I would like to dunk on Tom Hanks.

A year ago, this was not an issue that crossed my mind.  But then I started following Ringer writer Shea Serrano on Twitter, and read his book “Basketball (And Other Things).”

Along with chapters examining questions such as which NBA championship was the most important and if The Purge started tonight, which NBA player’s team would you choose in order to stay alive, there is the one that led me to Tom Hanks.

“If you could dunk on any figure in time, past or present, basketball-related or otherwise, who would you pick?” Serrano writes.  “Someone famous? Someone giant? A renowned physicist? A person from your work you secretly hate? Would you dunk on James Naismith? That would be a delicious slice of irony. Would you dunk on the Pope? Anne Hathaway? Usher?”

First off, having Anne Hathaway there made for one of those moments on the Metro when you laugh at something no one else can see and wonder if they think you are crazy.  That happened a lot with this book.  I thought about the question for a few days, but once the words Tom and Hanks hit my brain, I couldn’t think of anyone else.  At first, I think he’d be mad but smiling like it didn’t bother him at all.  But then what I like about this choice is that he would come right down on the other end and absolutely dunk right back on me and then yell “HANX.”

And that would be the most hilarious moment of my life.

Serrano does a great job of mixing semi-serious discussions of questions about basketball history with the more absurd chapters, like how would a player’s legacy change if they had a different name?  Like, would LeBron James be LeBron James if he was actually LeBron Jones?

“Kyle McHale and Kevin McHale ended up exactly the same because Kyle is exactly the same name as Kevin. If you know someone named Kyle then the next time you see him say, “What’s up, Kevin?” and he won’t even notice. Same for if you know a Kevin. Just say, “What’s up, Kyle?” He’ll tell you how his day was.”

I’m what you would probably call a casual NBA fan.  I rarely sit down and think, “Oh I could watch a basketball game right now,” and much of my basketball viewing is background TV until the playoffs arrive.  So one thing I really appreciated about this reading experience is that for each applicable chapter there is a YouTube playlist of highlights that I could go to in order to see a play I didn’t remember or one I absolutely wanted to watch again.

For example, Serrano has a chapter about players who are remembered for the wrong reasons, including Chris Dudley who tried to stop Shaq from dunking one time.  His description almost makes the video unnecessary, but together they are a joy.

“Shaq backed Dudley down to near the rim, spun, then dunked all of the meaning out of Dudley’s life. Dudley went tumbling into the courtside cameramen and -women. He immediately jumped up, grabbed the basketball, and then fucking chucked it at Shaq as Shaq was jogging back down the court. I am 100 percent in favor of people throwing things at other people when they get mad at them.”

The edition of the book I got is extra fun because in the back it has some basketball cards for fictional characters.  That is an extension of the chapter about a fictional basketball player draft, which included its fair share of moments that probably made people on the train think I’m crazy.

Each character has a brief bio before Serrano discusses their overall merit.  For Jim Halpert of The Office, it starts like this:

Name: Jim Halpert
Height: 6’3″
Weight: approximately 190 pounds
Position: small forward

The immortal dog Air Bud has this as his bio:

Name: air bud
Height: approximately 22″
Weight: approximately 70 pounds
Position: dog

Each of these scratch the surface of the entertainment in this chapter, and the book overall is such a fun time for anyone who enjoy basketball.  It was a really nice break after a few books I felt like I slogged through.

Also, if you don’t follow Serrano on Twitter, go do that right now.  In addition to his commentary in the same vein as the book, he’s also a super nice guy who frequently will do something like post a link to someone’s fundraising page, and in minutes his army of followers pitches in and takes care of a stranger who needs help.