So when you’re unemployed there’s a portion of the day you spend looking for and applying for jobs. No matter how committed you are that day, that time is finite. There’s only so long you can look through postings, compare your worth to the requirements, write cover letters and send the mothers out.

Then what?

You get to accomplish feats of entertainment that can’t be done any other time in your life. These are brought on by great boredom and a complete lack of much else to to day after day.

This week I accomplished a major life goal by reading an entire book in one day. It was The Freedom Writers Diary, and I highly recommend it. Definitely took care of a Tuesday for me.

Then I moved on to my good friend, TV shows on DVD. There’s no greater invention. You can be lazy and not feel that lazy because you are only doing it in 22 minute segments. Oh sure, I’ll just watch one more. Ok, one more. Next thing you know, you’ve plowed through two seasons of Arrested Development in no time. The only problem is that there’s only one season left of that great show. I guess I’ll have to move on to something else.

I also stumbled upon a possible new method for choosing your occupation.

I was at a park across the street from my neighborhood to measure out the trail that goes around the outside. I run there a lot and wanted to make sure I was going as far as I thought. While I was there I figured I’d take some pictures of the scenery and animals therein.

When I was finishing up the measurement, I passed a mother and young girl who had just entered the park. A few minutes later I was standing in a barn when the girl approached me.

“Go on, ask him,” her mother said.

“Excuse me, do you do the hay ride?” the girl asked.

Sadly, I was not responsible for operating the hay ride. I’ve seen it done many times, though I’m not sure of the speech that goes along with being the guide. There’s only so much you can pick up when you run by a tractor toting a trailer full of kids and their parents.

But that did make me think of the new employment system. We should line up in front of a bank of 100 people. The jury should write down what they think our occupation should be. The leading vote-getter is our new job.

The hay ride leaves promptly at 9 am. I will not wait for you if you’re late.