I learned two things this past Valentine’s Day.

First, if you tweet about why you’re single (joining the trending hashtag #WhyImSingle), a company may take that as a marketing opportunity and offer you something.

@cjhannas You know what goes great with a good book? The cozy #TempurLove pillow we’re sending you. #BookWormsRule pic.twitter.com/wT6y3xROa5
— Tempur-Pedic (@TempurPedic) February 13, 2015

I fired off several of these gems, such as, “I don’t like bacon” and “I explain things with, ‘So there’s this episode of The Simpsons…'”  But only one got love from the fine folks at Tempur-Pedic.

The second thing I learned, thanks to them, is that there is such a thing as a “Limited Edition 2015 Valentine’s Day Pillow.”  I sincerely hope there’s someone in America who collects one from each year like Hess trucks.

This thing arrived at my door the other day, bringing my Tempur pillow collection up to two.  See that, corporate America, you were rewarding someone who already uses your product!  You already got my money!!!  Whatever, these pillows are freaking awesome.  There, you’re welcome.

So what makes a pillow special for Valentine’s Day?  Um, maybe the heart that’s stitched on there?

I imagine that while I’m sleeping that heart pulses out loving vibes like that Care Bear with the heart on his chest.  (I just did more research than a 31-year-old male should do on this topic and his name is Tenderheart Bear.)

So I think the lesson here is that being single and using Twitter can be lucrative.  Take that, couples with other things to do!

Happy cuddling.