In my very quick search for documented evidence for my Leap Day post, I came across the portfolio for the creative writing class I took during my senior year of high school.
Inside there’s a great mix of fiction and poetry, one of which I’ll share in a minute. But on the outside of the folder is a great set of seven rules we apparently had for being successful in the class:
1. Keep your hand moving
2. Lose control
3. Be specific
4. Don’t think
5. Don’t worry about punctuation, spelling, grammar
6. You are free to write the worst junk in America
7. Go for the jugular
I particularly like No. 6. It’s such a great message for what writing should be — just do it, who cares if it stinks or people don’t like it?
The piece I want to share looks like it sprang out of the prompt “It would be really strange if…” I briefly thought about utilizing my rap skillz, but I think it’s best if I just give you the text. You may rap if you please. Also, it may help to know that Oakton is the name of my school.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by goats,
If they walked around school in ties and coats,
Disciplining children and making them take notes,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by goats.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by chickens,
If they taught the students and made them read Dickens,
The brains between them would be slim pickens,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by chickens.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by dogs,
If in P.E. they went with students on jogs,
And spent the rest of the day fixing bathroom clogs,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by dogs.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by cats,
If they did nothing but comb the school for rats,
And for lunch they fed the students gym mats,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by cats.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by birds,
If they taught with chirps instead of using words,
And to lower class sizes they expelled all the nerds,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by birds.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by horses,
If they said there were no such thing as magnetic forces,
And accepted papers without requiring a list of sources,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by horses.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by gophers,
If in the dress code they required students to wear loafers,
And everyday for lunch they served microwave dishes from Stouffers,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by gophers.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by squirrels,
If they ignored the boys and taught only the girls,
And especially liked the ones who wore their hair in curls,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by squirrels.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by armadillos,
If during class they let students sleep on pillows,
Or held class outside underneath the willows,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by armadillos.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by fish,
If they listened to the students and catered to their every wish,
And they served themselves as a lunchtime dish,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by fish.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by bugs,
If all they did was harass and bite the students like a bunch of New York thugs,
And made it illegal for students to give each other hugs,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by bugs.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by bears,
If they growled at students and chased them up the stairs,
And forced them to travel everywhere in pairs,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by bears.
It would be strange if Oakton were run by moose,
If they let the students roam the halls like chickens on the loose,
And changed the school colors to orange and chartreuse,
It would be strange if Oakton were run by moose.
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