2014 is an election year, and in case you thought that in today’s age political parties had achieved some magical, big-data efficiency, I can assure you they continue to poorly allocate their resources.

Take for example this fine letter I received recently from the Republican National Committee, which I will point out has simply “Monday morning” as its date:

They are writing to tell me they are “saddened” to see me go, and want to know if I will continue my financial support for the party:

Here’s the problem: I’ve never given a cent to the Republican party or any other political party.  But apparently losing even that non-existent level of support is really stressing out the RNC:

As part of this mailing, the RNC included an “exit interview” to get my thoughts on the direction and priorities of the party.  Many of the questions assume — again, incorrectly — that I am a Republican and a financial contributor to the party.  Where they really lost me, though, was with their return envelope for this survey:

I’m not putting my hard-earned stamp into improving your party.  If you want my opinion, you may pay for it.  Actually, scratch that.  I have one very important piece of wisdom to impart about the state of this country.  RNC, you may have this one for free:

Don’t do the wave at baseball games, kids.

Democrats are just as guilty of improper identification, though at least with me their misdirected efforts come in the form of email.  For years I have sporadically received emails from the Democratic National Committee or President Obama’s election campaigns.  This one came last month, inviting me to travel to San Francisco to meet the president:

I’ve written before about how these began as messages intended for someone named Cheryl Wilburn, a name that is close to the username for one of my email accounts.  I hope Cheryl didn’t want to experience the Bay Area (after making a donation, of course).

No discussion of political miscues or general ridiculousness would be complete without some mention of the state of Florida.  They apparently have record-keeping issues as well.  I haven’t lived there in more than five years, and yet they want me to renew my driver’s license:

This was successfully delivered to my home in Virginia, and includes spaces to note different mailing and residential addresses.  I’m not going to take the time to research whether this is a standard practice in other states, but it seems a little nutty to me to be able to have a residential address for a driver’s license in one state and a mailing address in another.

At least I can’t register to vote in Florida or anything.  Wait, actually there’s a form for that in there too:

Keep up the good work, Florida.