I hate crossword puzzles. Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate them. But I also enjoy them a lot.

What’s with the disparity?

The last two boxes. That’s right, the only things that stand between me and a sense of great satisfaction. Today is Monday, so it’s the “easy” puzzle of the week. I agree. 69 Across clues, 63 Down clues. I have two boxes left.

Now I could just hop on Google and figure this out in 2.1 seconds. But that’s cheating. I will feel no better finishing that way because quite frankly, that’s not finishing.

Usually it’s stuff that I feel OK about not knowing–french words, German authors, a Croatian prince, a 1932 Broadway play–things I’m aware I don’t know and can put the puzzle aside knowing that I did my best.

Today is not one of those days. 39 Down: Verb Type (abbr.). I should be all over that. No clue. 38 Across: Debra of “Love Me Tender”. No clue, though I feel as if this is someone I should have heard of. With what I’ve got around that, I’m pretty sure the box I’m missing is a vowel….but it could literally be any one of them. That makes me mad.

I will now spend the rest of the night, and a portion of tomorrow staring at these two boxes as they mock me and my inability to attack them with my pencil. Then I’ll cheat. Then tomorrow’s puzzle will cause me more anguish. In the words of Ren & Stimpy, Happy Happy Joy Joy.