Rudolph, the reindeer with the red nose, has been around in song form since 1949, but after more than 60 years it’s time to re-examine the way we look at him.

Gene Autry recorded that first version, beginning the song with the familiar: “You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen.  But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?”

The accepted interpretation is that he’s asking, “Do you remember this Rudolph guy?”  Until last night, I saw it that way too.  That is, until a friend of mine complained that this is a ridiculous notion.  If we know the lesser reindeer by name, why wouldn’t we remember the most famous one?

My answer:  we’ve been looking at the song all wrong.  He’s not asking if we remember Rudolph, but rather if we want to end his reign of reindeer leadership through a recall election.  I may have spent too long thinking about this, but stay with me.

Consider the structure of the Santa/reindeer team.  We have Santa, the unquestioned North Pole authority who plays a vital role in all of Christmas.  The reindeer, while not directly in charge, are necessary to guide the sleigh to houses all over the world.  At any point, they could go on strike and Christmas doesn’t happen.

What we have is a system of divided government with an executive who needs the support of the legislature.  Santa can use his veto power to boss around the reindeer, but Rudolph and crew can just as easily shut down any of Santa’s proposals.

The singer in this song obviously supports Santa and derides the reindeer as a know-nothing group that blindly follows its incompetent leader.  He wants to throw all of them out, but especially the overhyped one with the red nose.

“All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names.  They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.”

Here he acknowledges that at one point even the other reindeer didn’t take Rudolph seriously.  Sure, he was on a few committees, but minor ones like the Sawdust Committee.  They never let him do anything that mattered.

Then there was a “foggy Christmas Eve,” a day in which a Santa/reindeer rift threatened everything.  Santa cashes in all of his political chips and gets a shakeup in reindeer leadership.  He gets Rudolph appointed as their leader.  All of a sudden, the reindeer throw out all of their previous thoughts about Rudolph, everything they knew about this hopeless sad sack with antlers, and pretend he’s the greatest thing that ever happened.

“They shouted out with glee, ‘Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, you’ll go down in history!!!!!'”

The singer’s words are soaked in a syrupy glaze of sarcasm.  Everyone agrees this Rudolph guy is a loser, but now that he’s the leader, you’re all going to just pretend he’s the greatest thing that’s ever hit the North Pole?

The other reindeer have long been a joke — “You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen…”

But the biggest threat to Christmas is clearly Rudolph.  So, do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?

My Christmas gift to you all — a picture of the National Christmas Tree!!