According to Zorel, someone is tapping into your dreams, making a copy of your brain and using that information to steal money from your bank account. The same process is also being used to tap into the U.S. Government weapons department. But if you don’t live in Maryland, don’t worry, the antenna is only being used around Silver Spring, Md.

I wish I could have made this up, but alas, it is all too true. Today in the UMTV newsroom we received a call from Zorel telling us of the existence of this antenna and evil plot to copy brains and steal money. I was sad to learn that he was calling from Miami, and thus I could not interview him. After all, he has a sixth sense and was able to predict that Bush would be elected in 2000, that Hillary Clinton would be elected the same year and that Avian flu would break out in Asia.

If you feel you have been a victim of the brain-copy plot, he encourages you to call Montgemery County Police, though I would recommend you call the MontgOmery County Police who might be able to better help you because they actually exist.