BuzzFeed has made quite a name for itself by compiling the modern listicle, numbered sets usually adorned with animated GIFs that are supposed to make you laugh or remember something fondly from your childhood.
Just when you think they have done every possible topic, they roll out a new one. It’s a never-ending factory of things like “21 Times ‘The Simpsons’ Bizarrely Predicted The Future” or “The 25 Whitest Things That Have Ever Happened” (several of which involve horrendously failed high-fives).
But I came across one last week that was potentially eye-opening: “36 Things You Never Realized Everyone Else Does Too.”
Obviously not everyone does them, and neither do I, but there are a few that stood out as particularly entertaining.
1. On a road trip, you start to think of the other cars as your travel companions, and feel a tinge of sadness when you exit the highway.
This makes me think of my journeys driving home from college. It was a three-hour trip, straight down Route 15 from central Pennsylvania to Virginia. Along the way, I often ended up cruising along with the same cars for long stretches of time, sometimes 20 minutes, sometimes two hours. I talked to them using their license plate state as their name. “Come on, New York! I’m giving you plenty of space to get in this lane before you catch up to that truck!” The moment they exited, I bid them farewell the same way. I tried not to cry.
4. You’d rather take an inferior parking spot and walk than stress yourself out looking for the perfect spot.
I worked in retail for a long time, including almost two years at a large mall. I can’t tell you the number of times I watched as people patrolled the first two rows of parking in the garage waiting for someone to show up and free up a parking space. While they were cruising, I stuck my car in the first convenient-enough spot and walked inside to continue my day, because after all, what’s a few more steps when you’re going to be walking around the mall anyway? Life is too short.
11. You need a fan blowing on you as you sleep because you like being buried under covers.
Best feeling ever.
16. You always feel weird saying your name out loud.
Not so much my name, but when I lived for a while in Florida, I was really self-conscious about the way I said the name of my street. Because of that, I also became aware of just how often I needed to give my address to someone. My apartment was on Hanging Rock Court, and for some reason the “Hanging” part always sounded so odd when it came out of my mouth, as if I wasn’t pronouncing all of the word and my pizza or cable service was going to get misdirected. Say it with me now, han-GING.
24. You need to check behind the shower curtain every time you go in the bathroom.
If you go into my bathroom, the shower curtain is always open for this very reason. If I’m at your house, there’s a 20 percent chance I will check. BONUS: I also sometimes check the back seat of my car at night to make sure no one is han-GING out back there waiting to strangle me as I drive. Blame Hollywood for that one.
26. You OFTEN feel phantom phone vibrations in your pocket even when your phone didn’t vibrate.
This doesn’t happen OFTEN to me (the caps are a bit intense here), but it does happen. I try to be cool and not check my phone.
32. You immediately forget someone’s name right after they’ve introduced themselves.
This does happen OFTEN. I think it’s at the point that I don’t even try anymore.
34. You refuse to accept “jif” as the proper pronunciation of GIF.
I will never accept this. You shouldn’t either.