Last week I got an email that had just about everything, starting with time travel:

The message is from Hinge, a dating app that shows you profiles of people who are connected to you in some way through your Facebook network.  They show you a few profiles a day, you say yes or no, and if you both say yes then you can chat.

I haven’t used this app since March, but apparently Future Me really wants me to talk to Anne.

How far in the future was this written?  I feel like that’s a crucial piece of information for Current Me to know.  If it’s only a few weeks from now, that’s less compelling than 98-year-old me imploring me to act.

Also, worth it in what way, Future Me?  Is this a love connection or do I get a really good deal on a timeshare through knowing her?  DOES SHE OWN A TACO BELL? 

I sure hope Future Me is way in the future, because man the end of the email is not cool:

And that capitalization.  Come on, Future Chris.

Oh there’s another issue too.  This message included a picture, which, well, shows Anne standing rather next to a gentleman in a way that suggests her status is not exactly single:

So Future Chris, please follow up with clarifications on these issues.