the midst of the mother of all teaser rate scams, that the subprime fallout will not result in contagion?  The bill literally has not even come due.”

    The bill came due.  Quickly.  All over the country.  We all saw what happened.  But as mortgage lenders and some investment firms went out of business and big banks got huge bailouts, those who saw cashed in those insurance contracts on the flaming housing bonds and made billions of dollars.

    One thing the movie nails is this moment, particularly with Steve Carrell playing Eisman (or a character with a different name whose entire presence mirrors that of Eisman in the book).  Lewis describes most of the guys betting against the banks as having almost a crusading attitude, of finally being able to stick it to institutions that for too long have profited on practices that screw normal people.  And yet, for their big bet to pay off, they need Armageddon.

    “Being short in 2007 and making money from it was fun, because we were short bad guys,” said Steve Eisman.  “In 2008 it was the entire financial system at risk.  We were still short.  But you don’t want the system to crash.  It’s sort of like the flood’s about to happen and you’re Noah.  You’re on the ark.  Yeah, you’re okay.  But you are not happy looking out at the flood.  That’s not a happy moment for Noah.”

    December 24, 2015 books Uncategorized
  • Bossy Pants

    Ladies and gentleman, it’s time to rewrite my Wikipedia page.  Before reading “Bossy Pants,” I had no idea Tina Fey and I had eaten at the same Red Lobster.

    It happened in Williamsport, Pennsylvania, which for her was a compromise midpoint destination for family Christmas.  For me, it was a well-planned Friday trip with college friends.

    In our tiny college town there was only one Red Lobster-level dining option and none that had tasty cheddar biscuits.  So weeks in advance, one of my suitemates gathered commitments from roughly 10 people to make the trip to the closest Red Lobster 45 minutes away in Williamsport.  Many biscuits were consumed on site and many, many more were squirreled away in purses and brought back to campus for future eating.

    How else have Tina and I intersected?  Well, in the book she talks about the anthrax scare at 30 Rockefeller Plaza when she left the building for a few hours and returned to NBC News chief Andy Lack updating the SNL staff on the situation.  Last year, Lack was very briefly the head of my news organization.

    While I did not enjoy this book as much as the one by fellow SNL alum Amy Poehler (who I like a little more), it was still an entertaining look behind the scenes of a person who has had a huge impact on my generation’s pop culture.  It also reminded me that I hadn’t seen all of her show 30 Rock, so I started watching from the beginning on Netflix.

    And that’s when yet another thing came up during a conversation between Fey’s character Liz Lemon and Alec Baldwin’s Jack Donaghy.

    Jack: “So, big plans for the holidays?”
    Liz: “Yeah, my parents are coming with my brother and we’re gonna go see Jersey Boys on Broadway and we’re gonna go to that restaurant where they pretend it’s Mars!”

    You’ll recall that restaurant came up two books ago and was the scene of a delightful dinner I had years ago with my cousin.

    That’s it for direct links, but Tina and I share a similar outlook on vacations.  Specifically, our complete lack of interest in going on a cruise.

    “Luxury cruises were designed to make something unbearable — a two-week transatlantic crossing — seem bearable.  There’s no need to do it now.  There are planes.  You wouldn’t take a vacation where you ride on a stagecoach for two months but there’s all-you-can-eat shrimp.”

    She also imparts great advice about the fact there is no such thing as perfect in writing, because there are deadlines and when the show goes on, you can’t change anything.

    “You have to try you hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go.”

    This is what I tell people when they ask how I get started writing something.  At work, shows are going on the air and here, well, I have other things to do so I can’t sit here all day.  Perfect isn’t coming, so just write and move on.

    She also has strong words for people who feel the need to let the world know they think women are not funny.  She doesn’t care.

    “It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good.  I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.”

    December 18, 2015 books Uncategorized
  • Santa Taylor Thomas

    After I posted about the classic movie Snow Day, my friend presented me another winter film challenge:

    @cjhannas do the movie with Jonathan Taylor Thomas & Jessica Biel next. Home for Christmas ?

    — Nurse Bailey™ ⚾️❤️ (@heartRN13) December 5, 2015

    Netflix assumes I will hate this movie.  They are usually correct about such things, but let’s enjoy the ride!

    This is supposedly taking place at a college, so why do they have lockers?  I should also note there is a kid locked inside like any good high school college movie.  It also appears they hired 14-year-olds to play most of the students.  Except Jessica Biel.

    Guess which of those two is older?  I was surprised to learn (according to Wikipedia) the answer is JTT by six months.  He turned 18 the year the movie came out, which was also the final year of Home Improvement.

    Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have antagonists!  I’m pretty sure one of them is in No Doubt.  But let’s not be too quick to cast them as the bad guys because JTT’s character is a total punk.  I wondered how such a bad person came to be, but then he called his dad and it was all so clear.

    Bill.Freaking.Lumbergh. (If that name means nothing to you, I need you to put down your device and watch Office Space.  I’ll wait here.)  If it wasn’t clear already, there are some excellent 1998 things in this movie, like when people had pagers.

    These were carried in a school, which if 1998 high school freshman me remembers correctly would have earned me a suspension or expulsion for being a drug dealer, or something.  Anyway, JTT did the “bad” guys wrong and they responded by putting him in a Santa suit and dumping him in a desert.

    Rock that weird santa mustache thing with shame, young man.  Our story is not odd enough yet, so let’s add in the other element of any good 1998 teen movie: the other dude.

    “What should we listen to?  Jewel?  Sarah?  Fiona?”  Late ’90s other dude is working hard to steal this girl.  Meanwhile, back with our hero…

    Old ladies took pity on him and gave him a ride.  THINGS ARE GETTING ZANY NOW.  Oh now he puked in the car and they kicked him out.  He’s at a place where there are tons of people…and yet he walks back to a desolate spot to try to get another ride?

    JTT, we need to have a talk about your hitchhiking skillz.  First of all, you need people to get a ride, so stay where they are.  Second, you’re trying to make a trip from Los Angeles to New York (to be with his family at Christmas…sorry I forgot to mention the goal of all of this).  HOW IS THIS SIGN HELPING?

    Dude.  We just talked about this.  Why did you go stand on the side of the highway now?  This is how you spend a day watching cars fly by at 70 miles per hour until one hits you.  Also, I’d like to point out that despite being very much alive in 1998, I have not recognized a single song in the first half of this movie.

    Let the ZANINESS continue!  Our hero(?) got picked up by a thief in a van, they got pulled over and told the cop they were actually on their way to give the stuff to kids lol and the cop said ok cool I’d love to see Santa do that I’ll come watch.  So kids are getting microwaves.

    Now one of the kids told a sad story and all adults are reevaluating their lives, including JTT who called home and I think we’re supposed to root for him now?  I refuse.  The cop doesn’t, he’s giving JTT a ride to Nebraska to help him win back his own lady.  Also, it’s been 15 minutes since we checked in on the other storyline and I think Jessica might have killed that other kid?

    “Marjorie it wasn’t me kissing her, it was the Jagermeister!”  K.  Now JTT is writing a parody of O Christmas Tree with lyrics to impress Marjorie and he’s doing it on the fly? GET RIGHT OUT OF HERE.  Somehow this worked and JTT got a bus ticket out of it.

    Update: other kid is not dead, but may be soon. JK she just had a little snowball fight with other dude and they’re totes getting married now.  Back to the bus.

    JTT “found” an unattended cooler with a human liver in it and is demanding the bus detour to its proper home and wouldn’t you know he put the cooler there and the place is really the hotel where the girl and other dude are…and when he gets there he admits to the girl he’s really rushing home to beat a deadline his dad set so he could get a Porsche because these are likable people.

    Hoooboy the dudes decide to travel together, stuff happens, JTT gets kicked out, and miraculously comes across a Santa 5K with a $1,000 prize?!  Seems pretty generous for a race with like 40 people and a $10 entry fee, but whatevs.  Oh and I don’t even have to tell you he won because of course!

    But guess what?  Something ELSE went awry and he is at the airport with no ticket.  No problem, because JTT has a knack for immediately seeing the next really convenient thing right in front of him!

    What’s that?  A dog crate I can climb inside that’s going on that very flight?!  Fret not, my friends, this was basically the final step in the hero’s journey.  Everything is going to be fine.

    And most importantly…

    Thank.Goodness.

    December 16, 2015 Christmas movies
1 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 86
Archives