White House Press Secretary Jay Carney is stepping down from his post this month, and really the move could not come soon enough.  My concern isn’t about the way he has performed the job, but rather the way his son and the kid’s friends get their Slurpees at 7-Eleven.

The Carney kid and a few other offspring of White House officials are in a band, and recently put out this video:

Judge the music on your own.  I want to talk about the 7-Eleven trip.  It starts out perfectly fine, with a run through the aisles to pick up some snacks:

But when Lucas, son of HUD Secretary Shaun Donovan, gets to the Slurpee machine, all hell breaks loose.  There’s a long-established process of extracting maximum amounts of the delicious coolness: grab a cup, put on a lid, bleed out a tiny bit of liquid, fill that motha to the max, put in a straw and enjoy.  Lucas missed the key component, filling his cup without first adding the lid:

He’s on the fast track to Slurpee disappointment.  You might be thinking that’s only a shot of one of the kids, and surely the others know what to do.  You would be wrong:

Two of them at least went with more Bloomberg-defying sizes, but check out the lid areas.  There’s not a bit of Slurpee in sight.  You can’t eat all those Twinkies, chips, Twizzlers and other magicness and not have a Slurpee cup filled above the brim available to wash it all down.

While others speculate about what Carney will do next, I think the top item on his to-do list is clear.  If he’s not at 7-Eleven with those four kids the next day showing them how to properly fill a Slurpee cup, then there’s clearly a parenting crisis in America.  And if Mr. Carney is not prepared to take on the task himself, I am available to serve as a well-paid consultant.