If you like ridiculous conversations that matter to absolutely nobody, you should watch TV with me and my roommate sometime.

Where else are you going to get an extensive breakdown of Adam Levine’s Kmart commercial, complete with multiple viewings that include seeing it in reverse and slo-mo?

Here we see Levine hurriedly searching for clothes as he leaves the room, and the woman, behind.  The roommate’s theory is that Levine is being a stereotypical rock star jerk and trying to run away from a one-night stand.  But in our attempt to scour the video for details confirming the setting is in fact a hotel room (the obvious “Do Not Disturb” sign is not in the TV version) I became convinced something else is going on.

Yes, he is clearly rushing to find his clothes from various locations around this lovely suite, and he has a smirk when the woman comes to the door that says, “Yeahhh you caught me.”  You could make a compelling case for the jerk scenario with those.  However, also note that his first few steps out the door are just as quick as the last ones he takes inside the room.  Then when he gets outside, he checks his watch.

My conclusion?  He’s obviously trying to get to McDonald’s before 10:30 and the dreaded, “Oh I’m sorry, sir, we stopped serving breakfast.”

Adam Levine is trying to do the right thing and bring this nice woman some hotcakes and egg McMuffins.  He knows the deadline is tight, so he has to get dressed quickly and get going.  He moves so fast he forgets his keys.  Because hotels are notorious for having doors that are way too loud no matter how quietly you try to shut them, and because women are smart enough to figure out simple scenarios like this, she is both awake and ready at the door with the keys when he comes back.  He knows both of these things, thus the smirk of “okay you got me.”

In conclusion: Adam Levine is a nice guy who cares about the most important meal of the day, and is attracted to smart women who are not fooled by his schemes.

Secondary conclusion: We have way too much time on our hands.  And that’s okay.